Living Out Loud with Darian

Barring a stay of a historic California Supreme Court ruling, same-sex couples will be able to wed in the state beginning June 17, according to a state directive issued Wednesday. The state said it chose June 17 because the state Supreme Court has until the day before to decide whether to grant a stay of its May 15 ruling legalizing gay marriage.

A poll released Wednesday found that for the first time, about half of California voters support same-sex marriage.

The Field Poll found that 51 percent of respondents backed legalizing same-sex marriage and 42 percent opposed it. A 2006 poll found that 44 percent supported same-sex marriage and 50 percent objected; in 1977, the first year Field posted the question to California voters, only 28 percent were in favor.

(Source )


Over on the east coast newly appointed Gov. David A. Paterson has directed all state agencies to begin to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, like Massachusetts, California and Canada.

In a videotaped message given to gay community leaders at a dinner on May 17, Mr. Paterson described the move as “a strong step toward marriage equality.” And people on both sides of the issue said it moved the state closer to fully legalizing same-sex unions in this state.

Legal experts said Mr. Paterson’s decision would make New York the only state that did not itself allow gay marriage but fully recognized same-sex unions entered into elsewhere.

The directive is the strongest signal yet that Mr. Paterson, who developed strong ties to the gay community as a legislator, plans to push aggressively to legalize same-sex unions as governor.

While gay rights advocates widely praised the spirit of Mr. Paterson’s policy, some saw more than a little irony in the fact that New York has yet to allow gays to marry.

“If you’re going to treat us as equals, why don’t you just give us the marriage license?” said Alan Van Capelle, executive director of Empire State Pride Agenda. “So this is a temporary but necessary fix for a longer-term problem, which is marriage equality in New York State.”

( Source )

I think it's only a matter of time before New York and New Jersey become the next states to favor marriage equality. The ball is rolling.

In Case You Missed It:



It's Legal! (LOLDARIAN)

Why Black Gays & Marriage Is Not An Oxymoron (LOLDARIAN)

Damage Control (Jasmyne Cannick)

California Aftershocks (SOVO)

The Guys Next Door (Economist.com)

This post is a departure from what I usually write and was inspired by a section from Terrance Dean's new memoir "Hiding In Hip-Hop". I finished the book a few days ago in preparation for my upcoming interview and I could not shake this story. Thanks for the advanced copy Makeda.

One could argue that Kenny Greene(pictured center) died years before he took his last breath on October 1, 2001 at age 32. As the lead singer of the 90's R&B group INTRO, Kenny wooed female fans with his sultry voice and stunning good looks. He penned many of the group's signature songs like "Come Inside" and "Let Me Be The One" as well as created number one singles for a then unknown Mary J. Blige as well as Tevin Campbell, Will Smith, and Jason Weaver. He shared the 1994 ASCAP award for songwriter of the year with Dave "Jam" Hall and superstar producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis.

But what fans didn't know was that Kenny Greene was bisexual and dying from AIDS. The closet that Kenny Greene was forced to live in in the early 90's and the secrecy and shame surrounding his sexuality and debilitating health would prove to be as detrimental if not worse than the disease itself.

I was a pre-teen at the height of INTRO's success and couldn't recall much about the group, so I searched the internet for as much information as I could find. The infamous interview from Greene's death bed to Sister 2 Sister Magazine editor Jamie Foster Brown and an op-ed by friend and Girlfriends actress Jill Marie Jones provided the most insight.

The events leading up to his tragic death and the silence from the music industry and the black community following his death was shameful. I'd like to believe the black community and the music industry has made progress, but have we?

I recommend that you read the short interview here before you proceed.

Jill Marie Sums It All Up:

Still Thinking About The Relevance of Kenny Greene's Life & Death-An Excerpt



In July of 2001, Kenny Greene came out as a man who had been living a life as a bisexual. It was important for him to do so because he had been irresponsible and the pressure to be a straight man in the alpha-male world of being a black man and a R&B singer was enormous. He didn’t want to allow the pressures and hate that goes on toward gay and bisexual men in the R&B world to go on in secret. It was important to him to make sure that people understood that what they see isn’t necessarily who the artist is.

I'm not excusing Kenny's actions, but it must have been excruciating. Let us remember that this was the early 90's, pre-Ellen, pre-Will and Grace, before Greg Louganis came out, before Melissa Etheridge was a household name, before the countless gay-themed movies, Queer as Folk , and Rupert Everett and George Michael came out (officially).

And in the black context it was before Dwight Ewell's gay militant in Chasing Amy or Michael Boatman's Carter on Spin City . Why do I say that? Well think of other prominent black gay actors or characters in the media. There aren't any. And Ewell and Boatman aren’t even gay.

The black population is overwhelmingly Puritanical, due almost entirely to the Big Brother like presence (and importance) of the church in our history and culture. Black people are frighteningly homophobic mostly because black masculinity in this country has historically been linked to his ability to procreate. The more women a black man got pregnant the more valuable he was to the master and the economy of this country. Sexuality and virility in black men is intrinsically linked to economics. But more interestingly, our Puritanical pariah-like faith is a direct response to our oppressors who said one thing in the name of God and did the exact opposite. For black people, it wasn’t about lip service but real spirituality and faith. And while that is changing, the mindset prevails.

Kenny Greene was in a high profile position where he was making very erotic and sensual music and if the public knew it could have been about a man, it would have sent shockwaves through the black community...in a way that we may not be ready to deal with. This is inexcusable. In my mind, a population still persecuted should not persecute another, but I’m smart enough to know it is not that simple. The bottom line is Kenny Greene’s music was damn good and no one in our community could have dealt with the ramifications of intense sexual and emotional bonds between men. And since he was bisexual, the not knowing would have made it worse. We like our demons and hatred clear-cut in America. Context is just too much for our minds. He’d have been run out of the industry.

Read the entire article here

Pride season has officially begun and I thought it would be a good idea to point you in the direction of the information you'll need to attend all of the events planned throughout the country.

Below is a list of Pride events across the country brought to you by loldarian. com affiliate Earl Fowlkes, President of International Federation of Black Prides.

Pride City Spotlight:Black & Latino Gay Pride
June 21-22, 2008
Albany Riverfront Park
Albany, New York

Stretching across three days in June, it is a time for us to come together in peace and solidarity, to escape the rigors of our daily routines. Although we may face struggles to maintain our acceptance and dignity, we are able to live our lives with passion and soul.


June

NEWARK, NJ *
NEWARK-ESSEX PRIDE
JUNE 9 -15, 2008

CONTACT: June Dowell-Burton
Phone: 973-941-2104
Email: newarkessexpride@gmail.com /june1225@aol.com
www.newarkessexpride.org

BOSTON, MA
BLACK GAY PRIDE NEW ENGLAND
JUNE 13 - 15, 2008

PORTLAND, OR
PORTLAND BLACK PRIDE
JUNE 12- 15, 2008

CONTACT: Alisa Simmons
Phone: 503-417-7991
Email: alsia@brotobropdx.org
www.brotobropdx.org

MEMPHIS, TN
MEMPHIS TN BLACK PRIDE
JUNE 12 - 15, 2008

CONTACT: Terryl Buckner
Phone: 901-522-8459
Email: hardawayarg@yahoo.com or terrylbuck61@aol.com
www.memphisblackpride.com or www.brothersunited.com


COLUMBIA, SC
SOUTH CAROLINA BLACK PRIDE
JUNE 25 - 29, 2008

CONTACT: Todd Shaw / Jermaine Lee [ National Organizer ]
Phone: 803-799-9190
Email: info@southcarolinablackpride.com
www.southcarolinablackpride.com

Continue to full list by clicking here.

Why Celebrate Black Pride? For a weekend, no one will be judged too butch, too femme or too black. Let Ray Daniels tell you why here.

In the first of many installments of a new feature on this site I will be introducing you to black gays and lesbians who are thriving in their personal lives and careers. These are men and women who are contributing greatly to the African-American and gay communities. First up is Charles Pugh.

Millions across the Motor City of Detroit welcome Charles Pugh into their homes daily as the co-anchor on FOX 2 WJBK and on his own radio show "That's What's Up" airing on Sundays on WJLB.

Born and raised in Detroit by his late grandmother Margaret Pugh after his mother was murdered when he was three years old, and witnessing his father's suicide four years later ate age seven, he was able to overcome any potential pitfalls from his early childhood experiences and blossom into an amazing and influential individual.

A graduate of The University of Missouri with a degree in journalism, Pugh's professionalism and infectious personality landed him spots at new desks around the country from Missouri, Kansas, Indiana, and Virginia. In 1999 he made good on a promise he made to himself years earlier to return home to report the news before his ten year high school reunion, he achieved that goal with two months to spare.

One thing that separates Charles Pugh from the rest of the pack is not only is he successful and adored by legions of fans, but he is also openly gay and committed to his partner Michael Matthews for over a year.



Pugh's bosses at Fox 2 have long known of his sexual orientation, and he says it's never been a secret.

"For me, I'm opposed to the word coming out," he said. "It's like a buzz word. You can't come out when you've never been in. I'm not in. I don't hide the fact that I'm gay. I don't hide it at work. I don't hide it with my friends. I don't hide it in public. I'm not ashamed of anything, so I don't have anything to hide."

Pugh was recently honored with a Man Of Excellence award by The Michigan Chronicle for his outstanding character, career achievement, and contributions to the Detroit African-American Community.



Pugh fearlessly moderated a groundbreaking town hall forum on homophobia in Detroit in 2004 and remains optimistic about educating his city on the harmful effects of homophobia.

When asked if he feared that the public would view him differently after coming out this is what he had to say, "You can't live your life in fear. That's one thing about being a man, you stand up and you play the hand you're dealt. And if somebody has a problem with me being gay, that's their problem, not mine."

Charels Pugh: Someone You Should Know

Check out Charles at work in the clip below with Ms. Wendy Williams.

My inbox was flooded yesterday with links to BET's new website geared towards the black LGBT community.

The special feature section, promoted on the main page of the web site, includes a section on "who's who" in the Black LGBT community, a list of common myths and misconceptions, information on HIV, a history quiz, a list of black gay pride events, and information on Terrance Dean's new memoir Hiding in Hip-Hop.(The Daily Voice)

My initial reaction was shock and disbelief, but the good kind. Finally, somebody at BET realized that black gays and lesbians are apart of the community and should be represented in their content. But as I perused the site, keeping true to form, the BET that we've come to know in the past that fueled the down low phenomenon and gave Terry McMillan a platform to lash out at Jonathan Plummer and gay men everywhere returned to its exploitive roots.

There is also a section for black women that lists signs to look for if you suspect your man is gay. "Ladies if your man spends more time in the bathroom than you do, then he might be gay." If he has an obsession with Whitney, Mariah, Diana, Celine or Cher, then you could have a diva on your hands." If he's always quoting Oprah or talking about something amazing she did, then he might be gay". And my favorite, "One of the most definitive signs that your boyfriend is gay is that there are some male strangers in his MySpace list of friends or contacts."

Wow. Black women everywhere should be so grateful, Thanks BET! (*Darian rolls his eyes, a clear sign that I might be gay*)

Overlooking that misstep the site does attempt to debunk myths about the gay community and I'm particularly proud to see influential black gays and lesbians profiled who contribute greatly to society.

I want to be able to give BET credit for diversity, but I'm holding out on complimenting their efforts because well...it's BET.

Ryan Lee, senior writer at Atlanta's weekly LGBT newspaper Southern Voice interviewed yours truly earlier this week for a piece on Georgia residents reaction to the California Supreme Court ruling granting marriage equality.

If you couldn't tell by now I'm an advocate of marriage rights for gays and lesbians, so I jumped at the opportunity to explain how important this decision was for my family's future and the uphill battle gay couples face in states like Georgia who have constitutional amendments banning same-sex marriage.

Read the entire article here. Thanks Ryan!

I told myself after discussing this issue with my partner Trey last night that I wasn't going to write about it today, but after reading a comment about this issue on another website that I could have easily written myself I had to speak on it...so here goes.

Lately there has been a lively debate on this blog concerning the importance of marriage equality for black gays and lesbians and whether or not we're actually interested in legalizing our relationships. I have to point to a recent post by Jasmyne Cannick where she does an incredibly good job of explaining why she didn't write about the major Supreme Court ruling last week that granted marriage rights to same sex-couples and why she has refused to participate in the fight for marriage equality.

There is this belief that as a gay person of color if you're interested in benefiting from marriage equality or participating in an effort that is clearly spearheaded by white gay organizations then you're somehow out of touch with the black gay community and the "real issues".

I simply reject the idea that as black gay men and women we cannot be concerned or pour our efforts into more than one cause at a time or that gay marriage is simply of interest to only white people. Maybe my position on this issue is a little bias because I'm in a committed relationship and I look forward to the day when my relationship is recognized legally and my family is extended all of the legal protections that are afforded in marriage, versus all of the legal red tape most gay families have to go through in order to protect themselves that in many cases in the end are not enough.

Does the broader gay community have a lot of work to do when it comes to including black gays on important issues? Of course. Is it fair to say that we've felt "pimped out" by the mainstream gay community when they only come to us when they need black faces to support a cause they deem important? Maybe so.

Yet these problems shouldn't dissuade us from openly embracing a civil right that we've been denied for far too long or even participating in the fight for marriage rights despite the collective guilt that is spreading in our community for doing so.

There are hundreds or even thousands of black gay couples who will jump at the chance to be married and just because they're faces aren't seen on the nightly news doesn't mean they don't exist. How many black gay men do you know that are out and willing to say so in front of a camera? If we're ever going to be a driving force in the gay rights movement or change the worlds perception of how gays and lesbians look then we must come out. But that's another topic for another day.

So I'm not buying the idea that gay marriage is not important to the black gay community and I question the motives of anyone who would purport such. Contrary to the growing belief, there are black gay couples who are in committed relationships and who look forward to taking those relationships to the next level. I know because Trey and I are fortunate enough to be one of those couples.

You Might Be Interested In:

It's Legal! (LOLDARIAN)

Damage Control: In the Aftermath of Last Week’s Ruling on Gay Marriage—Gays, the Black Church, and the Mainstream Media (Jasmyne Cannick)

Black Clergy on Same-Sex Marriage (LA Times)

Showbiz Tonight Covers Ellen's Marriage Announcement (Towleroad)

If you're in Atlanta and you're a fan of theater then you'll definitely not want to miss an incredible one-man show by Lynwoodt Jenkins entitled 'FAGGOT'. I'll give you a second to take in the title...okay I'll proceed now.

The plot deals with being gay in the African-American community and its unique challenges. The main character is Michael, who has always known he was different. He goes through a sexual rite of passage at the early age of 12 and begins to fear he won’t be a good son to his mother.

At 18, he runs away from home in Atlanta and goes to live in New York. When he arrives, he goes through some hard times. At one point, he begins working at a restaurant, and the owner allows him to live in his basement.

But when the owner finds out that Michael is gay and has had a male visitor, he kicks Michael out and leaves him homeless. Jenkins portrays all the characters, including a drag queen Michael befriends. (SOVO).

Lynwood gave patrons at Outwrite Bookstore in Atlanta a preview of the performance last night when he performed excerpts from his acclaimed show. Faggot runs May 22-June 14 at The Whole World Theater in Atlanta. To purchase tickets click here. Get into the video below.








A groundbreaking look at gay and lesbian Muslims, A JIHAD FOR LOVE uncovers a hidden face of the world's fastest-growing religion. Shot over five years in 12 countries and produced by Trembling before God's Sandi Simcha Dubowski, this moving documentary explores reconciling faith with sexuality in societies where "debauchery" can be punished by imprisonment and even death. Embodying the literal meaning of jihad as "inner struggle," the film's subjects reveal the hopes of a community fighting for its place in the heart of Islam.

The film opens today in NYC and can be seen through May 27th at The Waverly Theater. Check out the trailer below.

Photos are surfacing online from LOGO's 1st Annual New Now Next Awards where the best of LGBT pop culture across all mediums, including the web, film, television and music will be highlighted. The event will be hosted by Candis Cayne (of ABC's Dirty Sexy Money) and Colman Domingo (of LOGO's The Big Gay Sketch Show) and will feature a number of special guests and performers including Cyndi Lauper and Janet Jackson, who will accept the Always Next, Forever Now award.

LOLDARIAN.COM favorites Michelle Williams, Jensen Atwood, Wilson Cruz and Leona Lewis can be seen above. The show is scheduled to air on June 7th on LOGO. Check out the full list of nominees and performers on LOGO's website by clicking here.

46% Is Not Acceptable! HIV Rates Among Black Gay Men Continue To Rise

The figure is the number of black MSM who are infected with HIV according to a 2005 study of five cities—including New York—by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The corresponding figure for white gay men was 21 percent.

At the core of the crisis: Black MSM younger than 30. While the number of new HIV diagnoses declined by 22 percent among MSM older than 30 between 2001 and 2006, according to the city's Department of Health and Mental Hygiene found, it increased by 30 percent among younger men, doubling among MSM between 13 and 19. (In the latter age group, the cases grew from 41 to 87 cases.) Black and Hispanic teenagers comprised 90 percent of these new diagnoses.

Read the story here.



Man's Best Kept Secret In The Church: On the Down-low, Very Down-low is a new book by Lecei Wright. This time the down low tale is coming from a woman scorned in Jamaica. This particular story actually repulsed me. How many more people are going to bulk up their wallets at the expense of black gay men? Everybody's willing to tell their tale but nobody is willing to be a force to change the homophobic environment that causes the down low. Read the full story here.



Gambia's President Yahya Jammeh declares war on the gay community and gives them 24 hours to get out or "face serious consequences". This is also coming from a man who said he'd discovered a cure for AIDS and was able to cure patients in three to thirty days. Really. I'm not making this up. Read the story here.

The highly anticipated video for Michelle Williams' single "We Break The Dawn" from her new album Unexpected dropped yesterday and it was well worth the wait. Michelle is finally coming into her own and it's amazing to watch. Get into the video below.





Ms. Jackson stopped by Ellen yesterday to perform her hits Rhythm Nation and LUV and at 42 years old she's proving that she can still work the stage. She also gave specifics on her fall tour that will kick off in September 10th in Vancouver. Fans were given a number to call in to suggest Janet's playlist for the show. I have to admit I called but I was quickly turned off by the number of fans leaving their life story on the hotline. Nobody cares what you were wearing when you bought your first Janet CD. LOL! Get into Rhythm Nation and LUV below.

via Towleroad

Three men — Micah Jontomo Tasaki, 21 (pictured), y Lee Winfield, 20, and Robert Lee Denor, 19 — are scheduled to appear in court today for a gay bashing that occurred in Sacramento just hours after the Supreme Court handed down its same-sex marriage decision on Thursday. It's not known whether there is a connection between the two events.

"The Thursday evening incident at a Sacramento gas station came just hours after the California Supreme Court issued a ruling overturning a state ban on same-sex marriages. A 23-year-old Sacramento man was sitting with another man in a car near the station's restroom when the three suspects asked if he was a homosexual, Sacramento Police Officer Michelle Lazark said. The man said he was. When he got out of the car, the three men beat and kicked him, Lazark said. He did not require medical treatment. It was not immediately clear if the suspects were reacting to the court's ruling, Lazark said. 'It's a gay-bashing. Gay slurs were used before they commenced to beating him,' she said. 'I don't know if these guys were looking for someone or are just ignorant.' ... The victim of the Sacramento beating, who police would not name, identified his attackers, who were arrested near the gas station. Their cases are being reviewed by Sacramento County prosecutors, spokeswoman Tanisha Worthy said."

Tasaki remains in jail after being unable to post $85,000 bond. Winfield and Denor both posted bond and are currently free.

Above, a photo of Tasaki from his Black Planet profile page.

My memories of May 1998 were filled with excitement and high hopes for my future as I was preparing for my high school graduation, but ironically as my adult life was just beginning, the life of famed British footballer Justin Fashanu was coming to a tragic end.

I first learned of the life of Britain's first openly gay footballer as retired NBA athleteJohn Amaechi reflected on his unfortunate passing earlier this month during an interview with the UK's The Voice.

May 2, 2008 marked the tenth anniversary of the death of Britain's first openly gay footballer to earn a million pound salary.

Justin Fashanu was born in 1961 in London and was raised along with his brother John by foster parents due to his mother's inability to provide for the pair financially. His natural ability to excel in sports, specifically his chosen sport of football landed him on a series of professional teams over two decades. His shining moment occurred in 1980 in a game against Liverpool where he scored the goal that was seen around the world and lauded by fans everywhere.

He made history when he was the first black footballer to earn a million pound salary when he was recruited to play for manager Brian Clough's Nottingham Forest in 1981.

In 1990, Justin publicly came out as gay in an interview with the tabloid press after learning that he would be outed in an upcoming expose', becoming the only prominent player in English football so far to do so. Many former colleagues spoke out in anger against him, stating that homosexuals had no place in a team sport, and his brother John publicly disowned him. Although he claimed that he was generally well accepted by his fellow players, he freely admitted that they would often joke maliciously about his sexual orientation, and he also became the target of constant crowd abuse because of it.




His then notoriously homophobic manager Brian Clough banned him from team practices after publicly coming out and eventually traded him to Southhampton. In Clough's autobiography he recalls a conversation he had with Fashanu after learning he attended gay bars. "'Where do you go if you want a loaf of bread?' I asked him. 'A baker's, I suppose.' 'Where do you go if you want a leg of lamb?' 'A butcher's.' 'So why do you keep going to that bloody poofs' club?" Clough later apologized for his cruel treatment towards Justin Fashanu before his death in 1994, realizing he had contributed to his pain.

Coming out coupled along with a serious knee injury proved to be the beginning of the end of a career with so much promise. Over the next few years Justin would play for various teams in Britain as well as stateside in Georgia and Maryland. It was here according to Fashanu he would have consensual sex with a 17 year old boy who eventually accused him of sexual assault.

Justin returned to the U.K. avoiding ever being questioned by police, the charges were later dropped due to a lack of evidence.

However, upon his return Justin Fashanu took his own life in an abandoned garage after visiting Chariot's bathouse in London by tying an electric fix around his neck. His suicide note read;"I realized that I had already been presumed guilty. I do not want to give any more embarrassment to my friends and family"..."I hope the Jesus I love welcomes me, I will at last find peace."

Watch the celebrated goal and a moving tribute to Justin Fashanu below:

I'm not sure how many people caught the Tyra Banks show last week when her topic was "Gay In The Hood", but the show is getting quite a reaction across the gay blogosphere. I know I'm a little late on this one but I had to share my thoughts after my friend Jeff was kind enough to send me the entire show to watch.

Tyra travels uptown to Spanish Harlem to meet Richard, a gay teen who suffers from low self-esteem and is repeatedly subjected to anti-gay slurs and violent attacks in his neighborhood. She stages an intervention with Morgan Jourdan, a drag queen and mother of the House of Jourdan in order to expose Richard to an environment that will love and accept him unconditionally.

We listen to "the children" talk about the difficulty of being openly gay in the inner city, many of whom were shunned by their family and forced to make it on their own, and then of course there's plenty of vogueing.

My mixed reaction:

It seems Tyra Banks is determined to be a gay icon, shouting at the top of her lungs, "I love the gays and the gays love me!" Well, okay Tyra. I'm always excited to see any representation of the LGBT community on television as long as it sends a positive message. While I don't think this show was negative or even intended to come across as such, I do think it walked a fine line and may have even crossed it. Gay houses and the ball subculture is apart of our community and is an element that fosters creativity and provides a safe space for so many at risk gay teens. Yet I couldn't help but wonder if this show made us look more like circus clowns than human beings worthy of acceptance and respect. I'm sure you'll let me know.

Here's what folks are saying via Jezebel:

"Yeah, this is going to totally stop that kid from getting his ass beat."

"He seemed at home in the Jordan House but it's only one view of gay men after all, the flamboyant fashionista style gay man. But that's Tyra's world and it's all about Tyra."

"Ugh, I hate when people do that "the gays" thing--they would never be like "black people love me!" but it sounds just as dumb. Not all gay men are swishy vogueing ferocia pomade-obsessed gym bunnies. Ick."

"I think it meant a lot to that kid, and I would think any outcast, no matter where they live, would be relieved and thrilled to be introduced into a community environment where he can be himself and not fear for his safety. That is why those "houses" exist."

Watch clips from the show at the links below:

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Black gay filmmaker, writer, and photographer David Barclay Moore has been commissioned to produce and direct two short documentaries about black gay culture for The Masculinity Project for PBS affiliates NBPC & ITVS in conjunction with the Ford Foundation.

He is seeking three black gay couples in the New York or Washington D.C. area with or without children, one middle aged couple married with a child, another younger couple at the start of dating, and a third elderly couple who have been together for years. If you have children it's a plus.

Below are some of the questions David hopes to answer through his documentary.

How do Black gay men negotiate gender roles within their relationships? In a relationship between two men, how is it decided who cooks and who does the dishes? Do both men work, or does one stay at home to be a house-husband and look after the kids? What kinds of stressors do children place on the relationship? What legal rights does a gay spouse have?

If you're interested in participating in this amazing project or you know a couple who might be please contact David via e-mail at david@davidbarclaymoore.com.

Check out his website here.

What a great day for Californians and the rest of America! I'm packing up the car with my future husband and our dog and heading back to the west coast!

Read what everyone is saying about the ruling below:

The Daily Voice

Rod 2.0

Pam's House Blend

The Huffington Post

Queerty

Human Rights Campaign

GLAAD

Towleroad

Good As You

Anderson Cooper 360

from lovebscott.com

Jesus take the wheel and run me off the road! I had the guilty pleasure of interviewing the orgasmic British actor, Marcus Patrick, and might I add what a wonderful interview it was indeed! Everything about him from his smile, British accent, skin, cheek bones and the list goes on - is simply divine! Love muffins, I tried to hold my composure as best as I could but he was doing some things that excited me and almost made me explode! Trust me once you watch the video, you will know what I mean. In the splendiferous interview, we discuss all types of things from his television appearances to the September 2007 issue of Playgirl! Never in my wildest dreams did I think that in less than a year from introducing him to you that I would ever have the chance to sit down and talk to the orgasmic Marcus Patrick himself. God is so super duper good! (B. Scott faints and falls out his computer chair!)





Fantasia returned to American Idol last night to perform "Bore Me" from her last studio album and she ripped the stage as usual. I'm not sure if I'm feeling the red hair, but it's a hell of a lot better than the blonde hair she was wearing earlier this year. Make sure you check out Simon Cowell's face around the 2:43 mark!

Disclaimer: For my readers who are not interested in marriage equality or believe it's not important to black gays and lesbians you might want to skip this post.

The California Supreme Court announced yesterday that a ruling on marriage equality for it's gay and lesbian citizens will be announced today at 10 A.M PT/1 PM ET. There's already rumors swirling about that the justices will uphold the ban on marriage for same-sex couples as well as overturn it. I guess we should prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

I left California in 2006 with no plans to ever return, but if California falls on the side of equality then I believe I'll be spending the next few months talking my "unofficial" husband into moving. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

When I came out to my mother at 16 I can remember one of her greatest fears was that I'd be subjected to the cruel and unfair treatment that gays and lesbians face in society. She was equally afraid that I would face employment discrimination as well as rejection from the church. I assured her at 16 that I was strong enough to deal with any curve ball that life threw my way as a result of my "choice". I would later find out the choice I made to tell the truth and walk with my head held high was not as easy for everyone else as it was for me. But it was that decision that filtered over into every area of my life that I believe shaped my character and eventually led me into activism.

Gay rights is a civil rights issue. No American should be denied the right to housing, employment, healthcare, or marriage based on their sexual orientation, gender identity or expression. But allow me to take it a step further. No American should ever have to feel unsafe because they decide to walk down the street holding their partner's hand or face rejection from their family and church because they don't fit into the traditional roles. There should be a place at the table for all of us. I believe there can be- and if doors are being closed on us before we can pull out a seat at the table, then by all means we should kick the door down.


The problem I'm finding in the black gay community is that not everyone believes they're entitled to these rights and it's painfully obvious in many different ways. Now what I'm about to say will probably upset a lot of people and you may disagree and fire off a nasty comment or e-mail and that's fine. But this is the truth as I see it.

If I never had to read another online message board it would probably be a good thing. You see it's online where people really get to show who they truly are. They use their keyboards to spew the hatred that would likely get them into a lot of trouble if it were done in the real world. But what's appalling is the division and anti-gay sentiment that often comes from those within the community and not just from the opposition.

I have my issues with the broader(white)gay community, but when it comes to rallying together to fight for their civil rights or to be represented in the media they are on one accord. How I wish it was the same for us.

It seems many of us are so afraid to live openly that we wear the DL title like it's a badge of honor. We sit in churches and listen to religious dogma that's detrimental to our souls, refusing to leave, refusing to acknowledge who we really are and willingly participate in the bashing.

We run to black gay pride celebrations all over the country in droves but we fail to show up to events that will have a long lasting impact on our lives.

We divide ourselves by our outward characteristics. Fems, fats, queens, thugs, trade, or "straight-acting".

We slowly destroy the very small representation we have in the media with the power of our own tongue. It happened with Noah's Arc and it's beginning to happen with The DL Chronicles. While we should always expect quality material we should never expect these shows to be all things to all people.

We scoff at the idea that black gay relationships can and do work often becoming jaded and closed off.

We're not in a position to defend ourselves publicly from attacks because we're too afraid to come out. And we wonder why the black community is content with equating gays with whites even when they know better? Our community spokesperson that we could all count on to speak for us whether you agreed with his politics or not is retired. Who do we have now?

Our self esteem plummets as a result of internalized homophobia and it leads to all kinds of reckless behavior.

This is a problem. Forget about the homophobes in the world and the great white gay majority because somedays it seems we are our own worst enemy.

If you frequent other gay blogs then I'm sure you've seen the footage of actor/comedian Mike Epps' homophobic outburst at LAX yesterday when he was being photographed by the notorious L.A. paparazzi. I went back and forth about whether or not to post this footage until I realized that it speaks to some of the problems I mentioned in the post above. Some people feel Mike's inappropriate remarks were warranted because his privacy was being violated (on a public street?) and are defending him. While others are taking offense and accusing black folks of turning a blind eye to homophobia as long as it's being done by another person of color. I don't think Mike Epps represents the entire black race but this certainly doesn't look good.

Watch the video here.



Tye Tribbett is at it again. I wrote about Tye and his homo-hating ways last year after a performance on the BET Gospel Celebration where he called for LGBT folks to "come out of poverty, come out of lesbianism, come out of homosexuality, you can get out there's a better way". His new hip-hop effort disguised as gospel music with a few christian references and plenty of condemnation is entitled Stand Out.

The album’s title song, a reflection of the album’s overall philosophy, is an intentional up-tempo track that delivers a powerful message. “It’s the militant approach to doing things,” says Tye, “we gonna get in a lot of trouble, but I’m ready,” Tye admits. This song is about issues that are going on. I’m not lying. My point is I’m going to make it a little uncomfortable, that’s what Jesus did. This word is uncomfortable. Everybody is not going to love it. Somebody got to do it and I’m just bringing up topics. It’s time for a new normal to be presented.”

A new normal? Interesting. I've always had a problem with the heterosexist definition of the word normal.

Get into these lyrics:

How you gonna be the praise leader cause you listen to r&b
And hip hop is on your ringtone
Trying to tell you God ain't pleased
Since when did it become cool for you to live together unmarried
Men with men
Women with women
Telling you God ain't gonna have it


My God the hypocrisy in these lyrics and the image that Tye Tribbet and his choir present are earth shattering. Besides the usual gay bashing from Tye in the name of God he bashes hip-hop and r&b. Have you ever seen him perform live? The choreography for his stage shows could easily be done to any secular song and it would not look out of place. Not to mention his sound is far from the traditional "shady grove" gospel music our parents grew up on down south. How long will we let our brothers and sisters use the bible to justify their own bigotry and intolerance? I guess every artist has got to have a gimmick and Tye Tribbett has found his.

Listen to the song here.
Link 2

Since my blog has taken on more of a serious tone today I decided it was time to laugh.

Get into NBC veteran anchor Sue Simmons of WNBC in New York drop the F word on live TV. Hopefully ol' girl will be able to keep her job. I know I've dropped the F word a time or two at work. Granted it wasn't aired live for an entire city to see, but still, homegirl needed to let out her frustration. LMAO!

Hi-five to The Daily Voice

Famed author James Earl Hardy of the B-Boy Blues series is returning to the literary scene with some of his hottest work to date. The Freak Filez, an erotic anthology, due in the spring of 2009 promises to stimulate your mind and your body. The book includes nine erotic tales with brand new characters and a few you may remember from Hardy's earlier work.

Is It Still "Jood" to Ya? centers around the two lead characters from B-Boy Blues, Mitchell and Raheim as they rekindle their romance during the summer 2003 New York Blackout. Other titles include Booty, By Jake and The Last Picture Show to name a few.

If you haven't read the classic James Earl Hardy novel B-Boy Blues or any of his subsequent work then I suggest that you run and don't walk to your nearest bookstore. A film adaptation of B-Boy Blues is in the works by openly gay filmmaker Maurice Jamal and The Day Eazy E-Died is being adapted for the screen by filmmaker Kirk-Shannon Butts.

I had the pleasure of meeting James Earl Hardy when he sat on my panel for theDL Chronicles discussion earlier this year. He is truly an amazing human being. Let's hope I can convince him to push up the release date for his new book.



Look out for "The Freak Filez" online and in a bookstore near you soon.

Hi-five to DJ

The book tour and promotional appearances for Terrance Dean's highly anticipated memoir "Hiding In Hip-Hop" has begun. The author and former MTV executive sat down with shock jock Wendy Williams last week for an exclusive interview that was unusually tame given Wendy's reputation for insulting and embarrassing her guests.

Dean raises more than a few eyebrows during the conversation as he talks about being raped as a child, losing his mother and siblings to HIV/AIDS and tales of being inducted into a salacious underground of DL parties in Los Angeles.

Southern Voice senior reporter Ryan Lee delves into the human side of Dean with a great article in the latest edition of Atlanta's Southern Voice. You can read the entire article here. Below are a few excerpts:

Dean on being introduced to the DL scene:

There was just this connection that we had, certain things we said, and he noticed —” Dean says, his voice trailing off as he struggles to articulate the unspoken exchanges that have taken place between men across ages.

“I don’t know, it was just something we just knew, we could identify with each other, the conversations we had,” he says. “He invited me over to his house, introduced me to other friends of his who were in the entertainment industry, and that was my first introduction to, ‘Oh, there are men like me, but we have to be quiet about our sexuality.’”

Dean on why he isn't naming names:

“The reason I don’t name names is because this book is not about them, and I’m not trying to out people,” he says. “This is my memoir, it’s about my experience.”

Dean on being raped:

I never said anything because I knew it was wrong,” Dean says. “The second time it happened, I was like, this is so inappropriate, and what does this say about me? Why is he attracted to me? What did I do to cause this?”

After the second incident, Dean told his family, but feared that news about the sexual abuse had raced through his Detroit neighborhood and everyone now considered him gay.

If you're in Atlanta on June 14 make sure you check out Terrance Dean in person at Outwrite Bookstores and an exclusive loldarian.com interview to follow.

You can listen to the Wendy Williams interview below and check out a special confession from the author here.

boomp3.com

Hi-five to Clay Cane

When are people going to learn that they just can't say anything they want to about 'the gays' under the guise of free speech and get away with it? Last week we reported on Crystal Dixon, associate vice president of Human Resources at The University of Toledo and her respinse to an article written in the Toledo Free Press calling for tolerance and acceptance of the LGBT community.

Here's a little bit of what Ms. Dixon had to say that I'm sure she now regrets:

"As a Black woman who happens to be an alumnus of the University of Toledo's Graduate School, an employee and business owner, I take great umbrage at the notion that those choosing the homosexual lifestyle are "civil rights victims." Here's why. I cannot wake up tomorrow and not be a Black woman. I am genetically and biologically a Black woman and very pleased to be so as my Creator intended. Daily, thousands of homosexuals make a life decision to leave the gay lifestyle evidenced by the growing population of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex Gays) and Exodus International just to name a few. Frequently, the individuals report that the impetus to their change of heart and lifestyle was a transformative experience with God; a realization that their choice of same-sex practices wreaked havoc in their psychological and physical lives."

Ms. Dixon has already filed a lawsuit against the school on three basis;freedom of speech, religious prejudice, and racial prejudice.

A part of me wants to delight in Crystal Dixon's demise, but it's never a good thing to lose a job, especially during such hard economic times. Yet it's understandable why the university deemed it appropriate to terminate Ms.Dixon. She was responsible for insuring equity and diversity at the university. Ms. Dixon has a right to free speech, but that doesn't trump her responsibility to the students, whether or not they are gay.

It's unbelievably sad that our own continue to oppress their LGBT brothers and sisters when they know how it feels to be treated like second class citizens. Hopefully she'll learn that we're all God's children and we all deserve a place at the table.

Click here for links to the original article and subsequent press releases.

Hi-five Pam's House Blend

My level of respect for the talented team behind ABC's hit shows Grey's Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters was taken to another level last week with two storylines featuring gay characters.

On Grey's Anatomy audiences were introduced to two gay soldiers and the effects of the military ban 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' when one soldier is hospitalized with a brain tumor and his partner is forced to stand in the shadows. If you missed it last week then I won't spoil it for you by telling you the outcome. You can check out the video clips below. You might want to grab some tissue.

On Brothers and Sisters (which aired last night) characters Scotty and Kevin made prime-time history as the first same-sex couple to wed between series regulars on TV. I haven't seen the episode yet because I was in the air when it aired, but you better believe my DVR was set.

"This episode puts front and center the inequalities and challenges LGBT couples face every day.When people see stereotypes replaced with true-to-life, multi-dimensional characters, they see our humanity. They begin to understand that we all deserve to be treated fairly and have our relationships recognized.-GLAAD President, Neil Giuliano

Hats off to my sister Shonda Rhimes for creating such an amazing show and for having the courage to tell the stories of gays and lesbians during prime-time. Now I just have to get a memo to her to include black gay characters(now you knew I was gonna go there...lol!)

Sexy celebrities Jensen Atwood and Chris Brown are revealing more of their assets for their fans in the month of June. Jensen will be the focus of a 16 month 2009 calendar for Men of Eros and Chris will grace the cover of Ebony Magazine coinciding with the celebration of Black Music Month.

Activist Jonathan Perry has an exclusive interview with the Noah's Arc & Dante Cove star on his blog and will be giving away free calendars to five lucky readers.

Chris Brown dishes to Ebony about his love life, music, and of course sex. Gosh, is this boy legal? I need to know so I can stop myself from having these thoughts if he's not. LOL!

Here's an excerpt from the forthcoming article via Urban-Hoopla:

“I wanna do something more along the lines of a grown record,” Chris Brown says.

CB also goes in on the whole dating thing. “I go on dates, talk to a couple of chicks on the phone,” (ouch, did he just equate the Rihanna thing to dates and phone calls). “If I ever had a girlfriend, it’d always be a problem,” he admits. “Fans want you to be attainable.”

I need to go somewhere and cool off now! In the words of my friend B. Scott, "Lawdamercy Kelly Clarkson Eddie Murphy!"