<!-- --><!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\07528749891\46blogName\75Living+Out+Loud+with+Darian\46publishMode\75PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\46navbarType\75LIGHT\46layoutType\75CLASSIC\46searchRoot\75http://loldarian.blogspot.com/search\46blogLocale\75en_US\46v\0752\46homepageUrl\75http://loldarian.blogspot.com/\46vt\0756004064978662927164', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
0 comments | Monday, July 31, 2006





So yet another Sunday night was spent at the unofficial "black spot" The Abbey in West Hollywood with my boys Trent and Steven. They teamed up on me and was finally able to drag my butt out of the house. I was falling into the sad pattern of going to work and returning home, all work and no play makes Darian a very dull boy!

I'm sure to always have a great time whenever I'm around Trent's crazy ass! It's non-stop laughter the entire time. If you haven't been to his blog yet you must go and participate in his madness. Thanks guys for showing me a great time.

3 comments



Who's going to take the number #1 spot in September? Some say Beyonce, others say Janet. My prediction is that Beyonce's album will enter the charts at number one only to be dethroned by Janet a few weeks later when "Twenty Years Old" is released on the 26th( i.e. the day she and Jermaine will get married?). Meanwhile a battle of the album covers has begun with bloggers taking shots at Beyonce for her "glamour shots" inspired cover. I must say I'm not impressed and the hair is all wrong! I'm not sure what B was going for with this shot but there had to be some better shots in the bunch.

Janet on the other hand is laying me out with her infectious smile! Her cover is simple yet pleasing to the eye, and her camp was smart enough to give her fans a chance to design her album cover, marketing at it's best.

It's almost a little ridiculous that these two artists are even competing against each other. Janet is an icon, and at the end of the day she is everything that Beyonce wants to become.

4 comments | Saturday, July 29, 2006




This clip is pure fire!!!! It makes me wish I could really vogue. I usually just do the same old tired recycled moves I learned years ago! That's alright my dancing skills are still A+ ! I hope you enjoy this clip as much as I did, maybe you can steal some of the moves and try them out at the club tonight with all of the other video queens who break out into choreography on the dance floor! (don't you just hate that?! I'm guilty)

0 comments | Friday, July 28, 2006



Yesterday as I was reading the comments left on Keith Boykin’s website I was struck by a comment left by a reader named Michael. Michael’s younger brother had just come out and he along with the rest of his family were having a difficult time understanding his
“choice”. His exact words are cut and pasted below:

My younger brother came out of the closet a few weeks ago and stunned the family. Some are angry, others are shocked and many are puzzled that he would chose this lifestyle where so many are battling the HIV virus. My older uncle told him that being gay was making a conscious choice to live in a deathstyle of quick sex and shallow existence where gay men life expectancy is much lower than his straight counterpart. I don't want my brother to deny his true self, marry have children and then announce to the world that he is leaving it all behind for a man at age 40. On the other hand, I don't want him subjected to the hatred, venom, scorn and attacks that gays face each and every day. I remembered standing by and feeling powerless watching a feminine guy being bashed in the head by some DL brothers while in college. I cried for my brother's pain and wish to God that he was straight. What's 'gay' about being gay? Why would a man want to sleep with another brother and ignore the natural option of the sist

My Letter

Dear Michael,

I know that you are probably shocked and confused about the recent confession from your brother about his sexual orientation. While this may be a hard pill for you to swallow, remember that he is the person that has to deal with the complexities of living life as a same gender loving man. It took an amazing amount of courage for him to reveal his truth, now is not the time for you to back away from him when he needs you the most.

You seem to be caught up in the notion that your brother chose this “lifestyle”. Contrary to popular opinion, your brother didn’t choose his sexuality any more than you chose yours. I know homosexuality may be foreign to you, something you’ve been taught to hate, and most likely you’ve been subjected to negative stereotypes and untruths about gay people all of your life. Let me ask you a question, when you look at your brother do those stereotypes apply to him? Probably not.

I challenge you to look at your brother exactly as you did before he revealed to you his truth and find the courage to love him unconditionally, and take this as an opportunity to dialogue and connect with each other on a deeper level.

It’s ok for you to be worried about his well being, but remember HIV/AIDS does not discriminate, gone are the days when it was only affecting gay men.

You have the power to influence how everyone else in your family treats your brother. You said you felt powerless as you watched a gay man being beaten while in college. Imagine that person was your brother, would you still feel powerless? Well that man was someone’s brother and someone’s son, and every time you hear a homophobic slur or witness an injustice towards a gay person imagine it’s your brother and stand up and do the right thing.

Trust and believe me when I say his orientation is not rooted in sex and actually goes beyond the act of sexual intercourse. What you deem to be natural is the exact opposite for him.

While it’s sure to be hard adjusting to knowing what he’s known all along about himself, it’s the beginning of a relationship with your brother as a whole person who is living life honestly in the face of insurmountable odds. Embrace him, love him, but most of all learn from him.

Darian

2 comments







I know we're given the month of February to celebrate our blackness and the contributions of great African-Americans in America, so forgive me for bringing up my people in July.

Too often I think we mention the contributions of people like Alice Walker, Lorraine Hansberry, Rev. James Cleveland and others but fail to mention their lives as same gender loving people. We have made a significant contribution to the world in many areas such as the arts, politics, and religion.

I came across a Black List that included the names of many SGL black people who's entire story has been left out of the pages of many black history books.
It's an interesting list, check it out and revel in knowing how different the world would be without the contributions of so many SGL people.

1 comments | Thursday, July 27, 2006

7 comments | Wednesday, July 26, 2006




I've been sitting on pins and needles all day but the wait officially ended at 5:46 p.m. PT. I will be moving to Atlanta, Georgia in three weeks. I've lived in LA for the past 4 years, the longest I've ever been in one place. I'm sure there will be some things about LA that I will miss, but I'm looking forward to all of the new experiences that await me in Atlanta.

It's going to be crazy having 3 of my closest friends in the world around me all of the time. Bennie, Travis, and Tramaine get ready baby I'm coming!!!!

I do know that I will miss the awesome people at work I've had the pleasure of working with the last 9 months. You guys are amazing and I will never forget you.

So my life is in transition again and I couldn't be more thrilled!!!

1 comments




Well I knew it all along and now that Lance Bass' NSYNC days are over he is finally free to be the homosexual he was meant to be. All I can say is good for you Lance! I remember the weight that was lifted off my chest once I finally came out.

Lance says he is in a very stable relationship with "Amazing Race" winnerReichen Lehmkuhl. Rumors started swirling around Lance's sexuality when he was spotted in an Orlando gay nightclub. Former bandmate Joey Fatone was quoted as saying that"Lance had his full support". The two are actually pairing up to produce a sitcom based on The Odd Couple where one of the characters will be gay.

I wonder what Justin Timberlake has to say about all this? Does Lance's outing squash any chances of an NSYNC reunion? Do we ever really want to hear them sing "Bye, Bye, Bye again? Only the future will tell, but for now welcome to the club Lance !

1 comments




Very rarely do I come across a personal testimony that moves me to the point where I'm compelled to share it with every one that I know, but that was the case when I read an article by Billy Porter written for The Advocate.

Many may know Billy from his work on broadway in the revival of Grease as the teen angel or the original John in Miss Saigon.
His voice is a gift from God and it has taken him all over the world and back.

I will not go into detail about the article because I just can't find the words to express how I felt after reading it, I will just let you experience it for yourself.

Billy Porter:Pulpit Bully

2 comments | Tuesday, July 25, 2006



I came across this clip of the famous documentary "Paris is Burning" today and I had no choice but to post it to my blog.

I saw this movie for the first time when I was in junior high school in Alabama and it was at that moment I realized that I had to
live in New York.

It was something about the excitement of the city and the idea that gay people were living their lives openly and no one seemed to care that I think excited me the most. I would watch this movie everyday after school(along with the Five Heartbeats) and although to this day I've never been to a ball I connected with the people in the film on a very strange level. I'd never met any of them with the exception of Octavia St. Laurent years later, but I knew even then that their experiences were apart of who I was and the life I longed to live in New York City.

Watching the clip brings tears to my eyes as I reflect on the young black boy in Alabama with so many dreams who was bold enough to step out and actually make it happen. As the saying goes "if you can make it in New York then you can make it anywhere". Let Paris Burn!

3 comments



Who Is Ken Blackwell ? In my opinion he's a black man who is oblivious to the plight of African -Americans in this country and specifically the plight of black gay people. Blackwell who is currently the Secretary of State in Ohio is running for Governor and recently madeheadlines when he compared gay people to "arsonists and kleptomaniacs" !

This language is being used by someone who is running for public office and is supposed to be a voice for all of the people in his state. Is he not aware that there are gay people in Ohio who vote? Mr. Blackwell is convinced that homosexuality is a choice and can be changed contrary to mental health data that states the opposite.

What bothers me the most other than why I still can't understand why a black politician would ever run on a republican ticket, is why Blackwell and other African-Americans continue to create uneducated theories around sexual orientation and the gay community.

This is just another example of how low Republicans will stoop to energize their base, but I'm getting fed up of them doing so at the expense of gay people. I urge you to contact his office and leave comments on his website to let him know that his bigotry and homophobia will not be tolerated, much less elected into public office. Enough is enough!

Ken Blackwell's Info
172 E. State St., 6th Floor Columbus, OH 43215 Phone: 614.221.8552 Fax: 614.224.6926 Email: info@kenblackwell.com Web: http://www.kenblackwell.com/ Post A Comment On His Web Site: http://www.kenblackwell.com/Contact/

2 comments



She's the underdog, plain and simple. I want to see her succeed. We all remember all the drama that took place when she and original Destiny's Child member Letavia Robinson was ousted from the group due to problems with management(aka Beyonce's daddy). Letoya's album drops today and she will have the opportunity to show the world what she's made of. I personally love the first single Torn and it has been doing well on the charts.

She recently embarked on a radio and college promotional tour and I have to give her credit for remaining professional after constantly being bombarded with Destiny Child's questions. She now has to prove herself all over again and that's never easy, the industry and the general public isn't always so nice.

Mary J. Blige has invited her to go on the road with her this summer, so look out for these two in a city near you.

All I can say is Letoya do your thing !

3 comments | Saturday, July 22, 2006



I was first introduced to the rap artist Deadlee on the ever so popular website myspace and I quickly learned that he was not like the majority of the mainstream rappers we hear on the radio and watch on tv. Deadlee is an out gay man and he is bold enough to infuse his life into his music.

Today I came across a very provocative video he recently shot entitled "Good Soldier", it will be airing on LOGO and will be used as apart of an upcoming GLAAD campaign. The images in the video totally blew me away, I just wish this video could be in heavy rotation on MTV. Take a look at it and share it with a friend.

1 comments



Alright kids Ms. Janet is back ! For those of you who don't know I am a huge Janet Jackson fan and the excitement is building for the release of her new cd on September 26th. The latest news is that she will be a guest on Oprah the day her album drops.

I have a feeling this album is going to be a huge success. It's time Janet finally silences her critics and shows everyone that she's here to stay.

I found this great clip of her behind the scenes on the set of "Call On Me" on youtube.com and I thought I would share it with everyone. Enjoy!

1 comments | Friday, July 21, 2006




If you're like me you're probably counting down the days until the second season of Noah's Arc starts. I'm glad the first season is out on DVD and available on iTunes because I didn't know how I was going to make it until the new season starts. I think I've watched the first seson on my iPod at least a hundred times. You know it's bad when you know what lines are coming next!

The show's creators have been really tight lipped about the plot of the second season, but there's a few hints in the cast bios over at logoonline.com. Also check out the new photos, Jensen is looking delicious as usual, but there's also some new eye candy. Thanks Patrick!

3 comments



In this post I will attempt to do something I never do, totally expose myself to the world, allow you to see the real me, even more of myself than I usually share on this blog. In the 8 years that I've been on my own living life as an adult, a performer, a gay man, a manager, and now an activist, I've had some wonderful highs and some depressing lows.

My life hasn't always exactly gone according to plan, their has been some sweet surprises and some surprises I could have done without, but in the midst of it all I have learned that I'm a lot stronger than I could have ever imagined.

My father affectionately refers to me as the "nomad" in the family because I've lived in more cities than he's ever thought about visiting.

In a conversation today with my boss I remembered the 21 year old dancer who moved to LA with 400 dollars in his pocket, a beat up Geo Prizm packed with suitcases, barely a couch to sleep on, and no job lined up. 4 years later I'm still here and not just surviving but thriving.

In many ways I feel blessed because I've always had a sense of purpose and I recognized early on that my life was not a mistake.

My journey is my journey and if I could go back and re-write history I probably would, but I wouldn't be the person I am today. Those experiences are apart of the reason why I'm writing this blog today.

So why can't I tell my parents about my new passion? Why am I afraid to live out loud to the people who already know my truth but choose not to speak about it? Does that make me a hypocrite or just afraid?

I don't usually take the time to reflect on my life and my accomplishments becuase I'm always pressing towards the next
goal, but I can honestly say this blog and the responses I've received from people all over the country has assured me that
what I'm doing is bigger than myself or any fear that may enter my mind.

The above clip is of Heather Headley and the original broadway cast of The Lion King performing "Shadowland".
My favorite line of this song is, "where the journey may lead me......let your prayer be my guide". It really describes the space I'm in right now and how I'm adjusting to life changes. I hope it touches your heart as much as it has touched mine.

5 comments | Wednesday, July 19, 2006



Internet rumors are swirling around the inevitable divorce of Al and Star Jones- Reynolds. Reportedly Al was seen leaving a very high profile divorce lawyer's office in New York after a 2 hour visit.

Now allow me to vent for a minute in a few questions that I hope to answer or at least spark some dialogue.

1. Why is it that the entire world seems to know that Al is gay except for Star?

2.Why do so many women enter into unauthentic marriages with gay men?

3. Why do so many gay men enter into unauthentic marriages with women?

I do not know the reason why Al and Star decided to get married, but let's just say for the hell of it they actually love each other (doubt it!).

What I do know is a gay man when I see one, and Al definitely falls into the category. I have a feeling in a few months Star will be sitting on Oprah's couch giving us an encore performance of Terry McMillan's drama!

How does she not know that this man is gay? Could it be that she is only allowing herself to see the life she has created in her mind and not reality?

I know what it feels like to get caught up in the fantasy of being in love, and even when it's obvious the reality has fell short of the fantasy you continue to hold onto what you have for fear of being alone. So that's her excuse, what's his?

I think it's safe to assume that Al is aware of his same-sex attraction and simply married for money and fame. Were any of us talking about Al pre Star Jones?

My problem is with Al and other gay men like him who get married and lead these unauthentic lives and contribute to the already skyrocketing divorce rates. Why do these men feel the need to adopt the heterosexual privilege?

Do they feel pressured to conform to society's expectations for their life? Are they just so uncomfortable with their true sexuality that they use marriage as medicine to cure their homosexuality?

Will someone please let me know, because I've never been able to disregard what I knew to be inherently true about myself to play a role to please others or to trick myself into believing I was somebody other than who God designed me to be.

I honestly feel sorry for the both of them, because in the end someone is going to walk away with a damaged heart, and a life lesson learned the hard way.

3 comments




For the first time since the AIDS epedemic has claimed countless lives of African-Americans across America, black leaders have shifted their focus and made HIV/AIDS a priority.

Over the weekend the NAACP kicked off their 97th Annual conference in D.C.and President Bruce Gordon along with chairman Julian Bond addressed AIDS as a black disease that required our immediate attention.

Mr. Gordon called for everyone attending to get tested, and even lead by example when he walked to a testing site to receive an OraSure HIV Test.

Sheryl Lee Ralph was also on hand to perform her powerful one -woman show,"Sometimes I Cry: The Loves, Lives and Losses of Women Infected and Affected by HIV/AIDS.

Phil Wilson, director of The Black Aids Institute in Los Angeles said,"It is such a big deal to have high-profile people acknowledging the disease and being tested, it tells our community that we are embracing the epidemic, that we have gotten over the stigma. That is crucial."

"The universal church has been a destructive force on HIV, saying that AIDS is a sin, a punishment from God," said Pernessa Seale, executive director of Balm in Gilead, a New York-based nonprofit that works to get churches to provide AIDS education and support. "It is 25 years later, and we are still fighting that myth, that lie.

AFRICAN AMERICANS ARE:
13%

of the U.S. population
50%

of new HIV diagnoses
56%

of AIDS deaths
65%

of new teen AIDS cases
67%

of news AIDS cases among women

Source:San Francisco Chronicle/Leslie Fullbright

4 comments | Tuesday, July 18, 2006



The time is drawing closer for all of the true Janet Jackson fans across the globe to experience the much anticipated new album "20 Years Old".

It will drop on September 26th, but before the release Janet has a string of promotional events planned to support the album. One that I'm extremely excited about is her upcoming performance on the Today Show that will air on September 29th.

The video for the first single "Call On Me" will air on July 26th on BET'S Access Granted.

Recently Janet gave Ryan Seacrest a very candid interview where she discussed her relationship with Jermaine Dupri, her desire to become a mother(hurry up girl time is running out!), and the inspiration behind the "20 Years Old" set.

You can listen to the interview by clicking here.

4 comments





3 comments | Monday, July 17, 2006



Despite being sick with the flu, Saturday night I managed to drag my butt out of the bed and attend a special screening of Maurice Jamal's new film Dirty Laundry.

With an all star cast that includes Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar, Jennifer Lewis, Terri J. Vaughn,Simore,Joey Costello, and appearances by Dottie Peoples, Dr. Bobby Jones, and Alec Mapa, this film had no choice but to be successful with the caliber of talent that was brought on board.

The story revolves around Sheldon/Patrick(Rockmond Dunbar), a successful New York writer who returns home to Paris, GA only to find out he is a father of a 10 year old boy and to unexpectedly come out to his mother(Loretta Devine)and his family about his sexuality. All of which is met with some resistance from his very “southern” family.

It’s a very real story that hasn’t been told yet and what’s so unique about it is the way writer-director Maurice Jamal chooses to tell the story through humor instead of the expected heavy drama. The film definitely had it’s moments where it hit home and brought tears to my eyes, but between Jennifer Lewis and Loretta Devine I was rolling in the aisles!!

The movie will be shown at festivals across the country over the summer. If it comes to your town, run and go see it. This is a movie that every family needs to see, especially mine.

Below are some pics from the evening thanks to my great friend Steven at
pinkmafiaradio.com




3 comments



I’m sure we all remember Blaine and Antwoine from the popular In Living Color sketch Men on Film. I remember watching this sketch in the early 90’s and being totally aware of my orientation and laughing right along as they portrayed black gay men as flamboyant and overly effeminate people.

When I watch it today I have very different feelings about this sketch. I’m sure when Keenan Ivory Wayans created this sketch it wasn’t done maliciously, but it was done because he knew it would evoke laughter, but at who’s expense?

I know characters on television can’t be all things to all people, but I think you have to be extremely careful when you’re portraying a group of people who are often misrepresented, misunderstood, shunned, or simply ignored. The soccer mom in Ohio who may have never met a black SGL person or a gay person of any color is left to believe Blaine and Antwoine represents the entire community.

I wonder if this sketch would fly today in 2006? Would there be gay activists on the attack or would we laugh right along with the rest of the world as I did before I knew better? Or am I just creating an issue where there isn’t one? Let me know.

5 comments




Project Runway is back for a 3rd season on Bravo and I couldn’t help but notice a very attractive brother named Michael Knight from Atlanta, Georgia. During his audition I was captivated by his hip-hop exterior and surprised by his sleek and elegant designs. I immediately telephoned my two best friends Bennie and Travis in Atlanta to get the T.

Now I’m about to tap into my “inner tabloid reporter” because I was dying to know if he was “family” because my gaydar was reading inconclusive. My best friends seems to think he is without a doubt and I’ve come to that conclusion as well after a thorough examination. Another thing I found interesting about Mr. Knight is that although he lives in Atlanta, he grew up in Montgomery, Alabama, my hometown.

Beyond the question of his sexuality, if he’s gay I wonder if he’s going to have the courage to come out on the show? Isn’t that an unspoken requirement if you’re a male on Project Runway? The season just started so we shall see.

4 comments




Kathy Griffin is one funny ass white lady!!! Over the weekend I had the opportunity to catch the self proclaimed D-lister on her hilarious new show on the Bravo(Queer)Network.

There are very few non-black comics that evoke laughter to the point of tears from me, their material usually doesn’t resonate with me like the stand up of Eddie Murphy, Adele Givens, Monique, Steve Harvey, Richard Pryor, or Bernie Mac(3 words:" milk and cookies” !).

But Kathy has her own style of raunch that I just can’t get enough of, and did I fail to mention that she loves the gays!

I’m still trying to figure out how her fascination with white gay men developed because she is all about them! Maybe she’s smart enough to know if she’s ever going to move up to the A-list she better acquire a huge gay following. Besides every real diva has got to to have one. Where would Cher, Diana, Patti, Madonna, Janet, or Britney be without their gays?

She’s turned me into a small fan. I wonder if I’m her first black gay? LOL

4 comments | Friday, July 14, 2006

I'm a bit under the weather. Hope to be living out loud again soon. Send me an e-mail to cheer me up.

4 comments | Thursday, July 13, 2006




Once again I am sitting in awe of Keith Boykin, Jasmyne Cannick, and the other bloggers who refused to allow the homophobic concert with Beenie Man and TKO take place this month in New York. This is just another example of how powerful our community can be when decide to collectively stand up against homophobia.

Lately I've read some not so nice comments about Keith and the work he does on a national level on his blog. Say what you will about him, but one thing is for sure he is a leader and a driving force in our community. You may not always agree with him and rally behind his causes, but I think he genuinely has the black SGL community's best interest at heart.

Check out a great article at AOL Black Voicesfeaturing Jasmyne Cannick, and also a complete timeline of the events leading up to the cancellation of the concert at Frank Leon Roberts page.

2 comments | Wednesday, July 12, 2006




Last night I had the opportunity to spend time with three very special people at In The Meantime's town hall meeting on Crystal Meth in the black community.

Many of you may know Karamo Brown from MTV's The Real World Philadelphia. Now a Los Angeles resident, Karamo has been traveling the country speaking about GLBT issues, particulary issues that effect the black community.

Jonathan Perry whom many of you may recognize from the controversial Oprah Winfrey Show with author J.L. King is an HIV/AIDS activist who is on the rise as a major player in the fight to increase visibility of black SGL people and to end the AIDS epidemic.


Cleo Manago has been apart of the struggle for years and recently was invited by Louis Farrakhan to speak as an out SGL man at The Millions More Movement, an event that celebrated the anniversary of The Million Man March.

I couldn't help but feel I was in the midst of greatness last night. I think it's very important to surround yourself with positive people who share the same passion about moving the community forward when it comes to the inclusion of black SGL people.

The world better watch out because individually we're strong, but collectively we're a force to be reckoned with.

6 comments



Don't call me gay ! This is what's being uttered by many brothas in the community who have a same sex attraction. They prefer to wear the label of same gender loving. I personally have used both terms and have identified with both, but it wasn't until a discussion I had last night with a group of intelligent SGL men that I realized the term SGL encompasses my blackness and my same gender feelings.

The word gay almost exclusively relates to the white gay male experience. While they have been discriminated against based on sexual orientation, they are still a privileged group of people who have never had to deal with the oppression of slavery or being denied basic civil rights such as the right to vote or to enter through the front door.

My experience as a black same gender loving man who is often forced by my heterosexual counterparts to make my blackness superior over my "gayness" speaks volumes to the added pressure on black SGL men that white gay men don't have to endure.

So if there must be a label for my sexuality, I accept same gender loving.

3 comments | Tuesday, July 11, 2006





I'm sure by now if you're a blog head like I am you've heard about the online campaign to get LIFEBEAT to cancel the HIV/AIDS benefit concert with homophobic reggae artists Beenie Man and TKO in New York this month. My friends Keith Boykin and Jasmyne Cannick have launched a fierce call to action to stop this assault on the gay community . While I support this cause I have chosen to stay quiet on this issue and let them fight this battle. I have not sent a fax, email, or placed a telephone call to LIFEBEAT'S corporate office in New York. This particular story has just not struck a chord with me, and I believe if I'm not passionate about an issue I shouldn't rally behind the cause. I support those whole heartedly who have attacked this injustice head on.

My focus happens to be more personal right now. Have you ever heard the saying "be careful what you ask for"? Well in 30 days my life could possibly change again. I wish I could elaborate but I have to wait until everything is for certain. I'll just give you a hint by the images up above.

Forrest was right when he said "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get".

3 comments | Monday, July 10, 2006




Starting July 12th in Los Angeles SGL men of color ages 18 and up will have a place to go to meet other brothas and share their experiences or just kick it in an environment that is healthy and promotes self love.

The Exchange is sponsored by Cleo Monago and The Amassi Center here in L.A. and will be an ongoing event. My thanks to Jonathan Perry for making me aware of this wonderful program specifically for young SGL men.

6 comments



On Sunday morning I had plans to attend church service, but for some reason I had a meeting of the minds with my activist friend Jonathan Perry the night before until 3 A.M. on how we could "change the world" and was in no shape to roll out of bed early on Sunday to make it to church.

Instead I woke up to Kirk Franklin's new video "Imagine Me" on BET Video Gospel. The song and the images in the video are beyond powerful. This is a song that carried me through a very tumultuos period in my life, actually the entire album got me through. By the time the video was almost over I found myself worshipping and having a beautiful experience with God in the privacy of my own room, minus the preacher, the 10,000 member congregation, and all the ladies in their fabulous church hats.

And I realized the best worship doesn't always have to take place in a building, but in your pajamas while you still have sleep in your eyes at the spurr of the moment.

I searched everywhere for the video but was unable to find it. So I thought I would share a classic Kirk performance from the 1996 NAACP Image Awards with Whitney Houston(when she was healthy), Denzel Washington, and Gregory Hines. Enjoy!

2 comments | Friday, July 07, 2006



I've been fortunate enough to speak withRev. Tommie L. Watkins Jr. on many occasions and I've come to find out that we have a lot in common. We were both born and raised in Alabama, both out and proud, and we share the same passion about GLBT and HIV/AIDS issues. This video clip is of him during the Equality Ride last year as he along with a group of activists marched onto the U.S. Naval Academy to speak with navy personell regarding the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. His courage reminds me of a young Dr. King. We need more people in the black GLBT community like him.

2 comments



I came across a great video recently on the Faith in America website and I thought I would share it with everyone. It's a beautiful message of God's love for all of his people by Rev. Reggie Longcrier of North Carolina. I thought it was a wonderful contrast to all of the homophobic sermons that have been preached in churches across America lately. If you believe in God and have been struggling to live an authentic life and follow Christ then you will enjoy the confirmation of your faith through this video.

2 comments | Thursday, July 06, 2006



The New York State Court today voted 4-2 that marriage inequality in the state of New York does not violate the state constitution. This is a huge blow to gay activists who thought the court would do the right thing and extend full marriage privileges to same-sex couples or at least civil unions. The court ruled that this is a case that should be decided by the legislature and not the courts.

It amazes me how such a ruling could come down in one of the most liberal states in the country. I look forward to the day when my grandchildren will be able to enjoy the benefits of living in a world where there really is equality for all people. I can just imagine this issue not being a big deal at all 20 years from now. But for the time being we must fight the good fight and endure all the road blocks along the way to ensuring that all citizens are able to live the American dream.

5 comments | Wednesday, July 05, 2006



Dear Donnie,
You don’t know me but I’m well aware of who you are. Although we have never met, years ago your music became apart of my life. But not a single lyric or melody has had the impact that your life story has had . Let me forewarn you that this is not a letter of admiration or praise for your ministry. While I cannot dismiss the calling God has for your life or your anointed musical ability, as a gay African-American man I must dismiss the lies and misinformation you have fed the public regarding the origin of sexual orientation and the ability to revert to heterosexuality if desired.

As a former victim of child molestation I’m sure during your early development sexuality was a very confusing matter for you. I’m truly sorry that you had to endure so much pain at such a young age and that the pain has continued in your adult life.

Your story was given to me by mother and to many other gay brothers by relatives as a prescription to cure their homosexuality. See Donnie this is where I have the problem. I don’t have a sickness and I don’t need something as natural to me as my skin color to be prayed out, sent to an X gay ministry, or married into a unauthentic heterosexual relationship.

You claim that you have been delivered and now lead a “normal” heterosexual life, what I see is a man who may have changed his behavior but not his orientation. Let me tell you Donnie there is a difference.

I know it would be extremely difficult for you to live life as an out gay man in your industry, the majority of your peers are still closeted, and we all know that in the black church if you remain a quiet homosexual then others are free to believe you’re not in spite of knowing the truth.

I’ve heard you say in interviews that you were miserable when you were living the “gay lifestyle”(whatever that means). I really hope that as a single man in his 40’s with no signs of getting married in the near future, you have found happiness in conforming to the unauthentic expectations on your life that you’ve decided to accept.

I know it’s not easy being true to yourself and aligning that with the word, there is obvious conflict in scriptures according to many interpretations. I can only speak for myself when I say I don’t think I would have ever sought out God so early in life and developed a relationship with him if I hadn’t been blessed with a same gender attraction. The homophobia I experienced growing up kept me on my knees praying.

So Donnie I know it’s much easier playing the role and not making anyone uncomfortable by allowing them to see the real you, but for how long?

Your message is one-sided and has provided false hope for people looking to change their son or daughter when the author of the story is clearly still struggling himself. My life changed completely the day I decided to accept my DNA as God created it. Will you accept yours?

Darian

3 comments




Pretty soon LA residents(particularly black residents) who are driving down Crenshaw Boulevard will see some very strong messages on billboards all over the community by In The Meantime Men's Group.

The gay organization of men of African descent led by Jeffrey King has taken another step to bring visibility to the black gay community in LA. But what’s so important about this campaign is where the billboards will be located, right in the middle of the hood. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am that these images will be on display for everyone to see and how proud I am to be affiliated with this organization. Check out mylifemystyle.net to view the entire campaign.


Photobucket









Photobucket