Living Out Loud with Darian

Darian Aaron: Creator, Living Out Loud with Darian

2012-01-06T11:04:00.004-05:00

Darian Aaron is an American journalist and author of When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color (iUniverse Publishing). He is the creator of Living Out Loud with Darian, a 2008 Black Weblog Award winner for Best LGBT Blog where he provides commentary on social, political, and religious issues that impact the African-American LGBT community.

He has served as a staff writer for urban gay publications mPower Miami Magazine as well as CLIK Magazine. He is also a contributing writer for Project Q Atlanta and GBM News. Darian's work has been featured in The Advocate, The Huffington Post, The LA Times, The Daily Voice, and The Georgia Voice.

His digital media presence is expansive having appeared on leading web portals such as AOL Black Voices, Rod 2.0 Beta, Pam’s House Blend, Keith Boykin.com, Concrete Loop and The Advocate.com to name a few.

He has appeared on local and national television outlets such as FOX News, CNN, & Atlanta’s Pride & Politics discussing marriage equality and equal rights for the LGBT community.

Currently pursuing a degree in journalism at Georgia Perimeter College his early training was received in musical theater at The American Musical & Dramatic Academy in New York City.

He currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia with his partner Joseph.

When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color

2011-10-10T09:57:00.009-04:00

Press and videos for Darian Aaron's book debut: When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color

The Georgia Voice: New Book by Darian Aaron Focuses on Black Gay Men in Committed Relationships

Project Q Atlanta: Atlanta's Darian Aaron Goes from Blog to Book

Project Q Atlanta: ATL's Darian Aaron Kicks Off Book Tour

Brave Soul Collective: Brave Soul Artist: Darian Aaron

Rod 2.0: Darian Aaron Discusses New Book "When Love Takes Over"

10 Thousand Couples: Someone You Must Know: Darian Aaron

Black, White, & Gay: The Human Side: Darian Aaron/ Podcast

SGL Booklovers: Darian Aaron Takes Black Love Mainstream

GLAAD: When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of Gay Couples of Color

No More Down Low: Celebrating Black Gay Couples

Videos/Interviews

Darian Aaron on 3LWTV:

Sampson TV: Celebrating Black Gay Relationships: Interview with Darian Aaron

Brotherhood TV:August Book Selection: "When Love Takes Over" By Darian Aaron

Andresflava: New York Book Signing

Wa2tv: Book Review: When Love Takes Over

2011 Atlanta Black Gay Pride Literary Cafe

Promo Video: When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color

From The Desk of Darian Aaron: Select Published Articles

2011-10-09T11:46:00.002-04:00

The Huffington Post: Outing The Indsutry: It's Not A Game

AOL Black Voices: Damien & Seanmichael: An Untold Love Story

The Advocate: Tyler Perry's Down Low Hysteria

Opinion: LA Times: Gay marriage, nukes, delusions and more

The Daily Voice: Tyler Perry fuels down low hysteria and homophobia in For Colored Girls

Living Out Loud Images

2011-10-08T12:50:00.000-04:00

An Update from Darian

2011-09-23T15:45:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while since new content has been posted to loldarian.com so I thought I'd check in and explain my absence for those of you who are unaware. The mini-book tour in support of my new book When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color is currently underway. I launched the book here in Atlanta on Tuesday night to a large and enthusiastic crowd at Outwrite Bookstore (photos and video forthcoming). Many thanks to all of you who came out to support and have purchased the book. I'm also working my butt off in school to complete my journalism degree on top of my full-time job, so there's a lot on my plate.

I urge you to follow me on Twitter and friend me on Facebook (if you haven't already) if you want to stay informed about LGBT news. I update on both sites frequently with the latest news concerning our community. You can also follow my colleague @rodmccullom on Twitter to stay in the know.

My next stop on the book tour will be the Literary Cafe at Atlanta Black Gay Pride on Saturday, Sep 3, 2011 from 11am-3pm at The Melia Hotel in midtown Atlanta and Wednesday, September 21, 2011 at Nectar Wine Bar in New York City from 7pm-9pm (see flyer below for details). I'll also be making two appearances in Nashville, TN at the end of October. If you're interested in your city being added on the tour hit me up at whenlovetakesover@me.com.

Thanks for all of the love and support. I look forward to meeting many of you on the road!

Darian

OUTing The Industry: It's Not A Game

2011-09-13T11:48:00.003-04:00

My latest piece for The Huffington Post on rapper The Game's controversial and inaccurate statements regarding gay men and HIV/AIDS transmission.OUTing The Industry:It's Not A Game. Feel free to join the discussion here and on Huffington Post.

WATCH: "From Where I Stand": A Response To Black Men & HIV

2011-08-04T13:14:00.004-04:00

AID Atlanta and Eight Peace Productions have partnered together to bring an affirming message to black gay men in the wake of the recent HIV/AIDS data from The Center for Disease Control.

The CDC reports that HIV infections are up sharply among black gay and bisexual men under the age of 30 -- the only race and risk group in the United States to experience a significant increase between 2006 and 2009.

Charles Stephens, a Project Specialist at AID Atlanta, tells loldarian.com that "the video was created to focus on the resilience of young black gay men."

Watch From Where I Stand in the clip below. Feel free to spread it far and wide. Our community can't hear this message enough.

"From Where I Stand" Promo from Eight Peace Productions, LLC on Vimeo.

Actor Darryl Stephens To Star in New TV Show

2011-08-03T15:23:00.002-04:00

Whew! Is it just me or is it hot in here?! It looks like actor and Noah's Arc alum Darryl Stephens has landed a new gig opposite MTV The Real World: New Orleans alum Danny Roberts. Towleroad has the exclusive details on this "as-yet-untitled new gay scripted series created by Larry Kennar, Executive Producer of The L Word, about a group of friends in downtown L.A."

Via Towleroad:

The show is scripted but shot cinema-verité style, is still untitled, and keeps it raw and in your face " with dark humor and explicit humanity." Further details are being kept quiet as a certain network is negotiating the rights to air the series.Filming began Monday.

Head on over to Towleroad to view additional exclusive production stills here.

Let's just pray this show doesn't end up on Logo. We know what happened the last time Stephens starred in a show on that network.

The Grio Reports: Homophobia & Stigma Spark Rise in HIV Infections Among Black Gay Men

2011-08-03T14:50:00.003-04:00

The Grio has an alarming report on the steady increase in new HIV infections among black gay men.

The Grio reports:

Black gay and bisexual men of all ages account for 73 percent of new infections among black men, and the latest statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reveal that the burden of HIV is growing among some of the youngest members of our community.

CDC just reported that HIV infections are up sharply among black gay and bisexual men under the age of 30 -- the only race and risk group in the United States to experience a significant increase between 2006 and 2009.

Dr. Kevin Fenton, Director of National HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention for The Center for Disease Control writes:

A recent study of 21 major cities found that the majority of young black gay and bisexual men who were HIV-infected were unaware of their HIV status. These high rates of unawareness, coupled with the fact that young gay men tend to underestimate their chances of getting infected, are contributing to the increasing numbers of HIV infections we are seeing today.
When considering all of this information, the challenge before us is clear: we cannot end the black AIDS epidemic without confronting HIV among black gay men, and the stigma and homophobia that allows HIV to flourish in our communities.

The stigma of homosexuality runs deep in many of our communities. For young men who are just coming to terms with their sexuality, the weight of this stigma can be crushing. Tragically, it keeps many too fearful to seek the life-saving HIV prevention, testing and treatment services they need.

To protect the health of the next generation, each of us needs to confront the stigma that forces too many of our sons, brothers and friends into the shadows, and prevents them from seeking HIV prevention services that can help reverse the current trend.

The White House Office of Communications responds to the recent data implicating the urgency of curbing new infections among black gay men in an e-mail to loldarian.com:

Announced by White House officials in July 2010, the National HIV/AIDS Strategy seeks to reduce HIV incidence in the United States and prioritizes HIV prevention efforts in the populations where HIV is most heavily concentrated – gay and bisexual men of all races, African Americans and Latinos. To implement the Strategy, CDC is pursuing “High-Impact Prevention,” an approach that will prioritize prevention activities based on their effectiveness, cost, coverage, feasibility and scalability, in order to have the greatest possible impact with available resources.

The epidemic is far from over. We have to do better. Protect yourselves and each other. The lives of black gay men matter.

Book Review: No One In The World by E. Lynn Harris & RM Johnson

2011-08-03T09:52:00.005-04:00

The world lost an incredibly gifted author when E. Lynn Harris transitioned in 2009, but fortunately for his fans, Harris left behind a trove of finished and unfinished work to delight his audience for years to come. No One In The World, his most recent novel is a collaboration with Harris protege' RM Johnson, a respected and gifted writer in his own right. Johnson accepted the task of completing "World" after a draft was found on Harris' computer after his death. This collaboration turns out one of the most dramatic and captivating page turners in recent memory from the E. Lynn Harris collection.

No One In The World centers around the life of Cobi Winslow, a handsome, well educated district attorney, who knows nothing about the life of his estranged twin brother Eric Reed, a career criminal raised in the foster care system. Following their parents death, Cobi searches for and finds his brother, hoping to regain lost years. Meanwhile, Cobi navigates the pressures of society as he lives life in the closet. The stress comes to a head when he learns that in order to inherit the wealth of his father's estate and save the struggling family business,he must marry a woman before he turns thirty-five.

And that's where the drama begins.

Harris & Johnson have skillfully created complex leading and supporting characters with their own individual stories that pull the reader in from the first page. It's next to impossible not to become emotionally invested in the journeys of Cobi Winslow and his don't ask, don't tell love affair with a conservative state Senator, or his abrasive and powerful sister Sissy, who is hellbent on saving the family business, or the parental drama between twin brother Eric Reed and his baby's mother. And if that isn't enough drama to keep you interested (although it is) throw in sex (both homo and hetero), greed, extortion, and murder.

Image: Project Q Atlanta

There is a lot going on in No One In The World and I loved every page of it! It's one of those books that you'll have a hard time putting down once you start. Harris and Johnson nailed this one! And there's a sequel in the works. I can't wait.

Have you read No One In The World? Tell me about it. If you haven't then pick it up at bookstores everywhere or online here.

Watch: 1st NAACP LGBT Town Hall Discussion

2011-08-01T13:04:00.004-04:00

Last week the NAACP hosted it's first ever town hall discussion on LGBT issues in the black community at their annual convention in Los Angeles. The discussion was moderated by newly out CNN anchor Don Lemon and panelists included civil rights legend Julian Bond, actress/comedienne Wanda Sykes, filmmaker Patrik-Ian Polk, scholar and activist Kenyon Farrow, Spelman College professor Beverly Guy Shefall, and NAACP President Benjamin Jealous.

Our friends at No More Down Low TV was present at the discussion and has posted the only video currently available of the discussion despite most of the sessions from the convention being available on NAACP's official website.

The exchange turned heated when NAACP President Benjamin Jealous was confronted by Earnest Winborne, creator of No More Down Low TV about the anti-gay rhetoric of NAACP board member Rev. Keith Ratliff. Ratliff, an Iowa minister is famous for asking the LGBT community to "stop hi-jacking the civil rights movement."

The town hall discussion also came under fire from members of the transgender community for excluding transgender voices from the panel.

Watch No More Down Low TV's report in the clip below.

WATCH: "SLOW": A Short Film by Darius Clark Monroe

2011-07-28T13:14:00.003-04:00

Check out "SLOW" the latest short from filmmaker Darius Clark Monroe. SLOW is gaining quite a buzz on the independent film circuit and has been met with rave reviews and academic and moral critiques online. SLOW definitely has people talking.

The logline: 26yo, DDF, 5' 11", 185 fit. 7 cut. Vers. Looking to host now. 420 is cool. Send a face pic.

That pretty much sums up what the film is about. Or does it? Monroe leaves many unanswered questions at the end of the thirteen minute film and herein lies the beauty of it. Carlton Byrd and Harvey Gardner Moore star in this two person short film and also share writing credits with Monroe.

Get into the film below and be sure to let me know your thoughts. SLOW is NSFW and contains strong language and nudity.

SLOW from Darius Clark Monroe on Vimeo.

Bishop Eddie Long's Fifth Accuser & The Blind Sheep of New Birth

2011-07-28T12:33:00.004-04:00

Centinio Kemp becomes the fifth accuser in the Bishop Eddie Long sexual coercion scandal. Fox Atlanta tracked down Kemp at a local recording studio and attempted to ask him about his relationship with Long to which he replied "no comment". Kemp is later seen running from the cameras to seek refuge in a stretch limousine.

Now normally I'd go into detail about the case against Bishop Long and his long history of homophobia but it's all becoming so redundant. I really wish Long and his "ministry" would just disappear, but the blind sheep of New Birth will never let that happen. The good Bishop is God on earth for those damn fools. Was that too harsh? Watch the two clips below and you'll see what I mean.

Bishop Eddie Long Had Fifth Accuser in Sexual Misconduct Lawsuit: MyFoxATLANTA.com

Members of Bishop Long's Church React to Report: MyFoxATLANTA.com

WATCH: Broadway & The Cast of HAIR Celebrate NY Marriage Equality

2011-07-26T09:44:00.003-04:00

Photo credit: Kevin Thomas Garcia

The Broadway cast of HAIR celebrated New York's new marriage equality law by hosting the weddings of three couples onstage after Sunday's evening. performance.

Tony nominated actor Colman Domingo officiated the ceremonies of Finian's Rainbow and upcoming Follies actress Terri White, who wed jewelry designer Donna Barnett, actor Ryan Dietz and playwright Josh Levine, a staffer at the Theater Communications Group, and lastly, Broadway stage doorman John Raymond Barker and Jujamcyn usher and Jared Pike, according to broadwayworld.com.

You may recall reading about Terri White's remarkable story of going from homeless to Broadway on loldarian.com back in 2009. See all of the photos from the wedding on broadwayworld.com. Congrats to the happy couples!

Watch the ceremony in the video below:

WATCH: Out Artist Tim'm West in "A Real Man"

2011-07-26T09:02:00.003-04:00

Openly gay artist Tim'm West brings us his latest video for the first single off his new album Fly Brotha. "A Real Man" deals with complexity of dating as a gay man of color and whether or not to display public affection.

The video tackles this issue head on as West is clearly more comfortable with his sexuality than his co-star/partner as the dialogue in the beginning shows. What does it take to be a real man? Should a non-heterosexual man who is unafraid to display public affection towards his same gender partner be considered a "real man"?

These are all questions West's co-star grapples with and undoubtedly many black gay men who haven't fully embraced their total humanity. A consummate artist, West delivers an infectious and smooth song as the soundtrack to a slice of life that because of homophobia many of us are sadly still acquainted with.

Get into A Real Man by Tim'm West featuring Quentin Adams in the video below. You can purchase Fly Brotha here.

WATCH:The Grio Profiles 20 Year Courtship of NY Newlyweds Joe Pressley & Steven Williams

2011-07-25T10:06:00.004-04:00

Joe Pressley & Steven Williams are making it official after twenty years together thanks to New York's new marriage equality law that went into effect on yesterday. The Grio has a moving piece on their two decade relationship complete with video.

From The Grio:

The Williams-Pressley marriage festivities will start when the men pick up their licenses on Monday and will conclude during a private ceremony, on Saturday, at a Italian restaurant in Harlem. The non-traditional African-American couple will host a non-traditional ceremony, witnessed by more than a hundred family and friends.

"It is not a formal affair, we want folks to be comfortable, we want them to come and have fun, its about fun and its about celebration," said Williams. "I think I am going to wear a blue blazer, a shirt and some slacks, and call it a day. It's a really simple ceremony."

Although the couple have won the fight for equality with the state, they have not been as successful at winning recognition from their entire family. Pressley's mother will not attend the nuptials because she refuses to accept a marriage between two men. Although he is hurt by his mother's disapproval, Pressley understands her decision to miss what will be the most important day in her son's life.

"As much as it hurts my mom not being there it is also just a joy to look at the family that I have been able to construct, my family of origin and my family of friends who will be there to celebrate with me," he said.

Watch The Grio's video report on Pressley & Williams below. The comment section on The Grio's website is filled with disgustingly anti-gay remarks about the couple. Feel free to counter the message of hate with love and well-wishes for the couple. Congrats guys!

WATCH: Patrik-Ian Polk's "The Skinny" Trailer

2011-07-19T12:22:00.004-04:00

Here's your first look at images and the trailer for Patrik-Ian Polk's new film "The Skinny." Polk is the award winning director and creator of the groundbreaking black gay TV series Noah's Arc as well as the feature film Noah's Arc: Jumping The Broom.

THE SKINNY tells the story of five Brown University classmates who reunite one year after graduation for Gay Pride weekend in New York City. Magnus has just completed his first year of medical school and is excited to see his friends & introduce them to his new man, Ryan. Angelic Sebastian has recently returned from a year in Paris and looks forward to finally losing his virginity. Devilish trustafarian playboy Kyle is up to his old tricks, bagging as many hot bodied men as possible. Atlanta native Joey is hiding a few secrets, not including the obvious pounds he's packed on since graduating. And acid-tongued black British lesbian Langston tries to hold her own with the boys in the Big Apple. Through three action-packed days of sex, drama, secrets, lies & laughter- these five college pals discover just how much can change in one short year. And you won't believe what goes down at the Gay Pride Parade!

The cast includes Anthony Burrell, Jussie Smollett, Blake Young-Fountain, and British actress Shanika Warren-Markland.

Fans of Polk's work will be delighted to see some familiar faces in The Skinny. Noah's Arc alums Darryl Stephens, Jennia Fredrique, and Wilson Cruz all make appearances. The fabulous B. Scott as well as poet Bassey Ikpi, Derrick L. Briggs, and Ricky Day can also be seen in the trailer.

The Skinny is scheduled to hit theaters Labor Day weekend 2011. LEGGO!!!

Watch the trailer below:

Black Enterprise Magazine Explores Being Black & Transgender

2011-07-19T09:05:00.004-04:00

As a part of it's month long look into the lives of black LGBT professionals, Black Enterprise Magazine explores what it means to be both black and transgender in America through eyes of Tiq Milan. Milan was biologically born female but later transitioned to male.

From Black Enterprise Magazine:

Some may recognize Tiq Milan from MTV’s 2007 reality series, I’m From Rolling Stone, where several aspiring writers competed for a chance to win a full-time position with the entertainment magazine. Back then, he still went by his birth name, Tika, and responded to “she.” Today, however, the education specialist/HIV prevention counselor and editor-in-chief of IKONS Magazine, a LGBT lifestyle publication, lives life as a transgendered man.

You may also remember Milan from the David Barclay Moore documentary "Realness", featured on loldarian.com in 2008. Transgender people are almost never understood by those outside of the LGBT community and are often marginalized, sadly there's still a lot of education that needs to be done even within the gay community about the lives of transgender people.

Watch Milan break it down in the Black Enterprise clip here.

WATCH: Rev. Aaron Wade & Job Jones Wed in DC

2011-07-12T14:44:00.005-04:00

Washington D.C.-based comedian and activist and friend to loldarian.com Sampson McCormick brings the beautiful nuptials of Rev. Aaron Wade and Job Jones to our attention. The couple were legally married last Saturday at The Community Church of Washington, DC after four years together in front of a packed church filled with family and friends.

McCormick went behind the scenes of their special day for his YouTube show Sampson TV and interviewed the two grooms who shared the keys to the success of their relationship.

"Communication is the key," says Rev. Wade. "If you're going to be with a person forever you've gotta be able to say, look this is how I feel, or hey I like it when you do this. Most folks don't even communicate what they like or don't like. Communication really is the key to a successful relationship, even when your partner is getting on your nerves. Communication is the key."

Rev. Wade's younger brother, who was a part of the wedding party and identifies as heterosexual was also on hand to share his thoughts on his older brother's coming out and marriage.

"Growing up it was difficult, but after he broke it down to me about how he felt and why it happened this way and why he feels this way, it was like...wow. How can you not accept it?" It feels amazing to watch my big brother coming down the aisle."

It was even more amazing to see a community of African-American folks show up to support the love of these two amazing same-gender loving people.

"For folks who are not necessarily in favor of same-gender loving people you have to give them time to come in to you coming out, says Rev. Wade.

This is another example of the diversity and acceptance of LGBT people within the black community that is rarely on display and a side of black love that often goes unreported, this blog being the exception. Congrats to the happy couple!

Watch Sampson McCormick's A Celebration of Black Men In Love: A Gay Wedding below:

You can also watch the full wedding ceremony via UStream here.

Introducing Brotherhood TV: A New Web Talk Show for Gay & Bisexual Men of Color

2011-07-08T13:54:00.006-04:00

This is a perfect example of gay and bisexual men of color taking the initiative to create a platform to tell our stories and create visibility.

Loldarian.com is thrilled to introduce you to Brotherhood TV, a new web talk show set to debut on July 11 on bortherhoodtv.com. Brotherhood TV is hosted by 6 uniquely different young Black and Latino Gay and Bisexual men from the Boston area, who share their voices and give a face to the thousands of young Black and Latino Gay and Bisexual men who go un-heard.

Loldarian.com was granted an advanced screening of the debut episode and the incredibly talented, intelligent, and opinionated group of men did not disappoint. The 45 minute show tackled topics ranging from marriage equality, homophobia, societal expectations around gender identity & expression, to the dynamics of same-sex dating when there is an age difference between two partners.

Co-Creator and Co-Host of Brotherhood TV, Amir, tells loldarian.com why the show is so timely and necessary.“There are constantly studies released about us and it is time that we speak up and share our voices. As a young black gay man I am the epitome of all things society hates; I am a feminist who is the decedent of slaves and who is gay. I fearlessly celebrate who I am. My goal through this show is to let other young Black and Latino Gay and Bisexual men know that they are beautifully made, and that it is imperative that they stand in their truth. But above all it is important that they know they aren’t alone.”

Amen.

Brotherhood TV debuts online on July 11th with new episodes to follow every Monday. Follow the cast on Twitter and Facebook.

Meet the cast in the sneak peek video below:

UPDATE: The first episode of Brotherhood TV has been added below:

GMHC Urges Gay Men Of Color To "Kiss & Tell"

2011-07-08T12:58:00.003-04:00

The latest campaign from New York- based Gay Men's Health Crisis urging gay men of color to be proactive about their sexual health as it relates to the increase in new HIV/AIDS infections among men who have sex with men.

"Kiss & Tell" encourages black and Latino young men who have sex with men (YMSM) to have open and loving discussions with partners (the people that they are kissing) about their sexual history and HIV status. The campaign was developed in partnership with young men, ages 13 to 19, who participate in GMHC's new youth leadership-development program, CLUB1319. The program provides HIV prevention education, social networking, skills training, and opportunities to participate in developing social marketing campaigns such as "Kiss & Tell."

The concept originated out of the former and homophobic "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy which prohibited gay or bisexual people from disclosing their sexual orientation or speaking about same-sex relationships, while serving in the U.S. armed forces. The youth wanted a campaign that spoke the opposite of this policy-while featuring intimacy and what is possible for young gay couples as they express trust, respect and commitment for one another.

Marjorie Hill, Executive Officer of GMHC tells loldarian.com that "the campaign directly challenges homophobia, and acknowledges the value of relationships in the lives of young gay men while encouraging dialogue."

"This campaign reinforces GMHC's ongoing commitment--since our earliest days--to addressing homophobia and reducing the spread of HIV among gay men,"adds Hill.

The "Kiss and Tell" campaign has been printed in various education materials and will appear in phone kiosks throughout Manhattan in July. You may recall seeing the LGBT affirming "I Love My Boo" campaign created by GMHC on loldarian.com in the past. We applaud GMHC for continuing the fight against HIV/AIDS in the community hardest hit and with messaging that resonates.

First Look: Black Enterprise "Black & Gay In Corporate America" Issue

2011-07-07T12:31:00.003-04:00

Here's your first look at the new cover for Black Enterprise magazine's Black & Gay In Corporate America issue. The professional African-American mag is heralding the cover as "historic." Writer Sonia Alleyne is forthright about the potential controversy looming over the article and the difficult time she and her staff had finding black gays and lesbians who were willing to be featured in the piece.

From Black Enterprise Magazine:

We’re not going to pretend this was an easy topic for Black Enterprise to consider. Let’s face it—the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community is one of which our society whispers, mocks, ignores, and, in extreme cases, vehemently rejects. For Black members of this community, the emotional backlash can be even more intense. Editor-at-Large Carolyn M. Brown and I spent months producing this feature. Due to the topic’s controversial nature, we had some difficulty finding subjects. Even some of those who agreed to participate in our cover story, “Black and Gay in Corporate America,” felt some trepidation about how revealing their sexual orientation would affect relationships with family, friends, and associates outside the workplace.

Kudos to Black Enterprise for taking on this story. Check out a preview of Black & Gay In Corporate America here.

It's ironic that this preview hit on the same day that a new study on African-Americans and religion was released that shows blacks are the most religious in the United States. It's an ugly tie that binds.

WATCH: When Love Takes Over: The 3LWTV Interview

2011-07-02T09:42:00.003-04:00

The promo continues for my new book When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the amazing host and friend to loldarian.com Lonnell Williams of 3LWTV. Two years have passed since I was last a guest on 3LWTV so we had a lot of catching up to do. We talk in-depth about the book as well as current events (i.e Eddie Long and his "spiritual sons") and Lonnell makes a surprising confession.

This is definitely one you want to watch in it's entirety. Many thanks to my dear friend Lonnell for having me back on the show. I had a blast!

Get into the interview in the video below. Order your copy of When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color here.

WATCH: Darian Aaron Speaks on Literary Debut with Blogger Andre Allen

2011-06-28T12:19:00.004-04:00

During a trip to New York City last month I had the pleasure of being interviewed by my friend and fellow blogger Andre Allen of Andresflava, prior to the release of my literary debut: When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color. We chat about the process of writing the book, the inspiration behind it and current black gay events.

I'm extremely proud of this book and I'm so appreciative of all the people who have supported it since it's release earlier this month. Get into our interview below and be sure to order your copy if you haven't already.

Order When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color here:

iUniverse.com

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble.com

Borders.com

ATL: Outwrite Bookstore In store & Online

Congratulations New York!

2011-06-25T10:02:00.004-04:00

The New York Senate approved marriage equality in the Empire State with a vote of 33-29 with bipartisan support.

Today’s decision is about New York’s loving and committed gay and lesbian couples who want to make a lifelong promise to love and take care of each other and their families. Marriage equality in New York allows them to do just that. -GLAAD

Happy Pride!

WATCH: Out CNN Anchor Don Lemon Discusses New Memoir, Black Gay Men, & Religious Bigotry

2011-06-23T10:49:00.007-04:00

Image: Project Q Atlanta

Openly gay CNN anchor Don Lemon made an appearance at Outwrite Bookstore in Atlanta last night in support of his new memoir Transparent. Lemon spoke to a packed and enthusiastic crowd in Atlanta's gay district. Lemon took questions from the audience after speaking candidly about the process of writing Transparent, his decision to come out and the reaction of family, friends, and fans. One particular question gave Lemon the opportunity to discuss black gay men, the black gay community, and the religious bigotry that exists in the church around homosexuality.

I had the opportunity to speak with Lemon briefly and he was just as warm and engaging as I thought he'd be. He also left with a copy of my new book: When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color.

Get into his response in the video below:

The Wait Is Over: When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color Debuts

2011-06-06T09:30:00.004-04:00

“The love shared between eighteen black same-gender loving couples emerges out of the shadows and into the light. The time has come for black love to be recognized in its totality…and the time is now.”

I am thrilled to announce that the book that caused my long hiatus from the blog last year is now available for purchase. When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color is based on the popular Coupled Up series from loldarian.com and exclusively profiles eighteen African-American gay couples who are in committed long-term relationships. The couples detail how they met, their journey towards self-acceptance, liberation and ultimately how they fell in love and maintain their relationships. All the while defying the myth that two black men are incapable of loving each other for a lifetime.

The arrival of this book is timely and necessary. The gay and mainstream media has largely ignored black same-gender loving men who have formed nurturing and long-term relationships, even worse; the love shared between these brave men have often been met with hostility from individuals within their own community. But finally, the diversity that exists within both the African-American and gay communities are laid out in the pages of “When Love Takes Over” for the entire world to see.

Early buzz for When Love Takes Over:

What is so powerful about black love is its strength, beauty, and power. Darian has done a superb job in showcasing this with his amazing images of black gay love in this fantastic and prolific book, When Love Takes Over. What a wonderful tribute in celebrating ‘us’ and showing ‘us’ what it looks like, and how it can be done! – Terrance Dean, best-selling author Hiding In Hip Hop; Straight FromYour Gay Best Friend; Reclaim Your Power; and Visible Lives

“When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color is a first of its kind, celebrating an overlooked group in the LGBT community. However, its focus of love transcends race and sexuality, people from all backgrounds can appreciate the book’s sincerity and storytelling.”-Clay Cane Journalist, BET

"Because Black SGL men are often depicted as only being worthy of attention and affection if we are desired by or partnered with white gay men-not to mention demonized as Black America's sexual boogeymen-I was tickled to tears flipping through When Love Takes Over. I count some of the couples profiled as close friends and spiritual brothers, and have even witnessed them exchanging vows. No matter how ling they've been together, no matter how many years may separate them, and no matter what trials they've had to endure, the message is always the same and one we should never forget; loving each other is not only a natural thing, it's a beautiful thing."-James Earl Hardy, author of the bestselling B-Boy Blues series

Watch When Love Takes Over cover models Seanmichael and Damien Rodgers in their Coupled Up video below:

Order When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color here:

iUniverse.com

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble.com

Borders.com

In Atlanta: Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse (Available in-store and online)

An Interview with "The Bad Seed" Author Lee Hayes

2011-06-05T08:57:00.000-04:00

I recently had the pleasure of chatting it up with black gay author Lee Hayes. Hayes is one of my favorite authors in the African-American gay fiction genre. He has just released his latest novel The Bad Seed which has only cemented my love affair with his incredible talent.

The Bad Seed is composed of two novellas or short stories in one novel. "I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues" is about a cosmetically beautiful but emotionally damaged young man who marries a wealthy older man to go from rags to riches. After beginning an illicit affair with his husband's attorney, he decides that he would rather enjoy the amenities of limitless money minus the husband. He will stop at nothing to see his husband six feet under so that he can dance on his grave, toasting with expensive champagne.

In "Crazy In Love", a hyper-sexual seventeen-year-old high school boy develops a fatalistic crush on his reclusive high school English teacher. When the teacher rebuff's the boy's advances, all hell breaks loose-and the upstanding teacher's life is put on the line. Hell hath no fury...

Hayes and I talked about the inspiration for the book, what sets his work apart from others in his genre, and the creation of the two leading characters Blues and Brandon.

Darian: What was your inspiration for The Bad Seed?

Lee: I think I was really intrigued by creating a story about characters typically you wouldn't like. I wanted to explore the darker side of things. And as we know in life sometimes you run across some bad seeds, and they have stories just like everyone else. I was really interested in writing a story about them because sometimes the bad seed wins.

Darian: You've explored murder and fatal obsession before in some of your previous novels like The Messiah. Do you find these themes fascinating to write about?

Lee: When it comes to gay literature I don't like to write about the same common themes. Down-low and coming out stories have their place but I think it's been done a lot. I think there's so many things we can write about as gay authors. I personally kinda tilt on the darker side of things. I've always been a horror movie buff, so I think my writing tends to explore the darker side of literature.

Darian: What was your process for creating the two protagonists Blues and Brandon in The Bad Seed?

Lee: Well I don't want you to think I'm crazy or I'm murderous (Laughs) but you really have to become your character. You really have to put yourself in the mindset of this character and really become this person and think and feel as they would. Sometimes it's difficult for writers to do that, but in order to create realistic characters writers have to have that ability or the story will suffer.

Darian: You dedicated the book to anyone who has ever been misunderstood. Do you think the characters Blues and Brandon and people like them are often misunderstood?

Lee: To a certain extent I think we're all misunderstood. No one will ever completely know us the way we know ourselves. Blues went through some pretty bad stuff as a child and he did some bad things as well. Moving from adolescence in to adulthood and marrying his husband...he clearly lost his way. Instead of taking the time to get the help he needed to deal with his issues he chose a different route. Even with Brandon, he has a lot of issues that I don't even think he understands.

Darian: Is there anything in particular that you want readers to take away from The Bad Seed or your work in general?

Lee: Generally speaking I want to provide people with an outlet to step away from the world to have a good time and to be entertained. All of my novels have been very gay centered and when people read my books I want them to really start seeing gay people as a part of the world. I hate using the word normal because it's just a terrible word. Being gay is just as normal as anything else. I tend not to make it a big deal in my books because some people are gay and some people are not. It's just that simple.

Darian: How can people purchase a copy of The Bad Seed?

Lee: If readers want an autographed copy they can get it from my website, www. leehayes.info. It's also available at B. Dalton, Barnes & Noble, Amazon and pretty much wherever books are sold.

The Bad Seed is definitely one to be included on your summer reading list. It's a page turner!

Media Maven B. Scott in New Music Video "Kiss Kiss"

2011-06-03T12:32:00.003-04:00

Apparently there's no stopping B. Scott. The openly gay internet sensation is venturing into music with his latest single and video "Kiss Kiss". The sexy video for the 90's inspired dance track is a throwback to days gone by. One listen will take you back to partying at the now defunct Limelight nightclub in New York City.

In his usual fashion, B. Scott blurs the lines between male and female and ramps up his androgynous beauty and the jewelry in Kiss Kiss. Get into the video and his sexy co-star in the clip below. You better work B!

Are Black Gay Circuit Parties A Hotbed for HIV?

2011-06-02T16:30:00.000-04:00

Image: Lonnell Williams

Our latest article appearing in Miami's mPower Magazine.

As the winter months disappear and summer approaches, the change in weather provides the perfect opportunity to strip off all the layers and wear as little as possible as you revel in the compliments of both male and female admirers as they fawn over your chiseled physique. There’s a list of beach parties, cookouts, and annual events on your calendar and none of it will start until you arrive. Your biggest dilemma is making sure your chosen wardrobe for the weekend will turn heads the minute you step out of your hotel room-pardon me-your suite. You’re black, gay, single, sexy, and free and you have a plethora of choices, from the breathtaking beaches of Miami and the sexy men of Sizzle, to the sinful allure of Tempted 2 Touch in Las Vegas, to the exotic island of the Dominican Republic, home of Inferno DR. Everything you could possibly want in a vacation experience and more is at your fingertips; men, sex, drugs, alcohol and HIV, an undesirable party favor but available nonetheless.

Black gay circuit parties have long held a reputation for offering more than is appropriate to be placed on advertisements. The organized and costly events taking place during the day may be a draw for some, but the prospect of experiencing multiple sexual encounters over the course of the weekend is at the top of the “to do list” for many attendees. It should be understood that with any large gathering of people the opportunity to engage in sexual intercourse is always present, besides we are sexual beings with a desire to connect on an intimate level. But with every unprotected sexual encounter there’s a risk of being infected with a sexually transmitted disease, and in the case of black gay men who are heavily impacted by HIV, circuit parties catering to this population can easily become a hotbed for transmission. Well, at least that’s one theory.

“Information about safe sex is ubiquitous now…having fun does not equal risking your life,” says Atlanta resident Jon Rico.

Access to accurate information about HIV transmission may be easier to find thirty years into the epidemic, but when you add condom fatigue, complacency, and an environment conducive to a more relaxed approach towards safe sex the results can be detrimental.

“People need to take responsibility for their own actions and protect themselves,” says long-time Sizzle attendee Daniel Hudson. “Circuit organizers should not be held responsible for the promiscuity of their patrons.” But there is also a point of view held by an increasingly growing number of people who believe promoters should take as much of an interest in prevention as they do their bottom line.

Dwight Powell, CEO of Sizzle Miami, the largest circuit party catering to black gay and bisexual men annually over Memorial Day Weekend, rejects the idea that promoters should play dual roles as party planners and prevention specialists.

“I realized a long time ago that it’s difficult to not only take on the much needed task of HIV prevention at Sizzle, but also to do it well. I have resolved to the fact that this important task should be taken on by agencies that do this type of work all day every day,” says Powell.

“Sizzle Miami has always partnered with Empower U, a non-profit agency here in Miami steadily at work in the fight against the disease,” Powell adds.

While efforts to curb new infections across the board are imperative and should continue until a cure is found, a flaw of human beings to blame external forces for what plagues us is perhaps more of a distraction than the solution we so desperately need.

Michael Slaughter, CEO of Inclusivity Inc., a Georgia based company that provides outdoor retreats for gay men of color shares a similar mindset. “Circuit parties just concentrate the existing issues in one place making it appear to be a source when in fact it’s not. Individual fear of rejection and starvation for affection are more likely to cause individuals to make unsafe choices than circuit parties themselves.”

This is a theory that is worth exploring. It’s been said that a barrier towards reducing new HIV infections in black gay men revolves around the issue of self-worth. If one isn’t strong enough to reject the negative messages spewed from the heterosexual black community of gays as hell-bound abominations, chances are that individual will be less likely to use a condom consistently, if at all, since he believes his life had little or no value to begin with. Therein lies the root of the problem that is often overlooked when discussing the effects of circuit parties on HIV. The latter appears to only be a symptom of the more widespread diseases of homophobia and low self- esteem, which drives black gay men to engage in self-destructive behavior in spite of the risks.

As cliché’ as it sounds we are our brother’s keeper. And while it shouldn’t be expected to make personal decisions for adults regarding their individual sexual health, we must begin to love each other and ourselves past fleeting orgasms and meaningless sexual encounters. The euphoria of circuit parties is only temporary, but the decisions we make in the heat of the moment are permanent. Will you be able to live with your decision once the party ends?

WATCH: Fade In: Inspiring Stories of Homeless LGBTQ Youth

2011-06-02T12:57:00.005-04:00

Novo Novus Productions home of the hit web series Drama Queenz brings us a new web series Fade In: Inspiring Stories of Homeless LGBTQ Youth.

From Novo Novus:

The series is designed not only to bring awareness to the fact that 35-40% of runaway or homeless youth in New York identify as being LGBTQ, but also to provide & promote a positive light forward for teens struggling with their identities due to personal, social, and familial factors.

Each episode of FADE IN is 5 minutes and is based around a different virtue (e.g. beauty, acceptance, compassion, faith), with several youth discussing an uplifting story that relates to said virtue Through smiles and laughter, tears and heartbreak, these touching tales shine a light on the truths of those forced to live in darkness.

“The Novo Novus team was deeply troubled to learn that LGBTQ youth are disproportionately affected by homelessness in the U.S.,” says FADE IN Executive Producer Dane Joseph to loldarian.com. “We wanted to give these young people a unique voice in a way that both inspires action and confirms their worth.”

Watch the trailer and first episode of Fade In below:

HeMeetsHim: Online Dating for Black Gay Men: The Anti BGC/ A4A?

2011-06-02T11:00:00.004-04:00

How many times have you logged on to websites created specifically for black gay men only to be turned off by their overt sexual nature and a virtual environment dismissive of establishing meaningful relationships? I'm sure many of you have even tossed around the idea of creating a website with your BFF's that would offer something different than what is currently available to gay men of color. Well, HeMeetsHim.com aims to be just what many of you who are single have been looking for. I call it the anti BGC/A4A.

In an interview with Black Gay Men's Blog, 26 year-old Victor, creator of HeMeetsHim.com explains why he decided to create the site.

"I had been having conversations with friends about how hard it was to meet people in this lifestyle, who weren’t just about sex and who wanted healthy relationships and so I started doing some research online(because everyone is online on social networking and dating sites), to see what was out there. I realized there was nothing for people like me, who aren’t solely sexually driven. All we have are the Adams, BGCs and Men4Nows – nothing really for those looking for relationships. With the high rates of HIV and STDs in our community, I think it is important to have another option, so we are not saying to young black gay men, that casual sex is all this lifestyle is about. And so HeMeetsHim was born."

So I'm sure you're wondering what sets HeMeetsHim.com apart from those other sites. Here's your answer:

"If you want to hook-up, those sites will always be available, but if you want something solid and substantial, that’s where my site comes into play. I’m trying to target those who are looking to date and build and fall in love, that aspect of dating, not just the sex, but also intimacy, where there is an emotional connection to the other person."

HeMeetsHim.com is free to join but also offers premium features that require a subscription. You can check out the site by clicking here or on the HeMeetsHim.com banner on the right side of the blog. Here's to a new era in online black gay dating. Tell a friend.

WATCH: "Far Away" The Church Version

2011-06-02T10:04:00.004-04:00

This is amazing. Atlanta based vocalist and producer Erik Dillard has created his own version of Marsha Ambrosius critically acclaimed video "Far Away". Ambrosius took the bold step to address homophobia and suicide in the black community on a national stage when she showed a relationship between two black gay men and one partner's ultimate demise in the groundbreaking video.

Dillard has taken Ambrosius vision a step further by introducing what he calls "church hurt" into his video. The black church, the epicenter of black life has become a source of visceral pain for those who identify as LGBT. Dillard masterfully tells the story of many black LGBT people who have suffered spiritual abuse from the church because of their sexual orientation.

The views for Dillard's version are increasing daily and people are having passionate responses similar to Ambrosius version.

TheKarkay says: "This video is exactly the Truth of the matter. What I find interesting is many that are involved in the behavior are upset that light is being shed on them. This is not about blaming the church. Hello! We are the church! This is not down low but low down behavior. If Church leadership preaching in the name of Jesus would do what Jesus did- not condemn anyone- but welcome everyone. Maybe just maybe folks wouldn't hide and be ashamed. Keep on doing what you're doing I'm with you."

Watch Far Away (The Church Version) below and be sure to share it with your friends and family.

"I'm Gay" Rapper Lil B Forges Ahead with Controversial Album;Blogger Gyant & Author Terrance Dean Respond

2011-06-01T14:41:00.007-04:00

I bet many of you had never even heard of rapper Lil B prior to his decision to name his upcoming album "I'm Gay." The rapper broke the news back in April onstage at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival. The self-identified heterosexual,who denies being gay, says he hopes his album title serves as a lesson in tolerance in order to show people that “words don’t mean s**t.”

Many people are skeptical about Lil B's motives including The Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD). “As a lyricist, Lil B knows that words matter. Slurs have the power to fuel intolerance. We hope that Lil B’s album title is not just a gimmick, and is really a sincere attempt to be an ally. He has the platform and the voice. We hope he uses it in a positive way.”

In recent days CNN has examined the growing controversy surrounding Lil B's album title. Gavin Godfrey hosts a discussion with openly gay hip-hop blogger and good friend Gyant (GyantUnplugged), who recently came out via Twitter and openly gay author Terrance Dean (Hiding in Hip-Hop) on a CNN podcast. Listen here.

Gyant on Lil B: "If you're really saying you want to bridge the gaps then I want to see you perform at Bulldogs or some gay club. I wanna see you marching in support of gay rights. I wanna see you involved in the gay community. If I don't see any of that then your actions are not backing up your words. Therefore, it means nothing. Therefore, you are simply trying to sell an album."

Terrance Dean believes that Lil B's motives are sincere. " I think that he is genuinely sincere. He wants to bridge the LGBT community and the black and brown communities together and create this dialogue to show the dangers of homophobia and what it has created."

Lil B tells CNN that following the announcement to name his album "I'm Gay" he received death threats.

"Mainly, a lot of them are on Twitter, saying that they're going to kill me for being gay, and they're going to kill me for being homosexual even though I'm not homosexual. I don't like men. They're saying they're going to bash my head in. They're calling me f-----. That's all right, because I did this with the pure intention in my heart to help people, and I didn't do this for promotional reasons. I did because there needs to be someone brave enough to do it, brave enough to speak up and have the right reasonings of doing it."

Civil Unions Begin In Chicago; Black Lesbian Couple First In Line

2011-06-01T10:05:00.005-04:00

Civil union licences are officially available today to gay and lesbian couples in Chicago after legislation passed last December granting gay and lesbian couples most of the benefits of marriage through the "marriage-lite" institution.

According to @cookcountyclerk, black lesbian couple Lakeesha Harris and Janean Watkins of Chicago were first in line at midnight to receive their license. The perks of being first in line: the couple will avoid paying the thirty dollar fee and will receive a gift bag. However, they will have to wait a day before they can engage in a public ceremony.

Watch a local news report in the clip below via The Chicago Tribune. View a photo slide show of many of the first couples granted civil unions here. Congrats ladies!

Watch: A Gay Man and Two Pastors Debate

2011-05-27T14:55:00.003-04:00

D.C. comedian and activist Sampson McCormick is continuing to use his platform to confront homophobia and dispel myths regarding gay and lesbian people in the African-American community. You may remember the touching mother's day video McCormick recorded with his mother that was featured on loldarian.com earlier this month. In his latest video, McCormick interviews Reggie and Dorine Jackson, a married pastoral team who shares a very different opinion regarding homosexuality.

"It's beginning to spread and people are beginning to accept it," says Reggie Jackson when asked for his opinion about homosexuality in the black church.

The Jacksons (not to be confused with superstar family) don't stray from the conflicting conservative idea of "love the sinner but hate the sin", but they even take it a step further and expound on their belief that the cause of homosexuality is due to "gay demons." Now this is when I had to turn the video off and return later to finish. Kudos to McCormick for being able to continue the interview and to all involved for handling such a divisive topic from a mature and calm place.

Money quote from McCormick: "Some black people are so spiritual until they're just no earthly good."

Get into the interview below. Thoughts?

h/t SGL Weekly

Watch:B. SLADE Shuts Down Out Music Awards with Sylvester Tribute

2011-05-24T11:34:00.001-04:00

The Out Music Awards were held in New York City last night celebrating the best in music by openly gay artists. The city and my twitter feed were all a buzz after the performance by friend to loldarian.com B. Slade (formerly Tonex'). Slade performed "Mighty Real", a high energy tribute to the late disco diva Sylvester and brought the house down!

B. Slade's newest album "Diesel" will be released on June 19 and New York City fans were treated to a special listening party and performance at Billie's Black in Harlem over the weekend. Loldarian.com was in attendance and brings you a clip from this standing room only appearance. His last name is appropriate because he SLAYS every time he steps on stage!

Get into the magic and the madness that is B. Slade below!

People.com Editor Janet Mock Comes Out As Transgender in Marie Claire

2011-05-24T10:35:00.002-04:00

A very important story was overlooked by much of the blogosphere and the mainstream media last week during the very high profile coming out of CNN anchor Don Lemon. Janet Mock, a web editor and writer for People.com revealed to colleagues and the world last week that she is transgender. A native Hawaiian, born to an African-American father and a Hawaiian mother as a little boy named Charles, Mock revealed her story in a moving piece in Marie Claire Magazine and recounts her difficulty as a transgender teen.

From Marie Claire

By the end of my freshman year in high school, I was regularly wearing women's clothes to school. But the fallout was swift and merciless. Fag! I can see your balls! The insults reverberated off the lockers and echoed down the school hallways. Though I was never physically threatened and never feared for my safety, the harassment was relentless. Not a moment went by that wasn't accompanied by a taunt, a slur, a cruel reminder that my classmates could not, would not, see me as I saw myself. "You're making people uncomfortable," one vice principal said while he looked me over with disdain. Soon he gave me an ultimatum: Wear a skirt to school again and get sent home for the day. But it was too late to turn back. I liked how I looked as a young woman, even though it meant exposing myself to ridicule. After that, I held my head high as I strode through the hallways in my miniskirts, past the haters who called me a freak, past the teachers who looked on disapprovingly, and past the vice principal who routinely sent me home.

I highly recommend that you click on the Marie Claire link and read Mock's story in it's entirety.She has come a long way since those painful days in high school. Mock has also recorded a video for the It Gets Better Project, you can watch it below.

Watch: Drama Queenz Season 3 Promo

2011-05-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

The boys of the hit YouTube web series Drama Queenz are on their way back! Check out this hilarious promo for season 3 as characters Jeremiah, Preston, and Davis travel back to 1991 to recreate one of the most memorable TV moments from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Actress Janet Hubert-Whitten would be proud. Hold on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Out or In? Son of Baldwin Tackles The Decision To Come Out & The Criticism of Black Men Who Do

2011-05-20T07:35:00.004-04:00

Blogger and friend to loldarian.com Son of Baldwin responds to the highly publicized coming out of CNN anchor Don Lemon and the bitter criticism of Lemon's coming out by activist Cleo Manago. I believe this is worth discussing.

From Son of Baldwin:

I have no evidence of this other than my own experiences, but I tend to believe that black gay men who either criticize or express apathy (or antipathy) toward other gay black men who "come out" are doing so out of one of two things: fear or shame. Or, perhaps, both.

I believe that the black men who aren't out to friends or family feel a kind of pressure to do so when other black gay men come out; they feel implicated and called out by the action of the black gay man who announces himself. In order to resist that force, they try to delegitimize the coming out experience by recasting it as something unnecessary or undesirable; as a sign of weakness or selfishness; as something reserved only for white gay men. They play up the benefits of a heterosexual facade and ridicule those who either cannot or will not maintain the facade.

By viewing "coming out" in this light, those who don't want to come out can feel undisturbed by their decision while simultaneously pretending that their position is the courageous one. But, in fact, it takes no courage at all to pretend to be straight or to completely hide your true sexuality for fear of judgment or violence; it may be convenient, but it isn't brave. It's easy to point at the fellow who comes out, who refuses to abide by fear or the shame inflicted upon him by others, and say, "So? What do you want, a medal?" (Or, in some cases, "Why does he have to draw attention to himself??" by which they mean, "Why does he have to draw attention to me??")

I don't think black gay men who come out want a medal. I think they want to be loved, accepted, and respected for who they are in the same way their heterosexual brothers who announce they're getting married to the woman of their dreams are. The opposition says, of course, that "Sex is a private matter!"

Someone should tell that to all the heterosexual couples who have had incredibly public weddings for the last 2000 years. Because isn't that what a wedding is, at its core: a public announcement of one's romantic and sexual commitments? Why then should only some members of society be entitled to that privilege?

WATCH: Joy Behar Interviews Don Lemon

2011-05-17T09:14:00.003-04:00

Joy Behar had the privilege of scoring the second primetime interview with newly out CNN anchor Don Lemon last night on HLN. Lemon revealed his reasons for coming out, the reaction from co-workers and fans and why it's incredibly difficult to come out in the black community. Not surprisingly, the conversation turned towards the down-low, thankfully Lemon handled the topic perfectly.

In related news, author and activist Herndon Davis reports on the "virtual blackout" regarding Lemon's coming out story in the black press and offers up this question as food for thought:

"If Black America could embrace, accept and defend a convicted dog fighter, a suspected murderer and suspected pedophiles in the name of Michael Vick, OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson and R. Kelly then why could it not further embrace, accept and defend an educated, articulate, highly visible and very successful cable news anchor in the name of Don Lemon? So far black community praise for Don Lemon's coming out has been lukewarm to tepid to say the least. Although lauded within black lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) circles, his monumental step has barely registered a peep on black mainstream media radars."

Watch Don Lemon on The Joy Behar Show in the clip below:

LISTEN: Music From Gay Independent Film "Finding Me: Truth"

2011-05-17T07:30:00.002-04:00

In anticipation of Finding Me:Truth, the sequel to the highly successful indie film Finding Me, comes music from the motion picture soundtrack. Openly gay artists and loldarian.com favorites Nhojj and Marck Angel appear on the soundtrack along with many other gifted musical artists.

Fans of the Finding Me franchise will be happy to know the sequel will be distributed by TLA Releasing and screened in select theaters across the country.

Preview and download the entire soundtrack here. You can also check out the newly released trailer below. Finding Me: Truth DVD's will be available from TLA Releasing in September.

CNN Anchor Don Lemon Breaks His Silence; Comes Out As Gay In New Memoir

2011-05-16T07:10:00.006-04:00

It was a blind item that ran on countless gossip blogs last week, but now CNN Anchor Don Lemon is putting all of the rumors to rest by coming out as gay in his new memoir Transparent in stores on June 16. Lemon will become one of three openly gay anchors on network news along with MSNBC's Rachel Maddow and Thomas Roberts. Lemon shared his very personal decision to disclose his sexuality and why it took him so long during an interview with The New York Times.

The New York Times reports:

Mr. Lemon has not made a secret of his sexual orientation in his work life; many of his CNN co-workers and managers have long been aware that he is gay. But he still acknowledged that going public in his book carries certain risks.

“I’m scared,” he said in a telephone interview. “I’m talking about something that people might shun me for, ostracize me for.”

Even beyond whatever effect his revelation might have on his television career, Mr. Lemon said he recognized this step carried special risk for him as a black man.

“It’s quite different for an African-American male,” he said. “It’s about the worst thing you can be in black culture. You’re taught you have to be a man; you have to be masculine. In the black community they think you can pray the gay away.” He said he believed the negative reaction to male homosexuality had to do with the history of discrimination that still affects many black Americans, as well as the attitudes of some black women.

“You’re afraid that black women will say the same things they do about how black men should be dating black women.” He added, “I guess this makes me a double minority now.”

In a press release Lemon reveals his struggle to tell one of the most important black women in his life about his sexuality-his mother.

"There was a time when I was terrified of revealing these things to the person I love most in this world - my own mother. But when I finally mustered the courage to tell her that I had been molested as a child and that I was born gay, my life began to change in positive ways that I never imagined possible. Yet I still chose to keep those secrets hidden from the world. I, like most gay people, lived a life of fear. Fear that if some employers, co-workers, friends, neighbors and family members learned of my sexuality, I would be shunned, mocked and ostracized. It is a burden that millions of people carry with them every single day.

And sadly, while the mockery and ostracizing are realized by millions of people every day, I truly believe it doesn’t have to happen and that’s why I feel compelled to share what I’ve written in Transparent.

As a journalist I believe that part of my mission is to shed light onto dark places. So, the disclosure of this information does not inhibit in any way my ability to be the professional, fair and objective journalist I have always been."

Lemon has already begun to receive enormous support from fans and members of the gay community. Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend made it very clear about her support of Lemon and the support she expects him to receive from the gay community.

"Let me be one to say it loud and clear - we have your back, Don. Coming out is a life-changing event, be it to yourself, those close to your or to the public at large. You'll never know how many young black gay or lesbian people you are giving the strength to do the same. It's one step at a time, and all need to bolster themselves for the possible consequences -- good and bad. But no one ever regrets coming out in the end.

As a gay black man, Don Lemon's coming out is particularly powerful -- it will generate conversations that have only recently been broached about the double minority status of being gay and a person of color."

Lemon is dedicating Transparent to former Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi. Clementi took his own life last year by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after his sexual encounter with another male student was streamed on the internet.

"I do have to say that the more people who come out, the better it is for everyone, certainly for the Tyler Clementis of the world", says Lemon.

“I think if I had seen more people like me who are out and proud, it wouldn’t have taken me 45 years to say it,” Mr. Lemon said, “to walk in the truth.”

Bravo Don! Bravo!

NFL Linebacker Nic Harris Supports Marriage Equality; Joins NOH8 Campaign

2011-05-11T10:51:00.002-04:00

This is great to see. Carolina Panthers linebacker Nic Harris becomes the latest of only a handful of professional football players to come out in support of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples. Harris has lent his face and celebrity to Adam Bouska's NOH8 Campaign, a silent protest against the passage of Proposition 8, the amendment that banned recognition of gay marriage in California.

"Mr. Harris is one of at least three American professional football players in recent years to openly express his support for marriage equality, following Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo and Cleveland Browns linebacker Scott Fujita", according to Gay Persons of Color.

"Only three NFLers in the league's 89 year history have publicly acknowledged their gayness, and this occurred after their professional football careers had ended. They are David Kopay, Roy Simmons, and Esera Tuaolo."

Kudos to Harris for being a straight black ally who is unafraid to stand up for equality for all regardless of sexual orientation.

First Look: Gay Filmmaker David Barclay Moore's "Race & Sex"

2011-05-09T15:45:00.002-04:00

Openly gay filmmaker David Barclay Moore has a new work in progress dealing with the intersection of sex and race. The 1:26 trailer is an eye full and reenforced what I already knew about myself sexually...LOL! I can't even pretend that I've even heard of some of the stuff the guy in the video is talking about. I can't wait until this project is complete. Get into the trailer below (NSFW).

h/t Bernie

PSA:Broadway Actor Cornelius Jones on His Most Challenging Role: Being HIV Positive

2011-05-09T12:19:00.000-04:00

Veteran Broadway performer and activist Cornelius Jones stars in a new PSA for hivtestnow.org currently airing on LOGO. Jones starred as Simba in Disney's The Lion King on Broadway and speaks on one of his most challenging roles to date: living with HIV.

"As an actor I'm constantly pushing myself...playing new parts and embodying different characters. In life I take on many roles as well; artist, mentor, and humanitarian. But perhaps the most challenging role yet is being HIV positive. But because I know my status I remain disciplined. I stay fit, I stay strong, and I stay balanced. I try to live life fully and openly. Get tested and know your status."

Love the message and the messenger. You may recall reading about Jones on loldarian.com back in 2009 during the debut of his one-man show Flag Boy, a theatrical event chronicling his experiences as a black gay man.

Watch Cornelius Jones in the PSA below:

Gay Video & Lesbian Movies - Logo: Fierce TV

Singer Jason Derulo Poses Nude for Cancer and "The Ladies"

2011-05-09T09:05:00.004-04:00

Pop singer Jason Derulo strips down for the June issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine to raise awareness for testicular cancer. TheKara DioGuardi protege' also tweeted in advance of the photo's release that this one was "for the ladies." The tweet conveniently disappeared from Derulo's timeline and was replaced by the one below.

Yeah, I'm sure that shot was taken with the ladies in mind. Derulo is a graduate of The American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York City where I also attended. We both majored in musical theater.

Derulo has a new album on the way titled Don't Wanna Go Home. I'm sure a little nude shot never hurts album promo. What do you think about Derulo's assets?

Watch: Openly Gay Artist Marck Angel's Sexy New Video "Deep"

2011-05-09T08:18:00.003-04:00

Sexy R&B singer Marck Angel returns with his latest single and video for"Deep", a track featured in the sequel of the hit indie film Finding Me: Truth. The New York based openly gay artist heats up the small screen with some help from openly gay rapper and Truth co-star Bry'nt.

The casting is impeccable as the two have amazing chemistry onscreen. Angel's musical influences are evident throughout his work as he channels the vocal stylings of Ralph Tresvant and El Debarge with his signature soft countertenor. A beautiful beach serves as the romantic backdrop for Deep and Angel delivers with effective and clean choreography.

Watch Marck Angel and Bry'nt in Deep below. Learn more about Marck Angel here.

LIFT: All Male Dance Production Returns To Atlanta

2011-05-03T07:48:00.004-04:00

It's that time again. If you missed the debut of choreographer Daryl Foster's all-male dance production LIFT last year then you don't want to make the same mistake in 2011.

LIFT is a bold concept that brings men to the forefront of dance for an intimate look into the private, and not-so-private lives of the men we all know. This year’s show brings the work of nine diverse male choreographers to the stage; presenting dance styles ranging from contemporary to hip hop.

After its successful 2010 sold-out debut, LIFT returns to the Woodruff Arts Center and unveils a 2-day run May 6 & 7, 2011.

“LIFT is a project whose time has come," Atlanta choreographer and LIFT founder Daryl Foster tells loldarian.com. “The South has a history of cultivating great artists only to lose them to larger cities like New York or L.A; now Atlanta welcomes its turn." You may recall our interview with Foster prior to the debut of LIFT last year. You can watch it here.

Joining Foster in LIFT again this year is Juel Lane, an Atlanta native and creator of the memorable same-sex duet in last year's show featured on loldarian.com.

This year’s showings are May 6 at 8 p.m., May 7 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. For more information on LIFT at the Woodruff Arts Center in Atlanta May 6 & 7, 2011 and its upcoming projects, please visit www.liftdance.org.

Watch the men of LIFT in a SICKENING promo video below. Beware of the eye candy.

Lift Dance 2011 promo from T. Lynne Pixley on Vimeo.

Know Where You Stand: Living Out Loud with Darian & CDC on HIV Testing

2011-05-03T07:22:00.005-04:00

The Center for Disease Control and Living Out Loud with Darian have teamed up to make sure black gay men are being proactive about our sexual health. You may have noticed the banner on the right side of the blog questioning your HIV status. If you don't know your status simply click on the banner to find a testing site in your area.

Did you know:

• More than 1 million people in the United States are living with HIV.

• Of those 1 million people living with HIV, 1 out of 5 do not know they are infected. (People who have HIV but don't know it can unknowingly pass the virus to their partners).

• It is important for everyone to get the facts, talk about HIV/AIDS with partners and loved ones, reduce risk behaviors, and get tested to learn their HIV status.

• Put yourself to the test. CDC recommends that gay and bisexual men be tested for HIV at least annually. Men with multiple partners or anonymous partners, and men who have sex while using drugs or whose partner engages in these activities, should be tested more frequently (every 3-6 months).

• Check and recheck. Knowing and rechecking your HIV status is a critical step toward stopping HIV transmission, because if you know you are infected, you can take steps to protect your partners. Also, if you are infected, the sooner you find out, the sooner you can receive life-extending treatment.

Speaking of treatment. Did you know the guidelines for starting anti-retroviral therapy has changed?

When the CD4 cell count—the number of T-cells in a cubic millimeter or milliliter of blood—drops below 200, the immune system is considered to be "compromised" and you are at a higher risk of experiencing an AIDS-related opportunistic infection, like Pneumocystis pneumonia. In fact, immune system damage can occur at even higher CD4 cell levels. In turn, experts suggest that HIV treatment be started well before the CD4 count drops below 200; it is generally recommended that antiretroviral therapy be started once the CD4 count falls below 500. Some experts even recommend starting treatment when the CD4 count is above 500; basically, as soon as possible after HIV diagnosed. (Source)

I urge all loldarian.com readers to get tested for HIV. If you're negative continue to take steps to protect yourself. If you're positive take the steps to get the necessary medical care you need to survive. As cliche' as it may sound- an HIV/AIDS diagnosis is challenging but is no longer the death sentence it used to be. Standing still and not taking a proactive approach to your health is not an option. Choose life.

• Call 1-800-CDC-INFO or visit www.hivtest.org to find HIV testing locations near you.

Watch: A Black Mother And Her Gay Son

2011-04-18T13:46:00.003-04:00

Grab your tissue. Not every LGBT person is fortunate enough to have accepting parents whom they can talk to openly about their sexual orientation, if you're one of those people, then consider yourself extremely blessed. Sampson McCormick, an openly gay comedian and writer from DC has the kind of relationship with his mother that many LGBT kids dream about. In the latest installment of his YouTube show, McCormick invites his mom on to discuss her experience as the mother of a gay child.

Watch this amazing and heartwarming video below:

Breaking The Silence: Queer Voices Heard Throughout The African Diaspora

2011-04-16T07:16:00.003-04:00

In 2004, lesbian activist FannyAnn Eddy was brutally murdered in Sierra Leone in her office building a few months after returning from a meeting with the United Nations Commission on Human Rights. The details surrounding her death are horrific: evidence revealed that her throat was cut, her tongue and eyes were removed and she was raped. Although the motives of Eddy’s assailant(s) are sketchy, her untimely death shook the African LGBT community, and left her partner and son without a spouse and mother.

In response to Eddy’s murder, Selly Thiam, a first-generation Senegalese queer activist, founded None On Record: Stories of Queer Africa, an audio documentary project that includes a collection of stories from the QLGBT African and African Diaspora community. Her first interview was broadcast on NPR in 2005 with Notisha Massaquoi, a queer woman from Sierra Leone, and since then, the project has continued to expand in cities across the U.S., Canada and South Africa. Thiam’s documentary and grassroots organizing breaks the silence on seclusion, homophobia and the extreme acts of violence that have happened as a result.

SB: What was going through your mind when you heard of FannyAnn Eddy’s death?

ST: When I heard about FannyAnn, I was living in Chicago at the time and this was the first time I saw a West African lesbian, even though I had done so much LGBT organizing in Chicago with black organizations. It had a big impact on me in thinking about the realities of those who were living out as queer or LGBT in African communities. Once Notisha’s interview went on NPR, and the energy behind meeting other people grew, it became clear that it was bigger than I thought it was going to be.

SB: Why did you decide to name the project None On Record?

ST: The name of the project stems from a priest I met from Nigeria who was seeking refugee status in Chicago – not because of his sexual orientation, but political persecution, although he is a gay man. When I asked him if he knew any names of LGBT people in his native language of Yoruba, he paused for a long time and said, “I have none on record.” Every way we’ve described this project comes from the people we’ve interviewed and their stories. How do you describe a queer African and people who may be gender non-conforming in their native language? That’s all being debated because it changes from region to region.
While trying to put this into text, I asked myself, “What kind of language do I use to describe this? This person is gay in New York, but are they gay back home in their village in Nigeria?”

SB: Do you feel a disconnection from Senegal?

ST: I actually feel very connected, but when you identify as queer within the African Diaspora, it can be very difficult to find a way to fuse your African identity with your queer identity. Oftentimes, you’re living two double lives. And I think that’s where the disconnection and isolation comes into play.
When you’re in the Diaspora, people are fighting so hard to be seen as Africans. It’s almost like they want people to know that they’re African. And they want gay people from Africa to know that they are African because there’s always the question of authenticity in the black community. When you get to the States, Canada or parts of Europe, it becomes a little bit murky because people have so many different places they call home. And they’re influenced by so many different things that they may ask, “Am I still African at all?”

SB: How do you find a personal balance with your American and African identity?

ST: I identify as a Senegalese person and African-American. My mother is African-American and my father is Senegalese. Both of those roots are very important to me. I have a different perspective in regards to how I see the role of blackness in a global context because I know how blacks have worked and struggled in different parts of the world.

SB: How did your father deal with your sexuality when you came out to him?

ST: My father knows I’m gay but that’s not important to him at this time. He’s a bit of a revolutionary thinker and not into policing the way I identify. I can tell you that coming out to my mother took decades of her trying to wrap her mind around it. I never really explained to her what I was doing with this project for so many years because I didn’t want her to worry when I traveled. But when she came to visit me in New York a couple of months ago, I played one of the stories we documented. And she said, “Oh my God! This is amazing!” Sometimes, parents surprise you.

SB: Why did you choose to do this as an oral history project, as opposed to documenting it for a book?

ST: I was studying in Mexico before I did my first interview with Notisha in 2004. While there, I did an interview with a NPR producer who made a film in Ghana about a female superhero whose “superhero” powers kicked in whenever a woman was assaulted and she would beat up the assailant. The producer asked me what I was going to work on next and I told her that I was going to Toronto to interview a woman [Notisha] from Sierra Leone who was a lesbian. She told me to take some audio equipment and record her. I recorded it, and later NPR aired it.

I didn’t go with the intention of recording anything, but after doing two or three interviews via audio, I realized that the sound of people’s voices started to mean something to me. It’s one thing to write these narratives down, but it’s another experience to hear when someone hesitates before answering a question or hearing when their voice changes when they are coming across a topic that may be uncomfortable for them because it still carries a lot of pain. Audio is a way to get an essence of a person. It’s like two souls talking.

SB: Who are you planning to submit this project to and how can other people get involved?

ST: The Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture and the Gay and Lesbian Archives (GALA) in Johannesburg are interested in using it as a reproduction. People can do interviews, or donate money and time if they have an expertise or skill. We also have satellite programs all over the world for people to do interviews. To date, we’ve done approximately 30 interviews globally.

SB: How has this project impacted your life?

ST: I now have a huge amount of friends in my African queer community. I love editing, traveling and hearing people tell courageous stories. It’s been amazing for me to see the humanity of people in tough times and it helps me understand the privileges of being a woman born here who has the resources to make this type of project happen.

For more information about None On Record: Stories of Queer Africa, please visit their website: noneonrecord.com

Click here to listen to archived recordings from their website.

This post is courtesy of new loldarian.com contributor Stephanie Barnes. Barnes is a Women and Gender Studies graduate student at Rutgers University and a reservist in the US Air Force. She is the former publisher Shades Magazine. Barnes is also a former GLAAD intern. Loldarian.com is thrilled to have her on board!

ADTV Interviews Sizzle Miami's Dwight Powell

2011-04-16T06:53:00.002-04:00

Derrick Briggs of ADTV sits down for an exclusive interview with Sizzle Miami CEO Dwight Powell. In a rare and revealing interview Powell discusses his life, the gay community, and his highly successful and well attended circuit party held over Memorial Day weekend.

Powell is the founder of the now defunct CLIK Magazine which for many years was the top magazine in the country catering specifically to the black LGBT community. He is currently the editor-in-chief of mPower Magazine, a Miami based magazine for black gay men which I am honored to serve as a staff writer.

Briggs gives Powell a chance to clear up the top misconceptions about Sizzle that many people (including myself) have about the circuit party and even reveals the personal decision that prompted him to move from Atlanta to Miami.

Get into this great interview in the video below:

Follow Loldarian.com on Twitter & Facebook

2011-04-12T11:30:00.003-04:00

As you may have noticed, posting has been sporadic as of late do to other commitments such as school, work, freelance assignments, and my upcoming book release. I'd like to invite you all to follow me on Twitter and to friend me on Facebook since many of you have e-mailed inquiring about updates and how you can follow the blog. Time doesn't always permit me to write extensively on the site, but I update my Twitter and Facebook frequently throughout the day with important LGBT news.

I look forward to keeping you in the know through utilizing social media. Thanks for your support.

Watch: Openly Gay Singer Nhojj's Amazing Grace

2011-04-11T07:17:00.004-04:00

Here's "Amazing Grace", the latest video from openly gay independent singer Nhojj. You may recall reading about the talented and openly gay artist on loldarian.com last year when he topped the MTV Hot 100 list with "Beautiful, the theme song from the Kirk Shannon- Butts film Blueprint.

Nhojj teams up again with director Shannon- Butts for Amazing Grace and the final product is a beautiful mash-up of the unexpected.

"My manager Ron really loves this song and he felt it would be a great message, especially in these times when spiritually and homosexuality seems to be on opposing sides,"says Nhojj. " Since everyone knows Amazing Grace... to combine those two aspects...to bring spirituality and homosexuality together and to really show the lives of two men in love, and to show the similarities between a homosexual relationship and a heterosexual relationship. They're both based on love, both partners are here for each other and we just wanted to show that," adds Nhojj.

"We get to see a lot of sensuality but you don't get to see a lot of intimacy and the natural home life of a gay couple and that's what we wanted to represent."

Nhojj's team on his spin on the traditional classic: This new version of "Amazing Grace" expands the innate power of this hymn to affirm the LGBT community and support gay marriage. It represents a step forward for homosexuals in reclaiming their spiritual lives and healing wounds. This is the first time a well known Christian hymn has been used in a music video to express the "rightness and godliness" of same gender love -- portraying a male interracial couple exchanging marriage vows and living in a loving committed relationship.

Check out Nhojj's beautiful visual for Amazing Grace in the video below. You can also watch a behind the scenes video of Amazing Grace here.

Gospel Artist Dejuaii Pace of The Anointed Pace Sisters: "I'm a 45 Year- Old Lesbian Virgin"

2011-04-05T06:47:00.004-04:00

It's the issue the black church just can't seem to get away from-homosexuality- and gospel singer Dejuaii Pace, of the Anointed Pace Sisters, may force the church to once again confront the issue.

In an exclusive interview on The Root.com, Pace, the daughter of a Pentecostal minister and a member of one of the most beloved family gospel groups of all time reveals she is a lesbian and has been coping with a food addiction as a result of being unable to live life authentically. Pace will share her story as one of eight cast members on the new OWN Network show "Addicted To Food" airing tonight.

From The Root.com

The Root: Before you taped Addicted to Food, had you ever shared with anyone that you were attracted to women?

Dejuaii Pace: When I joined my church about 15 years [ago], because I wanted to be up front with my pastor, I told her that the attraction was there but I was denying that I was attracted to that [gay] lifestyle. I acknowledged it to myself in 2006 when I really took a deep evaluation of my life.

I was not married, was not dating and had not dated. And I was like, why is it so? And I just took a deep look at myself and realized that I've not been attracted to men ever and had just been friendly with them. At the end of the evaluation, I told myself that I had to acknowledge it.

I didn't tell anyone [in my family] I was a lesbian until December 2009, when I felt sick and tired of my life and wasn't happy. And I told one of my friends. I said, "Listen, I need you to help me to come out, because If I'm going to be happy, I've got to face this thing." About 98 percent of my friends are in "the lifestyle," and they knew I was struggling with it.

TR: For a lot of churches in the black community, homosexuality could be staring them in the face, whether it's the choir director or even the pastor, and people will pretend it's not there and speak against it. You seem very passionate about changing that type of behavior. Are you doing anything to help do that?

DP: I feel that is the beginning of what God is calling forth at this time. I do not have all of the answers. For me, I am taking it day by day.

I want my soul mate. However God brings that about is fine with me. I know that God loves me, and he has created me, and this thing is here. I feel that it is part of my destiny to find out what is really going on. Because I cannot say it's against God, and I cannot say God is for it. All I'm saying now is that we cannot tell people what we've been telling them. I have friends who've stopped going to church because of that.

In the interview Pace reveals she is a 45 year-old virgin who has never been intimate with a man or a woman. So how will the church react to her coming out? Will it be the usual fiery condemnation reserved specifically for gays and lesbians ( while adulterers and baby mama's and daddies get a pass) or will Pace be welcomed into the fold because she has remained "pure" and not given into "temptation"?

Dejuaii Pace becomes only the second high profile gospel artist to come out following the firestorm of controversy after B. Slade (formerly Tonex') came out in 2009. Loldarian.com spoke with B. Slade regarding Pace's decision to come out and his concern for her well being was evident.

"I just hope I can reach her as support because I know the hate and fear this article will produce", says Slade.

Dejuaii Pace has provided the black church another opportunity to address (homo) sexuality but I'm not holding my breath for them to approach it any differently than they have in the past. Sadly, it will be business as usual.

Watch Dejuaii Pace in the trailer for Addicted To Food below:

WATCH: Black Gay Poet Yolo Akili & ATL Activists in "Are We The Kind of Boys We Want?"

2011-03-24T09:20:00.005-04:00

New York City based poet and performance artist Yolo Akili returns with his latest video for "Are We The Kind of Boys We Want?" taken from his studio album Purple Galaxy.

“Are We The Kind of Boys We Want?” is a montage of provocative interviews and commentary from numerous black gay men on gender and desire intermixed with a cadre of well known Atlanta activists performing the title poem. The poem reflects the sexism of gay men, the gendered stereotypes or sexual roles and the challenges of romantic relationships.

"I wrote this poem in college after realizing that me and my friends, who would definitely be considered “feminine”, not only never liked boys like us, but often seemed disgusted at them," Akili tells loldarian.com. "I began to wonder what it meant when a reflection of you walks by and you are repulsed. The poem is about just that, pondering what that kind of behavior means for our own self esteem and self image in the context of gender and sexuality."

Akili is an loldarian.com favorite and his work has been featured on this site in the past. You may recall seeing the sensual video for the poem "Concretely" a few months ago co-starring dancer Juel Lane. Akili was kind enough to invite me to participate in "Are We The Kind Of Boys We Want?" and it was a wonderful experience. Atlanta activists Michael Brewer, Anthony Antoine, Khalid, Anye Elite, Chase Andrews, Jarrett Hill, Tobias Spears and a host of others are included in this video.

Check out "Are We The Kind of Boys We Want?" below:

Lead With Love: A Resource for Parents of LGBT Kids

2011-03-18T11:13:00.005-04:00

Coming out as gay or lesbian can be one of the most difficult and life changing experiences for an individual as well as their family. Unsuspecting parents are usually caught off guard and can have a range of emotions from guilt, anger, to blaming themselves, and worst of all violence.

Lead with Love, a new documentary by Jenny Mackenzie and David M. Huebner aims to provide comfort, information, and guidance for parents who have recently learned that their son or daughter is lesbian, gay, or bisexual. The film follows four families as they share their honest reactions to hearing that their child is gay, including the intense emotions, fears, and questions that it raised. Interviews with psychologists, teachers, and clergy provide factual answers to parents' most commonly asked questions, as well as concrete guidance to help parents keep their children healthy and safe during this challenging time.

The filmmaker's have provided quick guide pdf's on their website for parents who have recently discovered that their child is gay or lesbian. I know my parents could have benefited form this if it were around when I came out.

Check out the trailer for Lead with Love below. You can order the DVD by visiting their official website.

Tyler Perry To Critics of Drag Persona Madea: "Chill...Let That Sh** Go!"

2011-03-15T10:28:00.003-04:00

It's the sound bite that very few people noticed as an agitated Tyler Perry spoke with reporters on the red carpet of the 2011 NAACP Image Awards. Our friends at No More Down Low TV caught up with the media mogul to gauge his reaction to black America's fascination with black men in drag on screen and the subsequent criticism aimed at his gun-toting character Mabel 'Madea' Simmons.

"Why are black people complaining about what other comedians are doing?", said Perry. "It's a comedic moment...people need to just chill...let that shit go!", he added.

A very different tone than we're used to hearing from the devoutly religious 40-something bachelor who was accompanied by a "guest" to the awards ceremony.

Tyler Perry's latest film Madea's Big Happy Family hits theaters on April 22 and judging from the trailer it's more of the same recycled mess we're used to seeing from Perry. But we should all run out and see it because he's the only person hiring black actors, right? I agree with No More Down Low TV host Janora McDuffie when she says despite the criticism Perry will be laughing all the way to the bank. And let me add at the expense of black and gay people.

Watch the clip below:

Bishop Harry Jackson on Maryland Marriage Defeat: "The Black Church Stopped Gay Marriage In Its Tracks"

2011-03-14T11:57:00.004-04:00

I knew it wouldn't be long before this troll of a "minister" took to the airwaves to boast about the recent defeat of marriage equality in Maryland. Anti-gay Bishop Harry Jackson recently appeared on the Christian Broadcasting Network to take all of the credit along with the black church for "stopping gay marriage in its tracks" in his home state of Maryland.

The proposed marriage equality bill that passed by a slim majority in Maryland's Senate but failed to garner enough votes necessary for passage in the House was sent back to committee last week after supporters of the bill realized it wouldn't pass if brought to a floor vote.

Jackson is affiliated with the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage and was on the losing end of a bitter fight to prevent marriage equality in the District of Columbia.

I simply cannot wait for someone to out this despicable man.

Blogger Alvin McEwen writes about the black church's incessant need to impede the civil rights of the LGBT community on his blog Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters.

"Being oppressed is not a status symbol. Being oppressed is not a mark of achievement. It should never be used as a pedestal to somehow judge whether or not a group of people are “worthy” of being treated like basic human beings.

Not that it will make a difference in the minds of the people who choose to play this game, but some of those same lgbt scars belong to African Americans. Some of that lgbt pain and humiliation comes from African-American hearts. And some of that lgbt blood shed at the hands of homophobic monsters come from African-American bodies.

And that is the saddest thing about the entire mess. When some African-American leaders rag against lgbt equality, they fool themselves into thinking that they are speaking against hedonistic upper class white gay men sipping fancy cocktails in a ritzy bars.

But that notion is so far from the truth.

African-American leaders who speak against lgbt equality are stabbing their own people in the back - the young black lesbian kicked out of her home for “acting like a man,” the effeminate black gay boy constantly picked on by bullies, the older African-Americans lgbts left adrift and rendered invisible by their own black community, and all of the other assorted black lgbt brothers, sisters, cousins, nephews, nieces, and close friends not given the courtesy of simple public acknowledgement.

And while these self-righteous black leaders may claim that they don’t mean treat their own people in this manner, their pathetic mea culpa don’t mean a drop of water in the bucket to those like myself who have to deal with such things on a constant basis.

Through their barrage of hurtful comments, these black leaders foster a rejection of African-American lgbts like myself, thereby telling us that we are not a genuine part of the black community.

And that hurts."

Watch Bishop Harry Jackson gloat over what will be a short-lived victory in Maryland in the clip below.

h/t Joe.My.God

You & Me: A Study of Men In Same-Sex Relationships

2011-03-14T09:58:00.000-04:00

Did you know although there's millions of same-sex couples living in the United States there is very little research about this demographic? The You and Me Study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health along with researchers from San Francisco and New York are working to change this.

The mission of the You & Me Study is to gain a better understanding of relationship dynamics and the contextual factors that shape them in order to develop interventions to improve the sexual health of men in same-sex relationships. Little health research has focused on same-sex couples, and even fewer studies have included Black and interracial same-sex couples. You & Me will examine how agreements and other relationship-based factors may influence HIV risk behaviors among same-sex couples.

If you're apart of a same-sex couple or not there's many ways you can be involved.

And don't you just love the visual of beautiful black gay couples? Loldarian.com favorite Yolo Akili, whom you will be seeing more of later this month poses as one of the models along with New Jersey -based writer and activist Darnell Moore, and former executive director of Queers for Economic Justice Kenyon Farrow.

Watch: Singer & LGBT Ally Steph Jones in 'Southern Love' Video

2011-03-14T09:57:00.004-04:00

Super sexy and talented indie singer Steph Jones returns with his latest single 'Southern Love' and a smoking hot video that both the ladies and his gay fans can appreciate. Jones is accompanied by co-star and America's Next Top Model Cycle 9 winner Saleisha Stowers.

"In this video you get the rawest form of Steph Jones anyone has seen. No hat, no glasses, no fancy clothes. Just me being there for someone in need," says Jones.

The track is hot and Jones channels an intensity and longing for his partner in his sultry voice that literally jumps off the screen. Jones is an loldarian.com favorite and straight ally. Who could forget his amazing YouTube video "The Gays Are Coming."? Get into Steph Jones in 'Southern Love' in the video below.

Trailer: New Black Gay Film "Change" Intersects Sexuality and Politics

2011-03-07T09:52:00.010-05:00

If you're like me then you're probably starving for images and stories that reflect your experience as an LGBT person of color. Here's CHANGE another independent film that's gaining quite a buzz on the film festival circuit.

On the day of the 2008 election a bright young African American student, JAMIE, is among a group of teenagers presenting their case to the class as to why the candidate of their choice should be elected president. When, Ivan – the openly gay student - stands to speak, he is bullied by some of the boys in the class. Later, the same boys make plans to humiliate Ivan further by spraying graffiti on his house. Jamie steps in to prevent it by suggesting that they should do it after Proposition 8 has passed and the boys agree to wait until the next day.

At home, we see Jamie’s true nature when he talks to Ivan on the street, reassuring him that the proposition to ban same sex marriage will never pass in California and then, in the secrecy of his bedroom, he looks at gay porn magazines.

When Obama’s victory is announced Jamie celebrates with his family and shares a special moment with his Grandmother as he recognizes the importance of the occasion for her.

The following day Jamie is shocked to learn that Proposition 8 has indeed passed. He sprints to Ivan’s house to try and prevent the boys from spraying it but arrives too late – the deed is done and Ivan sits alone on the front porch.
Jamie sits beside his friend and tries to comfort him. They share a moment together, when suddenly Jamie’s friends arrive on the scene and discover what Jamie has been hiding from them. Ivan starts to panic, but Jamie is steadfast in wanting to confront his friends no matter what the consequences.

Click here for a list of screenings across the U.S. and the UK. Watch the trailer for CHANGE below.

Know Where You Stand: CDC & Living Out Loud with Darian Partner for HIV Awareness/Testing

2011-03-07T09:35:00.005-05:00

The Center for Disease Control and Living Out Loud with Darian have teamed up to make sure Black gay men are being proactive about our sexual health. You may have noticed the banner on the right side of the blog all month questioning your HIV status. If you don't know your status simply click on the banner to find a testing site in your area. In the case of HIV/AIDS what you don't know can hurt you.

Here's a few facts as it relates to HIV/AIDS among black gay men directly from the CDC:

• By race/ethnicity, African Americans face the most severe burden of HIV in the
United States.

• 1 in 16 Black men will be diagnosed with HIV at some point in his lifetime.

• Every 9½ minutes (on average), someone in the United States is infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

• More than 1 million people in the United States are living with HIV.

• Of those 1 million people living with HIV, 1 out of 5 do not know they are infected. (People who have HIV but don't know it can unknowingly pass the virus to their partners).

• It is important for everyone to get the facts, talk about HIV/AIDS with partners and loved ones, reduce risk behaviors, and get tested to learn their HIV status.

• Put yourself to the test. CDC recommends that gay and bisexual men be tested for HIV at least annually. Men with multiple partners or anonymous partners, and men who have sex while using drugs or whose partner engages in these activities, should be tested more frequently (every 3-6 months).

• Check and recheck. Knowing and rechecking your HIV status is a critical step toward stopping HIV transmission, because if you know you are infected, you can take steps to protect your partners. Also, if you are infected, the sooner you find out, the sooner you can receive life-extending treatment.

• Start talking. Talk to everyone you know about HIV—friends and family, coworkers, and neighbors. Have ongoing and open discussions with your partners about HIV testing and risk behaviors.

• Talking openly about HIV can reduce the stigma that keeps too many from seeking the testing, prevention and treatment services, and support they need.

• Call 1-800-CDC-INFO or visit www.hivtest.org to find HIV testing locations near you.

Back Next Week

2011-03-04T08:48:00.003-05:00

Sorry about my absence. Still learning how to juggle being a full- time student with a full time-job, a full-time boyfriend, and a full time-blog. Sleep is rare these days. Be back next week.

Washington Post On (The Lack Of) African-American Response on Obama's Shift on DOMA

2011-03-01T10:40:00.008-05:00

Washington Post staff writers Krissah Thompson and Hamil Harris have penned a piece on the lack of outcry from socially conservative African-Americans regarding president Obama and the Department of Justice's decision not to defend DOMA in court. Could this also be the beginning of a shift in the attitudes of African-Americans towards same-sex marriage now that two family oriented Black men, Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder, are leading the way towards eradicating the discriminatory law?

The Washington Post reports:

Rev. Anthony Evans, a minister who heads the National Black Church Initiative, had a strong negative reaction to the announcement that Obama no longer believes the Defense of Marriage Act, called DOMA, is constitutional. After Obama told Attorney General Eric Holder to stop defending it, the minister put out a statement condemning the decision.

"The president has harmed himself on this issue," he said. "He has openly offended the black church, and he didn't need to do it." But Evans plans to continue to support Obama on other issues, such as preventing a rollback of health care reform.

Rev. Henry P. Davis, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Highland Park in Landover, was lukewarm on the issue, saying the issue of gay rights doesn't resonate with his parishioners. "I know that there is a great wrestling nationally around this issue, but [here] people are still mainly concerned about their everyday economic existence, those issues are much larger," Davis said.

An open question, said J. Kameron Carter, an associate professor in theology and black church studies, is whether Obama's shifting policy on same-sex marriage will impact black attitudes on the issue. "The fact that these initiatives are coming from the government - and not just that - from Obama and Holder, two African American family men, is going to generate conversation among African Americans," Carter said. "This can open a very fruitful and interesting dialogue."

Sharon Lettman-Hicks, executive director of the National Black Justice Coalition, which advocates for gay rights, praised Obama's decision, saying it makes clear "there is not just one moral authority in the black community."

The lack of fiery condemnation regarding Obama's decision from black evangelicals is promising, but the belief that gay rights are not civil rights, paired with the exclusion of black gays and lesbians by our own when discussing gay issues is beyond troubling.

See Here and Here.

h/t Son of Baldwin

First Look: Independent Film "Punch Me"

2011-03-01T10:02:00.004-05:00

Here's your first look at the new independent film Punch Me. With a romance on the rocks and a father on his sick bed, a young man must accept his true identity before he loses the two people he loves most.

The film is written by Robert X. Golphin (The Great Debaters) who also stars along with Brian Anthony Wilson (HBO’s “The Wire”), and newcomer Elwood Idris Simon.

Punch Me won the official selection prize at the 2011 Marlon Riggs Film Festival in Dallas, Texas and is currently on the film festival circuit. Our copy of Punch Me is on the way. Be sure to lookout for more info regarding Punch Me on loldarian.com in the coming weeks.

Watch the trailer below:

Minister Louis Farrakhan on Gays & Rihanna: "They're Swine!"

2011-03-01T08:20:00.005-05:00

And now for your daily dose of crazy courtesy of Nation of Islam leader "Minister" Louis Farrakhan.

Farrakhan addressed over 18,000 of his followers last Sunday at the annual Saviors Day convention in Chicago during an erratic speech in which he hailed Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi, Scientology, warned of a similar revolution taking place in the Middle East happening in America, and slammed gays and pop singer Rihanna as "swine".

The Chicago-Sun Times reports:

His speech also covered familiar topics from previous Savior’s Day events, including a focus on the common beliefs of Christians and Muslims who he said “should not be at war with one another,” how the Nation of Islam believes that white people were created from blacks 4,000 years ago on an Aegean island by a black scientist, and on problems affecting the black community, including street gangs.

He also criticized the sexually charged performances of popstar Rihanna, saying they were “filthy” and that people who enjoyed such antics were “swine,” a description he also applied to homosexuals and lesbians. He also criticized immigrant Muslims in the Chicago area for moving to white suburbs and being patronizing toward black Muslims.

During Black History Month, schools should teach from Nation of Islam books that say Jewish people took advantage of blacks, he said. An Anti-Defamation League spokesman said Farrakhan’s comments were “just the usual hate speech and propoganda.”

He warned that non-believers and the sinful would face the wrath of God through high-technology UFOs or “wheels” that he has often described in previous addresses.

If there was any doubt that nut jobs can be found in every religion then Farrakhan has just erased it. All of this from a man and a "brotherhood" who were responsible for the death of one of their own.

Gay Theologian and Author Rev. Peter Gomes Dies At 68

2011-03-01T07:04:00.002-05:00

Incredibly sad new to report. Author and professor of Divinity at Harvard Rev. Peter Gomes has passed away at 68. His death, which was first reported by The Harvard Crimson, was confirmed by Emily Lemiska, a spokeswoman at Massachusetts General Hospital, where Mr. Gomes had recently been treated.

The New York Times reports on the life and legacy of Gomes who courageously came out in 1991 on the conservative Ivy League campus.

From The New York Times:

At Harvard, he was the Plummer Professor of Christian Morals at the School of Divinity and the Pusey Minister of Memorial Church, a nondenominational center of Christian life on campus. For decades, he was among the first and the last to address undergraduates, greeting arriving freshman with a sermon on hallowed traditions, and advising graduating seniors about the world beyond the sheltering Harvard Yard.

Then in 1991, he appeared before an angry crowd of students, faculty members and administrators protesting homophobic articles in a conservative campus magazine whose distribution had led to a spate of harassment and slurs against gay men and lesbians on campus. Mr. Gomes, putting his reputation and career on the line, announced that he was “a Christian who happens as well to be gay.”

When the cheers faded, there were expressions of surprise from the Establishment, and a few calls for his resignation, which were ignored. The announcement changed little in Mr. Gomes’s private life; he had never married and said he was celibate by choice. But it was a major turning point for him professionally.

“I now have an unambiguous vocation — a mission — to address the religious causes and roots of homophobia,” he told The Washington Post months later. “I will devote the rest of my life to addressing the ‘religious case’ against gays.”

One can read into the Bible almost any interpretation of morality, he liked to say after coming out, for its passages had been used to defend slavery and the liberation of slaves, to support racism, anti-Semitism and patriotism, to enshrine a dominance of men over women, and to condemn homosexuality as immoral.

My personal memory of Gomes reaches as far back as my junior year in high school when I came across The Good Book: Reading The Bible with Mind and Heart, a work he created to refute all of the "clobber passages" from the bible used to condemn and demoralize gays and lesbians. I'll never forget the spiritual liberation I experienced after reading it and the heated debate that followed my oral presentation on its contents in my literature class. Gomes opened up an alternate interpretation of the bible for me and if it weren't for him I'd most likely be separated from God and the church today. He will be missed.

Watch Gomes discuss what he believed Jesus would say about same-sex marriage in the clip below.

NOH8 Campaign ATL Shoot features Openly Gay Dad Anthony Antoine, 3LWTV, & Others

2011-02-25T13:35:00.003-05:00

A few shots from Adam Bouska's NOH8 Campaign Atlanta photo shoot that took place last month during the MLK holiday weekend.

Atlanta activist, independent recording artist, and openly gay dad Anthony Antoine and his daughter Vogue. I love this shot because the relationship Anthony has with his daughter defies every single stereotype people like politician Mike Huckabee would have you to believe about gay parents and their children. Their family is no experiment.

Antoine and Vogue spoke to CNN last June about their relationship. Watch here.

The incredible Paris Eley of The Vision Church of Atlanta. Hands down one of the most prolific and affirming ministers I've ever witnessed. If you've never heard him speak then you should definitely watch this clip.

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My good friend and creator of 3LWTV Mr. Lonnell Williams. Stand in your light! He's on the pulse of everything in the Black LGBT community. Get into his YouTube Channel for the best interviews for us and about us.

One word. Donato. Atlanta HIV/AIDS activist and prevention specialist for over ten years. I bet you wanna play tennis now, don't you? Lol!

Wells Fargo Includes Black Gay Couple in Ad Campaign

2011-02-25T11:26:00.000-05:00

Now this is something you don't see everyday. Apparently, Wells Fargo Bank is aware that there's black gay couples in the world and have actually included us in their marketing.

Son of Baldwin tips us to this great ad that reads:"With you when two accounts become one."

Love it!

Son of Baldwin makes this observation that even the so-called gay media consistently overlooks: "There's actually a corporation out there that acknowlegdes that two black men can be in a romantic, loving, intimate, nurturing and committed relationship with one another? "

Yes. And this isn't Wells Fargo's first time acknowledging black gay couples as they did so in 2005. Thanks for being inclusive Wells Fargo.

Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He Hates You

2011-02-25T10:17:00.000-05:00

Former Arkansas Governor and potential 2012 Republican presidential nominee Mike Huckabee sat down with CNN's John King last night to publicly address his disdain for gays in virtually every area in society. If this "good ole boy" gets his way Don't Ask Don't Tell would be repealed, Defense of Marriage Act upheld, same-sex adoptions banned in all 50 states, and all gay and lesbian people quarantined. This man is dangerous and he cloaks his bigotry in religion. Sick.

"The job of the gay community is not to deal with extremists who would castigate us or put us on an island and drop an H-bomb on us. The fact of the matter is that there is a small percentage of people in America who understand the true nature of the homosexual community. There is another small percentage who will never understand us. Our job is not to get those people who dislike us to love us. Nor was our aim in the civil rights movement to get prejudiced white people to love us. Our aim was to try to create the kind of America, legislatively, morally, and psychologically, such that even though some whites continued to hate us, they could not openly manifest that hate. That's our job today: to control the extent to which people can publicly manifest antigay sentiment." Bayard Rustin; From Montgomery to Stonewall (1986)

Watch Huckabee "love the sinner and hate the sin" in the clip below:

Trailer: LA Ballroom Film "Leave It On The Floor"

2011-02-25T08:55:00.003-05:00

Here's your first look at an extended trailer for the upcoming ballroom film Leave It On The Floor. Loldarian.com first reported on the film in January and it seems to be creating quite a buzz online.

Leave It On The Floor is choreographed by Frank Gaston with original music by Kim Burse. If those names sound familiar it's because those two hard-working individuals are the creative masterminds behind the success of superstar Beyonce Knowles.

Leave It On The Floor is set to be released in theaters in July. Get into the trailer below:

WATCH: NOM President Maggie Gallagher On Obama Decision not to Defend Doma: "He has declared "Gay Is The New Black"

2011-02-23T15:24:00.006-05:00

Now this is rich. Watch anti-gay hate leader and president of the National Organization for Marriage Maggie Gallagher as she calls in to Fox News to wine about the Obama Administrations decision not to defend DOMA in court.

"This is an end-run really around our normal constitutional processes. And we’re going to be seeing a lot more of this by President Obama now that he faces a Republican-dominated Congress. Not only is he refusing to defend the law, but he has unilaterally declared that gay is like black... that orientation is subject to strict scrutiny."

Oh no she didn't! This was a not- so subliminal call to rally the troops, especially those social conservatives in the Black community who abhor anyone who intelligently points out the similarities between the civil rights and gay rights movements. Cue bigot Bishop Harry Jackson.

The gloves are coming off people.

Listen to Gallagher and Fox News anchor Megan Fox lose their minds in the clip below:

BREAKING: OBAMA Administration Will Not Defend DOMA in Court

2011-02-23T13:30:00.002-05:00

Loldarian.com received this important and breaking news on the Defense of Marriage Act moments ago via e-mail from the White House Media Affairs Office.

From Attorney General Eric Holder:

In the two years since this Administration took office, the Department of Justice has defended Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act on several occasions in federal court. Each of those cases evaluating Section 3 was considered in jurisdictions in which binding circuit court precedents hold that laws singling out people based on sexual orientation, as DOMA does, are constitutional if there is a rational basis for their enactment. While the President opposes DOMA and believes it should be repealed, the Department has defended it in court because we were able to advance reasonable arguments under that rational basis standard.

Section 3 of DOMA has now been challenged in the Second Circuit, however, which has no established or binding standard for how laws concerning sexual orientation should be treated. In these cases, the Administration faces for the first time the question of whether laws regarding sexual orientation are subject to the more permissive standard of review or whether a more rigorous standard, under which laws targeting minority groups with a history of discrimination are viewed with suspicion by the courts, should apply.

After careful consideration, including a review of my recommendation, the President has concluded that given a number of factors, including a documented history of discrimination, classifications based on sexual orientation should be subject to a more heightened standard of scrutiny. The President has also concluded that Section 3 of DOMA, as applied to legally married same-sex couples, fails to meet that standard and is therefore unconstitutional. Given that conclusion, the President has instructed the Department not to defend the statute in such cases. I fully concur with the President’s determination.

Consequently, the Department will not defend the constitutionality of Section 3 of DOMA as applied to same-sex married couples in the two cases filed in the Second Circuit. We will, however, remain parties to the cases and continue to represent the interests of the United States throughout the litigation. I have informed Members of Congress of this decision, so Members who wish to defend the statute may pursue that option. The Department will also work closely with the courts to ensure that Congress has a full and fair opportunity to participate in pending litigation.

Countering Anti-Gay Religious Arguments

2011-02-21T11:44:00.003-05:00

Atlanta's gay news weekly The Georgia Voice examines faith and religion in the LGBT community in it's latest issue, more specifically the infamous "clobber passages" used by the church to persecute LGBT people. How many times have you been told your sexual orientation is an abomination because God said so? But is that really what God said and does an abomination mean the same thing in modern culture as it did over two thousand years ago?

Sadly, many of us accept what we hear from the pulpit as fact and never pursue independent study of the scriptures, therefore we allow ourselves to be spiritually abused and separated from God because of man's interpretation. This is a serious problem in the African-American community and one that continually keeps us as LGBT people of color in bondage.

Below are a few highlights from The Georgia Voice's article on countering anti-gay religious arguments via What The Bible Does and Doesn't Say About Homosexuality, a Soulforce publication by Rev. Dr. Mel White.

BIBLICAL CONDEMNATION

If they say...

The Bible condemns homosexuality.

You can say... Jesus says nothing about same-sex behavior. The Jewish prophets are silent about homosexuality. Only six or seven of the Bible’s one million verses refer to same-sex behavior in any way — and none of these verses refer to homosexual orientation as it’s understood today.

ADAM AND STEVE

If they say...

The Bible says God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

You can say... This creation story is primarily about God, a story written to show the power of God who created the world. Because the text says it is “natural” that a man and a woman come together to create a new life, some people think this means gay or lesbian couples are “unnatural.” They read this interpretation into the text, even though the text is silent about all kinds of relationships that don’t lead to having children, like heterosexuals who are infertile or too old to have children. Are these relationships “unnatural”?

SODOM AND GOMORRAH

If they say...

God destroyed Sodom due to homosexuality. Genesis 19: Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house. 5 And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.”(New King James Version)

You can say… Jesus and five Old Testament prophets all speak of the sins that led to the destruction of Sodom — and not one of them mentions homosexuality.

Listen to what Ezekiel 16:48-49 tell us: “This is the sin of Sodom; she and her suburbs had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not help or encourage the poor and needy.”

It was common for soldiers, thieves, and bullies to rape a fallen enemy, asserting their victory by dehumanizing and demeaning the vanquished. This act of raping an enemy is about power and revenge, not about homosexuality or homosexual orientation.

LEVITICUS & ABOMINATION

If they say...

Leviticus 18:6 reads: “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination.” A similar verse occurs two chapters later, in Leviticus 20:13: “A man who sleeps with another man is an abomination and should be executed.”

You can say... Leviticus is a holiness code written 3,000 years ago. This code includes many of other outdated sexual laws (like stoning adulterers and brides who are not virgins, and executing a married couple for having sex during the woman’s period), and a lot more. It also includes prohibitions against round haircuts, tattoos, working on the Sabbath, wearing garments of mixed fabrics, eating pork or shellfish, getting your fortune told, and even playing with the skin of a pig. (There goes football!)

So what’s a holiness code? It’s a list of behaviors that people of faith find offensive in a certain place and time. In this case, the code was written for priests only, and its primary intent was to set the priests of Israel over and against priests of other cultures.

What about this word abomination that comes up in both passages? In Hebrew, “abominations” (TO’EBAH) are behaviors that people in a certain time and place consider tasteless or offensive. To the Jews an abomination was not a law, not something evil like rape or murder forbidden by the Ten Commandments.
Jesus and Paul both said the holiness code in Leviticus does not pertain to Christian believers.

Download a free PDF of What The Bible Does Say and Doesn't Say About Homosexuality here.

Guest Post: Visibility is Survival-Honoring Jospeh Fairchild Beam by Craig Washington

2011-02-17T14:43:00.007-05:00

I first learned that I had the power to become, to define myself beyond the circumstance of my birth through the cultural pride my parents instilled in me and my brother. Our home was enriched with artifacts of black genius. There were books and albums of art titans such as Lorraine Hansberry, James Baldwin, the Temptations, Coltrane and Labelle. There was the framed Free Angela Davis portrait posted so high the crown of her afro almost brushed our living room ceiling. Through the acknowledgement of record, this little black boy was shown his past and thus felt assured a place in the world. “When I speak of home, I mean not only the familial constellation from which I grew, but the entire Black community: the Black press, the Black church, Black academicians, the Black literati, and the Black left.”

But as the gnawing consciousness of my queerness grew so did a sense of dislocation from family and community, all that I considered home—a loss of place. I found little affirmation within and outside of this home for the self that time was quickly uncovering. “Where is my reflection?” For black sissies coming of age in the late 70’s, Baldwin was the sole homosexual male figure we could look to who had won admission within the guarded gates of respectable black culture. Just at the edge of those gates, embraced by fellow outsiders, Sylvester, the femme disco diva, helped broker a wider acceptance of gender fluidity that defined the emerging decade. But beyond Baldwin and Sylvester, there was little evidence in black or queer media that black gay men existed.

By the middle of the decade, a new generation of black gay men’s voices began arising in concert. We were writing, publishing work and building organizations that articulated our realities and placed footholds on cultural and political landscapes across the country. Joseph Beam editor of “In the Life: A Black Gay Anthology”, the 1986 pivotal black gay men’s collection stood squarely at the forefront of this nascent movement. The book which featured the work of 29 authors was the first compilation of openly gay black men’s writings. As such In the Life helped break stony ground for successive generations of black queer writers to publish work and build an indispensible canon that continues to deconstruct concepts of identity, love, gender, race, class, sexuality, family, class and the dynamics of power and privilege. None other than the fabulous Sylvester gave the compelling forward—“At times I cried just remembering how it is to be both black and gay during these truly difficult times. But here we are still proud and living, with a culture all our own.”

“I am most often rendered invisible, perceived as a threat to the family, or am tolerated if I am silent or inconspicuous.” With “In The Life”, Beam presented his daunting lot within heterosexist black society as a fundamental condition, a systemic marginalization endured by most black gay men. He called out the parallel exclusions from queer culture, listing the absences of black men from the books and magazines that occupied the shelves of Giovanni’s Room, where he worked. Like his close friend and colleague Essex Hemphill, Beam was emboldened by the work of lesbian feminists of color such as June Jordan, Barbara Smith and Cherrie Moraga. He knew that black gay men like their black lesbian sisters before them would have to chart their own path toward self determination and visibility, to discover their own power. “Visibility” he wrote, “is survival.” Beam pointed out that while the presence and participation of black gay men in all relationships and systems that make up black society is undeniable, in 1984 we were still largely unacknowledged and coerced into silence which perpetuated our erasure.

“The legacy we leave.” In order to nurture indeed to save black gay men’s lives, Beam knew that we had make our truths indelible by writing them in their fullness so that they may be shared and passed on. He likened the anthology to the very organization Hemphill wishes to start “to save my life” in Hemphill’s signature piece “For My Own Protection”. For Beam creating In The Life was much more than an expression of artistic vision or a showcase for black gay writers. In the face of racism, homophobia, violence, depression, isolation, dehumanization and of course AIDS, In The Life was an act of survival, a gift of love to feed those who had long hungered for their own self definition.

I can only wonder exactly what Sylvester meant in the “In The Life” forward when he mentioned living black and gay during those “truly difficult times.” I can recall with certainty and the added clarity of hard earned wisdom how hard those times were for me. It was in 1985 that at 25, I had developed symptoms of HIV infection, then a hopeless diagnosis. At that time, I was writing and performing poetry on my own and as part of an ensemble Us’s in the coffeehouses of the Village, midtown, and Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I discovered in the face of my threatened extinction that I am a writer and that writing more than any act might enable me to survive and leave something of use behind. By 1986, I had heard about Beam too late to respond to his call for manuscripts. That summer I had planned a trip to Philadelphia to see my friend Cynthia who was also a friend of his. She promised to introduce us and he and I even spoke over the phone. I remember his warmth and our mutual eagerness to meet in person. I had to cancel my trip for some forgotten reason. I was more than consoled by the autographed copy of this newly published work he mailed me. “For Craig (via Cynthia)” it reads. “The legacy we leave are the deeds we do. Joseph Beam 13 September 1987”.

I recall the skin prickling revelation as I turned from page to page that I was holding a precious piece of history in my hand. I was reading the works of living black gay men who were my contemporaries. “We are Black men who are proudly gay.” I had first seen Essex Hemphill at a reading featuring Audre Lorde and was immediately taken in. There was Assoto Saint, a mystical, witty character whom I met at a Blackheart Collective meeting, Craig G. Harris and Donald Woods, both New Yorkers whose local work I had admired. I knew that miraculous as it was, this was a beginning and that it offered me possibilities. By then Assoto and Donald had become active performers with Other Countries, a black gay mens collective that continued the tradition Beam largely made possible. How poetically sad and strange it is that Joseph Beam never lived to see much of what would unfold through the doors his efforts opened. On December 27, 1988, Beam died from AID related complications, less than a week following his legendary brother Sylvester.

The life that I lead now is an inherited privilege and my work a sacred commitment handed down from Joseph, Sylvester, Essex and all those wonder weaving brothers and sisters. I often hear Joseph’s voice in my own writing. His legacy is manifest through the work of G.Winston James, Marvin K. White, Adodi Muse and other artists he inspired. Upon the occasion of Black History Month 2011, let us commit to learn more and regard the legacy left by Joseph Fairchild Beam. Like many of my brothers his name continues to go unmentioned in recent documentaries and anthologies that recount black and lgbt liberation movements. Too few Black queer folk have a clue who he was and what he did for us. I recognize as a 50-something survivor of that generation I am here to tell the stories and name the names. What may the deeds Joseph accomplished over 20 years ago implore us to embark now? How might we as Joseph act to make sure that we all especially the young know our black gay heritage? Every day, I carry in my heart, I move and move others through Joseph’s resounding declaration. “The bottom line is this: We are Black men who are proudly gay. What we offer is our lives, our love, our visions. We are risin’ to the love we all need. We are coming home with our heads held up high.”

Craig Washington is an Atlanta resident and respected writer and community activist. Learn more about his life and work via his website here.

"Former Homosexual" Pastor Ja'von Crockett Appears on Better Days Radio

2011-02-17T11:20:00.005-05:00

Photos: WhatsTheT.com

Who could forget the "former homosexual" and mother of the house of Cavalli turned pastor that took the internet by storm a few weeks ago.

LGBT internet radio hosts Sir Daniel and Drama Dupree managed to nab an in-depth interview with Pastor Ja'von Crockett on their newly re-vamped show on Beehive FM Radio. Crockett's interview with a local Atlanta Christian television show went viral after he proclaimed to be "free from the homosexual lifestyle."

During his interview on Better Days Radio Crockett comes off as a spokesperson for the anti-gay religious right, asserting that "the lifestyle" is filled with drugs, partying till dawn, and promiscuous sex. Crockett says his fear of dying from AIDS was one of the main motivating factors to change his sexual orientation. Yeah, because we all know heterosexuals aren't infected with HIV. Thankfully Sir Daniel doesn't let Crockett get away with spreading misinformation and challenges him directly.

Crockett's interview begins at the 1:10:39 mark in the clip below:

Watch: ATL Black Gay Reality Series "Tha Life Atlanta"

2011-02-15T19:03:00.004-05:00

An extended trailer for the forthcoming black gay reality series "Tha Life Atlanta" has been released and it's quite interesting. You may recall reading about Tha Life Atlanta on loldarian.com earlier this year after the cast made their first public appearance.

If the YouTube comments are any indication of how this show will be received by mainstream America then black gay men everywhere better get prepared for some fierce dialogue. I'll be watching with one eye closed. The network hosting the series has yet to be announced.

Watch the trailer HERE.

Legally Married Bliss: Michael & Douglas in ME Magzine

2011-02-14T12:00:00.002-05:00

Just in time for Valentine's Day comes the beautiful love story of Michael Frierson and Douglas Ray as penned by writer Stephaan Harris for online ME Magazine. Both DC residents, Frierson and Ray legally tied the knot on December 18th 2010 after marriage equality was passed in the District granting full marriage rights to same-sex couples. They recount their journey from courtship to jumping the broom in ME.

From ME Magazine:

He popped the question on Valentine's Day, and of course the answer was yes. Since the proposal early last year the couple-like any other engaged twosome anywhere in the country-had spent the remaining months busily preparing for the December 18 ceremony with the usual stuff; sending out invitations, securing their church to host, tailoring a crisp black tuxedo just right, and arranging for the food, flowers, and music.

"We were married before we were married," said Ray, 30, nicknamed "DJ". "When you love someone so much you want to share it with everyone."

"To me, it's the ultimate commitment to make to someone," said Frierson, 41. "It's letting them be part of all of who you are."

The wedding took place at DC's Metropolitan Community Church, perhaps the city's premier LGBT congregation, where Ray and Frierson regularly attend services. Some 100 people attended with a friend of the couple singing India Arie's tender "I Am Ready For Love".

As fun as the ceremony turned out to be, a sad undertone preceded it. Although Ray's father did attend the ceremony (Frierson's father is deceased), their mothers refused to attend, even though many of their other relatives attended. Ray said his mother was supportive of almost everything-except being at the actual ceremony.

Many of Frierson's family-including three of his brother's, a cousin and even great aunts-showed up. But Frierson's mother was very forceful in her disdain for gay marriage and gay relationships in general."Her take is she doesn't support two men getting married. She said, "You know I don't believe in it." Frierson said 'It was like an attack against me personally."

While Frierson and Ray acknowledge the wider reality of some discomfort with gay marriages and relationships in general, they don't let that have a bearing on their personal life. As the two see it and live it, their life is healthy and normal.

Regardless, both men are concentrating on the new life they're building and not acceptance-or lack thereof-from family or the outside world. Frierson almost shrugs when asked why marriage, why now? His reply is simple. "God brought us together."

Read the entire article here.

Miami: Urban Magazine 'MPOWER' for SGL Men of Color Debuts

2011-02-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

If you live in Miami or any city in Southern Florida then be on the lookout for a new magazine focused specifically on SGL men of Color. MPOWER Magazine is an extension of Miami Men's MPOWERMENT Project, a unique organization created to inform, educate, and promote healthier lifestyles among young men who engage or may engage in risky sexual behaviors that make them susceptible to contracting STD's and HIV.

Yours truly is a staff writer for the magazine and I've contributed three articles in the current issue. I've posted a few scans and excerpts from the articles below since the magazine isn't online yet.

Diamond Taylor: Agent of Change: 25 year-old STD Prevention Researcher

An openly gay man, Taylor himself has felt the sting of judgement and rejection, placing him in a unique position to offer
compassion to those individuals' society has rendered unworthy.

At 21 he was kicked out of his family home after he revealed his sexual orientation to his conservative Bahamian family. "I was actually homeless for two months and I lived out of my car. It took a lot of time and a lot of tears {for his parents} to accept me for who I am and to realize that being gay is definitely not a choice," he says.

What got him through those difficult emotional days he says was "a lot of prayer and a lot of hope and belief that God would pull me through."

Life After Noah's Arc:

Our fascination with the groundbreaking black gay television series Noah's Arc didn't end after the abrupt cancellation of the hit show during it's second season nor after fans were extended invitations to witness Noah and Wade jump the broom during the 2008 theatrical release, for some their love and admiration of the men who brought our favorite characters to life only intensified. With DVD's of the original series becoming a staple in black same-gender loving households on par with Ebony and JET Magazines, and frequent reruns on LOGO, it came as no surprise that fans were curious to find out the "da-ga-ga" on the men behind the one name characters we fell in love with.

PrEp: A New Era in HIV Prevention?

PrEp is the latest strategy being used to prevent new HIV infections by the use of anti-retroviral drugs Viread and Truvada in negative individuals prior to sexual contact and possible exposure.

According to the Center for Disease Control the Botswana, Thailand, and Uganda trials are all assessing the effects of taking a daily pill on HIV risk behaviors, adherence to and acceptability of the regimen, and in cases where participants become HIV-infected, the resistance characteristics of the acquired virus.

More info at cdc.gov

Out Actor Billy Porter on Religious Bigotry

2011-02-13T07:56:00.004-05:00

"I'm not pulling any punches anymore. I'm Black, gay, and I love the Lord...and you can't take that away from me! You don't have to associate with me, but you can't take my God or my rights away because you don't agree with me". -Billy Porter, CLIK Magazine 2006

Loldarian.com favorite and phenomenal Broadway actor Billy Porter speaks on ending religious-based bigotry towards gay youth and adults in a special interview with The Advocate.

Porter, who is openly gay and Christian with strong ties to the Black church speaks from experience regarding the detrimental effects of religious bigotry on LGBT people.

"One of the problems that I see with religion as it relates to gay youth and gay in general is that...the bible is used as a tool and a weapon to promote bigotry and to promote hatred. It's a problem because our world is built on the foundation of religious beliefs, and when we sanction bigotry and hatred through religion, we say to the world that it's okay...and it just isn't", says Porter.

"There's a history of violence that comes as an outgrowth of the bible. When people who fear something that they don't understand can base their fear on religion it gives them license to lash out. I have been so affected by anti-gay religious discrimination because I longed for a very long time to just be accepted", he adds.

Porter appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show in 2005 on an episode titled 'When I Knew I Was Gay', he explained he had to come out to his mother three times.

"I come from a very religious background," he explains. "My mother is a Pentecostal preacher, and she just didn't want to hear it." After two failed attempts, Porter decided to bring home a man he was in love with. "It's not about you," he told his mom the third time. "It's about me. I have to live this."

Billy Porter can currently be seen in the hit Off-Broadway revival of Tony Kushner's Angels In America. Watch his interview with The Advocate below:

Historian Trent Kelly Shares Rare Photos of Black SGL Men

2011-02-11T12:24:00.000-05:00

February is the designated month during the year when we take time out to celebrate the contributions of great African-Americans, but the history of Black same-gender loving people and our contributions are largely ignored, not to mention our relationships. Our friends at No More Down Low TV have reminded us of an amazing photo collection we discovered online a while ago from historian Trent Kelly that captures same gender affection among Black men dating as far back as the 19th century.

No More Down Low TV interviewed Kelly via Skype from his home in Houston regarding his brilliant collection.

"I want the world to see the photographs. I want the black gay community to see the photographs and men in particular so they know they have a history to be proud of," says Kelly

Kelly has uploaded dozens of beautiful images of what appears to be Black same-gender loving couples in various states of embrace or implied closeness on his Flickr page and has appropriately named the collection "Hidden In The Open", most likely referring to the discretion the men had to utilize during a more conservative era.

While viewers of the photographs may or may not see two black men in love, Kelly reveals the inscriptions on the back of a photo of two sailors to be a little more descriptive.

"On the back of that particular photo he introduces the person sitting next to him as his "special friend", so it's pretty obvious the relationship between the two."

Simply incredible.

Watch No More Down Low TV's latest episode featuring the photo collection of Trent Kelly below:

Ashford & Simpson Presents B'way Star Terry Lavell's "Born This Way"

2011-02-11T12:23:00.003-05:00

There's no escaping the "born this way" mantra today. I've always believed this to be the case regarding sexual orientation but quite a few talented people are stepping up musically to send the message to the masses.

Lady Gaga's new single may be the talk of the industry today, but Valentino, Carl Bean, and even legendary musical couple Ashford and Simpson did it before her.

Theater performer and friend Timothy Ware tips loldarian.com to La Cage' Aux Folles star Terry Lavell's version of "Born This Way" penned by Ashford and Simpson.

The fierce Lavell delivers a soulful performance of the liberating song in his signature upper register while defying the rigid expectations of male gender conformity.

He sings- "I used to sneak and wear momma's high heels...I remember to this day how they made me feel. They said my voice was too high...I should act like a man and don't cry...but I'm tired of hiding what I'm all about...forgive me if I wanna shout it out!"

Yes! I live!

Valerie Simpson accompanies Lavell on keyboard and can be seen in the video as well as Nick Ashford cheering on all the fierceness.

Get into Terry Lavell's "Born This Way" below:

Lady Gaga's Gay Anthem "Born This Way" Premieres

2011-02-11T07:00:00.004-05:00

The highly anticipated lead single "Born This Way" from Lady Gaga's forthcoming album by the same name hit the airwaves today. The dance heavy track has been proclaimed to be the new gay anthem of liberation by Gaga and her camp. So does the song live up to the months of promotional hype? The jury is still out.

One thing is for sure it will be remixed to death and the boys in WeHo and Chelsea will be dancing shirtless in the club until the sun rises.

I love Gaga and her willingness to be an advocate for LGBT equality, but I can't help but love Valentino and Carl Bean's version of "Born This Way" a little more. I feel it in my soul when Bean belts, "I'm happy, carefree, and gay I was born this way!" Sadly, the message is muffled in Gaga's current version.

Listen to Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" here via ladygaganow.com.

And just in case you've never heard Carl Bean's version you can check it out here. You may want to turn your speakers all the way up for this one.

What do you think about Gaga's new single?

Travel Day

2011-02-10T09:06:00.002-05:00

Traveling for most of the day. Hope to resume updates later this evening.

ATL: LGBT Community Gathers To Address Stigma & Homophobia During Town Hall

2011-02-08T16:38:00.002-05:00

Over 80 people from Atlanta's LGBT community gathered last night at Tabernacle Baptist Church, an LGBT affirming house of worship led by Rev. Dennis Meredith to discuss the impact of stigma as it relates to HIV, homophobia, and religion in the Black LGBT community.

The panel consisted of Dr. Edith Biggers (Fulton County Health Department), Pastor Paris Ealey (The Vision Church of Atlanta), Pastor Will Horn(The Power Center) and community activist and artist Anye Elite.

Panelists reiterated the need for prevention but drove home the need to eradicate internalized homophobia and stigma that often leads to destructive behaviors.

One audience member rose to urge people within our community to "get a little nosey". "As individuals we need to start getting a little nosey. We've got to stop having these surface relationships with people," he said. "When was the last time you pulled a friend to the side and asked him if he's had an HIV test?"

Ealey seized the opportunity to highlight the need for mentorship between older and younger LGBT's and the hypocrisy of the black church and it's effect on the self-esteem of gays and lesbians.

"Very intelligent people suspend their thinking processes when they come into church. Church is the only place where there is socially sanctioned retardation," says Ealey.

"You can come in here and spend forty-years and know no more when they roll you out of here than you knew when you walked in...and we're okay with that. So the church can start by telling the truth."

Watch footage from the town hall below:

"I Am Who I Am" : Webisodes Feature Everyday LGBT's of Color

2011-02-08T13:34:00.000-05:00

This is great. Lesbian filmmaker Ochi has launched a series of interviews with everyday LGBT people of color as a part of her GriotFilms production company on YouTube.

I Am Who I Am: Darryl offers insight into the life of this 48 years young openly gay man who has been in a loving relationship with his partner Rodney for over twenty years and are now raising a child.

"Most children who end up without parents come from straight homes. They come from abusive homes...they come rom neglect. People wanna say that gays and lesbians shouldn't be raising children...well we didn't put these children out here, especially gay men. We didn't put these children out here that need love and attention and guidance," says Darryl.

"I don't look at us as a gay couple raising a child. I look at us as two black men trying to help another black child be successful in life."

Darryl also address the different dynamics in gay vs. heterosexual relationships and the pitfalls some gay men and lesbians encounter by trying to mimic heterosexual relationships.

Loldarian.com had the pleasure of interviewing and including Darryl and his partner Rodney in my upcoming book When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color, and the life lessons and wisdom they've acquired individually and as a couple and are now sharing with the younger generation of LGBT's is extremely valuable.

Watch I Am Who I Am: Darryl below:

Author, Pastor & Activist Terry Angel Mason on HIV Stigma & the Black Church

2011-02-08T10:17:00.001-05:00

Each year on February 7th we recognize National Black HIV Awareness Day. Activist, acclaimed author, and friend to lodarian.com Terry Angel Mason shares his story of living with AIDS with Black Wellness Magazine Real Health. Mason also address HIV stigma and the damaging messages he learned from the church and what he's done to escape the bondage of religion in order to live a more authentic life in harmony with God as his total self.

"I was diagnosed not with HIV but with full blown AIDS ten years ago. When I was diagnosed it was a complete shock to me because I'd tested regularly and my responses were always negative. So when I was diagnosed with full blown AIDS and with just 95 T-cells...you could imagine the shock," says Mason.

"I was diagnosed when I was literally pastoring, and my first response was to hide it. It just wasn't the kind of thing you wanted to tell somebody...you have full blown AIDS and you're a pastor. But I decided I wouldn't hide it."

In His Own Words from Real Health Magazine:

Imagine, sitting in church for years, surrounded by hundreds of people (lonely and feeling rejected) hearing sermon after sermon, hating who I was and what I was, on the brink of suicide and a nervous breakdown. I was convinced that God detested the most important part of who I was and I felt trapped in a condition not of my own doing and hell-bound.

Now, here is the good news! Something happened to me, even in the midst of all this madness, I took the preacher at his word and developed a personal relationship with God. Now this presented a huge problem because the Creator that I came to know intimately, never condemned me for being gay and to my recollection, never even made a big deal out of it. This was quite a contrast to what I was hearing over the pulpit. When I felt rejected, He bathed me in the warmth of His love! When I was tempted to give up and end my life, He convinced me that I had everything to live for and assured me that He had a marvelous plan for my life!

In 2001, when I was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS, He never abandoned me, even when others said that my affliction was most certainly the result of my rebellious lifestyle and was without question, the wrath of God in full manifestation in my life! While I must confess to making some bad decisions while in my early 20's and 30's (that exposed me to the HIV virus), there are consequences that we ALL must face as a result of bad choices. God made one thing crystal clear to me: He loves me, wanted me well and wanted me to make choices that would not put me or anyone at risk of contracting any type of disease. This is the message that I pass on to everyone each time I have the opportunity to share my story. I tell people that the fact AIDS exists is no one individual's fault, but it is our fault, if we don't act responsibly and protect ourselves and individuals with whom we are intimate.

Watch Real Health Magazine's interview with Terry Angel Mason here.

Terry Angel Mason is an ordained minister, activist, and author of Love Won't Let Me Be Silent and the forthcoming They Say That I Am Broken. Read loldarian.com's review of Love Won't Let Me Be Silent here.

Watch: CNN Examines Same-Sex Parenting in the South

2011-02-08T08:03:00.004-05:00

You may recall reading a post recently on loldarian.com about a New York Times article on same-sex parenting in the South. Newly released data from the Census Bureau found Jacksonville, Florida to be the home of the second largest population of gay parents in the country. Many of these households are headed by minority gay and lesbian couples.

CNN examines the dynamics and challenges experienced by gay families with lesbian couple Latisha Bines and Misty Gray who are raising three children.

"Hetero or homo it doesn't matter, either way it's a great support system", says Gray to CNN.

Much of the segment focuses on the volatile relationship between gays and the church, and of course in an effort to be "fair and balanced" CNN interviews conservative Bishop Vaughn McLaughlin of Potter's House Christian Fellowship in Jacksonville.

"I believe that the couples in the church should have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ that will bring a conviction that Jesus taught and the scriptures teach that marriage is between a man and a woman," says McLaughlin.

I'm sure he meant to say between a man and his three wives if we're to follow scripture to the letter, but who's checking facts.

According to the NY Times: About a third of lesbians are parents, and a fifth of gay men are. Advocacy groups argue that their children are some of society’s most vulnerable, with fewer legal protections and less health insurance than children of heterosexual parents.

Married same-sex parents face legal hurdles. Florida does not recognize same-sex marriage, and its domestic partnership recognition, while growing, is an uneven patchwork, and still leaves many spouses uninsured.

Watch the CNN segment below:

George King: Star of Doritos Ad on "The Sauna" Controversy and Being Out

2011-02-07T12:18:00.002-05:00

It was the would-be Super bowl ad that went viral. "The Sauna" featuring a ripped and sweaty Black man and a seemingly not-so-shy Caucasian admirer sent the internet into a frenzy last week with it's gay overtones.

George King, the man who became the object of affection for his Dorito's co-star and thousands of admirers who viewed the ad recently spoke exclusively to No More Down Low TV.

The Los Angeles based personal trainer responds to the negative criticism he's received from some in the LGBT community who believes the ad perpetuates the stereotype of black male hyper-sexuality. King, who has no ambition of becoming a professional actor, agreed to do the spot as a favor to a friend and has no regrets about his participation.

While he admits his phone hasn't been ringing off the hook with offers to do more commercials he has enjoyed a surge in Facebook friend requests. And oh...I'm sure his many male admirers will love the fact that King is openly gay and has been since the age of 19. How can you not love a man who is attractive, fit, and comfortable in his own skin? And he's single too boys.

Get into No More Down Low TV's exclusive interview with George King below:

Thanks Calvin!

Coupled Up: Nathan and Dwayne

2011-02-04T19:27:00.001-05:00

“We allow each other space to breathe and just as easily enjoy the time we spend together everyday. We laugh at one another on a daily basis, and try our best to check in, ask questions and listen. We respect one another and our investment in this journey we share.” –Dwayne

Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Together for fourteen years

When Dwayne Jenkins 45, and Nathan Mitchell 46, met in the spring of 1996 at a Nashville CARES volunteer meeting it was supposed to be all business. They were focused on creating a safe and affirming group for same gender loving black men in their area and weren’t the least bit interested in finding “the one”, nor did it ever occur to either of them that the one could only be a few feet away.

“Each of us were just getting out of four year relationships and the thought of immediately jumping into another one was the last thing on my mind”, says Dwayne.

It was literally a dare that set the wheels of this inevitable romance in motion, a romance that was clearly obvious to the men witnessing the connection developing between Dwayne and Nathan but somehow escaped the two people involved.

“One night after a meeting, we all got together at someone’s apartment and ended up playing truth or dare. It was my turn and the “truth” question I accepted was; “Is there anyone in the group whom you are attracted to?”
When I answered no, Nathan somewhat loudly stated to the person next to him; “Damn! He didn’t even give any of us a chance!” I tried to back track, but someone shouted, “Oh don’t try and change your answer now!” Later as we walked and talked ahead of the others to our cars, we were told everyone could tell it was a done deal.”

“Honestly, after I asked Nathan out on our first “official date” to the .99 cents Movie Theater, I suspected we were right for each other. If a man doesn’t mind you taking him to a cheap movie, and sharing the snacks you snuck into the movies, drinks and all, he’s a keeper!”

“Within the first few months we both decided to wear rings”, says Nathan.

Like many states in America Dwayne and Nathan aren’t afforded the right to marry in Tennessee despite their level of commitment.

“If we were able to get all of the same financial benefits that heterosexual couples have I would consider getting married,” says Dwayne. “As it stands now, we’ve had three styles of commitment rings, a mortgage, and various other legal documents within our fourteen year relationship so it’s safe to say that we feel more than legal.”

“Each of us respects one another and our investment in this journey that we share. Beyond it all, we are best friends who truly cares for the well being of the other. Regardless of what the future holds, our friendship is the most important ingredient that keeps us together.”

Note: This Coupled Up entry is an excerpt from my forthcoming book When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color arriving this spring.

Documentary: You Are Not Alone: Black Gay Men & Depression

2011-02-04T15:19:00.000-05:00

"He must learn to love himself. He must be proud of who he is. He must live an authentic life. And if others cannot accept him then he must accept himself and demand the respect he should have."- Jeffery Gardere

Depression is a serious issue that many of us in the Black LGBT community deal with silently. After receiving numerous e-mails from readers dealing with this issue following a previous post I wanted to continue to shed light on this topic.

New York based author Antoine Craigwell is the driving force behind the forthcoming book Peering Into The Dark: A Look At Depression in Black Gay Men and the documentary You Are Not Alone.

"As a resource, it is to assist Black gay men struggling with the many different issues, including racism, discrimination, bigotry, stigma, sexual identity, sexual abuse, ostracism, and homophobia, to name a few; to know they are not alone and that they could rise above their circumstances," says Craigwell.

It seeks to give voice to the many Black gay men who live in pain and suffer in silence, and enables many Black gay men to know they are not alone and are stronger when they reach out for help - trusting, talking with someone, even a therapist," he adds.

The trailer for You Are Not Alone has been released and you may recognize quite a few familiar faces active on the NY gay political and entertainment scene; blogger and author Taylor Siluwe', radio show host DJ Baker (Da Doo Dirty Show), and community activist Carnell Ambrose all share their experiences with depression.

Watch the trailer below:

h/t NoMoreDownLowTv

The GA Voice: Polyamory vs. Monogamy in Gay Relationships

2011-02-04T12:25:00.000-05:00

Atlanta's local LGBT news weekly The Georgia Voice examines polyamory vs monogamy in gay relationships. Georgia Voice staff writer Dyana Bagby interviewed my partner Joseph and I who are in a committed monogamous relationship. Here's an excerpt:

From The Georgia Voice:

Darian Aaron, 30, and his boyfriend, Joseph Gates, 22, have been together six months. When they decided to commit to each other, they discussed monogamy and decided they would be exclusive to each other.

“We met on Twitter,” said Aaron, who blogs at Living Out Loud with Darian. “First we flirted publicly, then we started doing it in private.”

Their first date was for ice cream at Rita’s in Midtown and the couple is set to move in together in the fall.

“We did discuss monogamy and we both decided early on that we wanted to be with each other exclusively. We both understand how open relationships work. I believe there has to be a level of trust between two parties before that can happen,” said Aaron.

Bringing in a third party too soon may sabotage their relationship, Aaron added.

“We are still building that foundation for something we want to last a lifetime,” he said.

Gates acknowledged he is the jealous type — something that has to be dealt with carefully in polyamorous relationships — and can’t imagine Aaron with someone else. He also wants to prove to the world that two black gay men can be in a loving relationship, something he says is not visible in society.

“I want to break the stereotype. Me and Darian are an example that you can find two black gay men in love and that it’s a wonderful thing,” Gates said.

Aaron, who wrote a series of “Coupled Up” stories for his blog, has now written a book about black gay men in loving relationships that is tentatively set to be released this spring.

Monogamy is definitely a challenge for any relationship, Aaron said, not only for gay men. But in Atlanta, where there are “so many beautiful men,” it can be difficult to remain faithful to one person.

“This is part of an ongoing discussion I have with my friends,” Aaron said. “I got lucky that I met someone who is on the same page.”

Atlanta also has a “notorious reputation” as a place to go for quick, meaningless sex, Aaron said.

“It’s hard to come across a couple in a committed, loving relationship. And a lot of people are jaded,” he said.

For Gates, who said he looks forward to learning more about Aaron every day, their love is strong enough to combat the outside forces that may say their monogamous relationship is not the norm, especially among gay men.

“He has shown me that it is OK to live out loud, to be gay and proud,” Gates said. “He reassures me he loves me no matter what.”

For Aaron, Gates is an example of unconditional love.

“I love so much about him. He accepts me as I am, flaws and all,” he said.

Short Films: One On One & Close

2011-02-04T09:38:00.001-05:00

If you enjoy independent films or movies dealing with the LGBT experience as it relates to minorities then I'm sure you're probably as frustrated as I am regarding the lack of films that speak directly to our experience. Every now and then I'll come across a film or two I haven't seen before online and I'm compelled to share them with you- such is the case with One on One and Close, two films I discovered on YouTube.

One On One is a short film that follows Alex and Trevor as they work out their relationship on and off the basketball court, after one of them asks the other to join a waltz class. One On One is written and directed by gay filmmaker Luis Fernando Midence.

Close is a 2011 Sundance Official Selection and although the characters in the film are heterosexual it definitely appeals to gay audiences. One night after a casual "visit," Angela is all but ready to leave Derek's apartment. Derek, however, is determined not to let her go without a fight. The short was written and directed by Tahir Jetter.

Get into both films and let me know your thoughts.

Janet Jackson's Number Ones: Up Close & Personal Tour Kicks Off In Manila

2011-02-04T07:58:00.004-05:00

The legendary diva Janet Jackson kicks off her first world tour in over ten years tonight in Manila, Philippines. Jackson is billing her Number Ones: Up Close and Personal Tour as her most intimate live concert ever celebrating 35 number one hits and is quickly selling out venues across the world. Jackson will also play Singapore on Feb 7, a country that banned her 1997 album The Velvet Rope for tracks such as "Free Xone", "Tonight's The Night", and "What About" which explored homosexuality and domestic violence.

Jackson tells Singapore publication The New Paper that she "isn't a grudge holder". In an e-mail interview with The New Paper, the 44-year-old singer-actress - and now author - said she was looking forward to returning to Singapore after last performing here during her Janet tour in 1995. "I remember how wonderful everyone was," she wrote.

Jackson is seen in the picture above on a break from tour rehearsals with choreographer and best friend Gil Duldulao.

Photos of Jackson at recent events suggest she's well into the rumoured punishing fitness regime before starting each world tour.

"I have been getting ready for this tour now for months... picking the songs, working with my stylist, Robert Behar, on the costumes, rehearsing. I can't wait to get back on the stage," she said.

Jackson was last seen on stage during her record-breaking performance at The Essence Music Festival in New Orleans where she surpassed the arena capacity of Beyonce Knowles' past festival appearances.

The Number Ones: Up Close and Personal Tour arrives stateside on March 7th in Chicago. Loldarian.com will be up close and personal with Jackson when she arrives in Atlanta on March 29th.

Click here for a complete list of tour dates. Are you going to see Janet's new tour? Tell me about it.

Update: Concert photos and video from Manila have been added.

Ice Cube's 'Are We There Yet'? Respectfully Tackles Black Gay Story Line

2011-02-01T07:33:00.004-05:00

Gay characters on television are becoming as common as the sitcom itself, but black gay characters are rarely seen in prime-time if at all. Ice Cube's hit TBS comedy 'Are We There Yet' recently tackled a gay storyline involving one of the most non-stereotypical presentations of a black gay character I've seen on TV in quite a while.

In 'The Boy Has Style', Cedric, a well dressed, 6'2, attractive football player is the object of sixteen-year old Lindsey's affection but there's only one problem-he's gay.

Cedric admits that's he's gay and only interested in a platonic relationship when confronted by Lindsey's father played by Terry Crews. There's no drama or attempt on Cedric's part to lie about who he is and his honesty is received with respect.

This episode is a step in the right direction and one can only hope it will serve as a blueprint for other shows such as TV One's Love That Girl which relies heavily on stereotypical gay characters for laughs. The writers of this episode of 'Are We There Yet'? definitely got this one right.

Check out the full episode HERE and tell me your thoughts.

'Are We There Yet'? airs Wednesday at 10/9c on TBS.

Thanks khalid!

The Return of Noah's Arc...No Seriously

2011-01-29T18:24:00.005-05:00

The Game isn't the only show poised for a comeback. The groundbreaking Black gay comedy Noah's Arc is proving to have nine lives and may seriously be on it's way back four years after it's abrupt cancellation.

Loldarian.com received the news yesterday afternoon from a source closely connected to the show who revealed LOGO is indeed close to green lighting a third season of Noah's Arc. If you're as skeptical as I was when I first heard the news, given the false alarms we've had in the past, let me assure you that it's safe to start creating invitations for your viewing party now.

LOGO is TRULY listening. If you want to see the boys return and gay people of color represented on television again it's really up to the fans.

A Facebook page has been created to provide a space for fans to express how the show has impacted their lives and the testimonials are pouring in by the hundreds.

If Noah's Arc helped you accept your sexual orientation, come out to friends and family, salvage a broken relationship with your parents, prevent a suicide attempt, or even change your perception of the LGBT community in a positive way then utilize the Facebook page to tell your story.

If the power of social media can revive an 89 year-old actresses career and win her a hosting gig on Saturday Night Live then it can definitely bring back Noah's Arc.

The Facebook page is HERE

Let me know how you feel about the show's return in the comment section too as LOGO executives read this blog.

Let's take a stroll down memory lane in the video below:

B. Scott Interviews the Legendary Chaka Khan

2011-01-27T16:20:00.000-05:00

Internet celebrity and friend to loldarian.com B. Scott sits down with the legendary Chaka Khan. The original "I'm Every Woman" soul singer serves up a dose of humor and honesty as she recalls her past life as a drug user at the height of her fame as a solo artist. Khan also opens up about her family's influence on her career and what she's been up to lately. And of course, if you're a singer and a guest on The B. Scott Show there's no way you're getting out of singing...and she does.

Get into the interview below:

First Look: Miss Lawrence's Cover Art for "Closet Freak"

2011-01-27T08:47:00.005-05:00

For your entertainment. Straight from The A brings us the cover art for Closet Freak, the debut single from this season's breakout male star of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Lawrence Washington aka Miss Lawrence.

Miss Lawrence is the music protege' of Housewives co-star and friend to loldarian.com Kandi Burrus. Burrus is grooming Miss Lawrence to be the first successful mainstream Black openly gay singer since Sylvester and Jermaine Stewart made their mark on the industry in the 80's. However, I think B. Slade has already beat them to the finish line.

Miss Lawrence made his television debut as a solo artist last weekend on Watch What Happens Live on Bravo. You can watch the performance here.

I'm sure we all have our own opinion of Miss Lawrence and the way gay men are portrayed on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, but we're gonna save that for another post. Let's wish Miss Lawrence the best as he definitely has the vocal ability and stage presence to pull this off. I wonder if Kim is taking notes. #shady

Get into my favorite live performance of Closet Freak below: